Should I see my ob/gyn at all?

[DDNemo]

So I have a MW - just getting to know her and all seems great so far. This is my first pregnancy and I plan on a home birth.

My whole family is worried, but they are starting to come around. However, my mother would really like it if I saw my ob/gyn at least once and get her "ok" on a homebirth.

Should I see my regular ob/gyn and at least let her know I'm pregnant? Should I try to get her to back me up in case I need to transfer or if things get complicated and I risk out of HB? (I am overweight, and afraid of gest. diabeties)

Is it possible to have a relationship with an ob and a mw at the same time? And if so, should I try?

I've been having insomnia.... so I thought I'd get up and ask my questions.

[courtenay_e]

I didn't see if you said what state you live in...but SOMETIMES it can actually be a bad thing to let your OB know that you're planning a homebirth. Some hospitals have policies that make it impossible for them to back up a homebirther. If you want to continue parallel care, go for it...but understand that it might be easier for you and "safer" for your OB if you just act as if you're planning a hospital birth the whole time, and then don't "make" it to the hospital for the birth. It might NOT be the case where you are, though. I'd go into the finding your tribe area and ask around about that. Generally there'll be somebody there who knows the midwifery politics in your area. Know that if you're overweight and worried about gestational diabetes, then your doc will be too...and is likely to want to induce you at the end of your pregnancy. IS that a fight you'll want to have when you're planning a homebirth anyway? And I would highly suggest that you look very thoroughly into "Gestational Diabetes," what it is, why the term was coined, and how "protocol" does not fit "diagnosis."

Generally, if a homebirth midwife is willing to take you on as a "risk" I'd trust my gut and trust her as a practitioner. The midwives I know don't generally place themselves in danger of losing their licenses or going to jail by taking on a client who isn't fit for homebirth. THey ARE willing to take more "risk" than an OB sometimes...but not so much that they'd be placing themselves, their practices, and their family lives at risk.

If you're overweight, are you willing to address how and what you eat, to ensure a healthy pregnancy? Are you willing to exercise daily in some way to prepare your baby and your body for labor? Not saying to go gangbusters and start working out three hours a day...but I am saying that as a homebirth candidate it's a good idea to take responsibility for the outcome of your birth, rather than "getting a doctor's "permission" to have your baby at home." Does that make sense?

[courtenay_e]

Oh, Florida? No, there, I probably wouldn't ask your own doc's permission for a homebirth. It's my understanding that in Florida your midwife will have to have an OB backup anyway, and follow protocol set by the state and the OB to "allow" you to homebirth anyway. In this case, I would definately start eating responsibly if you're not already, because whether you're in an OB care model or the midwifery model you'll probably have to be tested. Make sure you read about carb loading and do that as well as the proper breakfast and exercise routine before you take the test.

[alegna]

no, no and no.

No reason to do it.

She won't "okay" it.

-Angela

[ralphie76]

I haven't seen an OB in years, and have no plans to when I get pregnant. If something indicated that I HAD to, I would only go to the OB that my midwife works with occasionally who is pro-homebirth. I would NOT go to any old OB and ask them to OK a homebirth because chances are, they wouldn't. And I don't want to open myself up to grief and drama.

I believe in planning for the best, not the worst. Take care of yourself and be as healthy as you can, and forget about the OB unless it becomes an issue later.

[DDNemo]

thanks ladies!

I wont go to the ob then! thats simple.

I am exercizing every day and REALLY watching what I eat now... LOTS of organic veggies and some fruit... and all the rest!

In a hurry gotta go!

Thanks!

[courtenay_e]

Glad to hear you came to a decision.

Too, I'd check to be sure you're getting enough protein.

[gemasita]

and get her "ok" on a homebirth

That's such a strange thing to seek out from an ob.....

Your mother can get her next birth ok'ed by her ob if she wants to but your birth is your birth. Doesn't sound like you need the ok yourself.

[Stephanie L.]

oh pheww! I came in late and see that you have made a choice already, ...a Wise choice!

[Stephanie L.]

I had already started going to my midwife when I went to the OB appt I'd already made from long before. I didn't tell the doc about my real plans. When I asked her various questions that I already knew the answer to (facts, mind you) she said some outrageous things, scare tactics.: Obviously, she didn't know much about natural birthing!!

I never went back.

For the next baby, needless to say, I only called my midwives.: OBs don't even know that Stephanie L. exists!

[Kirsten]

Originally Posted by DDNemo

Should I see my regular ob/gyn and at least let her know I'm pregnant?
Should I try to get her to back me up in case I need to transfer or if things get complicated and I risk out of HB? (I am overweight, and afraid of gest. diabeties)
Is it possible to have a relationship with an ob and a mw at the same time?

No, no need to - and it wouldn't be a pleasant experience if you did.
No, your midwife already has an OB backup - one who is natural birth friendly.
No, you really should pick a road and go down it. They offer different experiences; which one do you want?

Originally Posted by courtenay_e

Generally, if a homebirth midwife is willing to take you on as a "risk" I'd trust my gut and trust her as a practitioner. The midwives I know don't generally place themselves in danger of losing their licenses or going to jail by taking on a client who isn't fit for homebirth.

Exactly.

I knew a woman who considered a midwife for her second birth, after hearing about my experiences. She had no idea that her prenancy and birth could be managed/overseen/whatever word you want to use in such a respectful manner. But the nervous/rule follower part of her led her to make an appointment with her OB from the first birth, just to get her opinion on it.

Any wild guesses as to how that went? OB was of course defensive that she might make a different choice - because of course that infers that something about her first birth (that the OB was her care provider for) was somehow lacking, and would be improved by different care. OB pulls out the scare tactics of dead baby/dead mother/etc and the woman caved and went to the OB, for another crummy birth experience. Sad.

I know your mom just wants you to be safe. She should meet the midwife (if you feel comfortable with that) and do some research. You are actually much safer - as is baby - in the birth center than you are in the hospital.

I've had three kids and never met an OB. It will be fine.

[DoomaYula]

I'm overweight and have never had Gest Diabetes, with 3 pregs. I weighed about 220 when I got pregnant with my first (twins), 240 when I got pregnant with #3, and 230 with this pregnancy. I only saw an ob because my twins were high risk (which is not true of all twins). Haven't seen one since then.

[Genesis]

Originally Posted by alegna

no, no and no.

No reason to do it.

She won't "okay" it.

-Angela

:

Your mom needs to leave the decisions about your body and baby up to you.

[ani'smommy]

I told my family doc (who was at Anneke's birth) but mainly because she is a family friend and I knew she was supportive of homebirth. (She had one herself.) I wanted her to know that I wanted her to be the baby's doctor and to ask her when she wanted to see the baby. I guess I told her mainly because it was a sort of akward situation since we see her socially occasionally.

I didn't make an appointment and I wasn't seen by her, though. And I certainly didn't ask her permission.

[1stimestar]

Would your mom ask her mechanic if HE thought it was ok if she went to the mechanic down the street?

[Maggi315]

No, I wouldn't. of course, if someone is seeing me and they want to see their ob/gyn I am fine with that, but I see no value. If you need to change or get a second opinion later, you can do that. "letting them know you are pregnant" isn't going to guarantee anything or make them more supportive of your plans to homebirth.

I don't know about your midwife, but since I have been gestational and on insulin, I do homebirths as long as the local endo is OK with how things are going. It is the endo you will probably need to think about if you are worried about gestational.

I think you should forget worrying about the ob/gyn and cross that bridge if and when you come to it.

and get your nutrition, exercise and supplements in order now to get rid of your worries about gestational diabetes.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

I wouldn't.