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"That's enough already!" - Page 2

post #21 of 38

So, so rude. My parents reacted similarly when I announced I was pregnant with DD2. Not verbally, but passively. It made me feel so bad
post #22 of 38
Congrats on your pregnancy! I am really hoping to be pg again myself soon.

When I was pg with dd (that's #1, folks), I got a lot of odd comments - I guess because I was in school (professional degree, not even undergrad). I didn't consider myself that young - dd was born shortly after my 25th birthday. But I had teachers ask me, "Is this a good thing?" and grandparents act concerned . . . I think the real bummer was my brother. I called him to let him know, thinking he'd say something nice. Instead, he said,

"Oh. Well, I'm not sure what you want me to say."

So I said, "CONGRATULATIONS! That's what you're supposed to say!"

Uh, yeah. Not surprisingly, he has not shown much interest (ok, almost zero) in his niece. I just don't get it.
post #23 of 38
Congrats on your pregnancy!

What a rude thing to say to you!

We heard some rude things too... like... "Better you than me" (from MIL and DH's secretary) and "Aren't you a little old for that?" (from my sister).

People can be real idiots. :
post #24 of 38

My parents were definitely glad it was me, not them and I think a bit sad for me. Odd emotion at such a happy time, isn't it? Many people are not good at handling surprises and given time they may come around. (My mom is already asking why stop now, how long until #6 when #5 isn't yet here.)
post #25 of 38
Why would someone say that?

I get asked "if this ones not a boy are you going to try again for a boy?" :

What is with people?
post #26 of 38
For my first, my mother asked, so you're getting an abortion, right? But that's a whole other thread.
I had 2 boys and my family ASSumed I was done. When I announced I was preggers with number three I got a lot of "pity" ("oh I'm sorry." "Well at least we can hope it's a girl" etc). When we found out it was a girl it changed to "well now you're done" and "no need for any more now" and other equally asinine comments. When I found out I was preggers with numbers four my grandmother openly wept "for me". Yeah, she was so upset that I was "going to be burdened" with "yet another". : I waited until I was in my second trimester to tell everyone about the twins. I have been overjoyed with each of pregnancies and been hurt (badly) each time someone said something negative. I'll never understand why others feel like their opinions and their choices in life should be pushed at me. Honestly, I am not so stupid as to *not* know how this is happening. Wouldn’t I stop if I WANTED to?!?!
OP - ignore the asses. Be happy and share with people who are happy for you. Screw the rest. Their loss of your loving happy family.
post #27 of 38
My parents think it is funny to ask me if DH and I have figured out how babies are made yet. Yeah... not funny. :
post #28 of 38
You could always do like my aunt did after people gave her crap for #3...

Later when the 3rd child did something fantastic and Grandma/Aunt/Uncle/IL commented on it she would look them dead in the face (of course DC was NO where around) and say "And thats the one you didn't want." It got the point across. LOL...of course my aunt tends to hold a grudge.

I just told my dad "I plan on having at least 4 children. If you don't like that you don't have to see them." it ticked him off, and YES, I would keep my children from the mean relative...I don't want my kids around someone that doesn't think my Whatever# child should have been concieved.

AND, as a side note...I HATE when people make comments about whether people should have # child when they are ALREADY pregnant, what in the heck is the point in that? I just want to smack people and say "What would you have me do? Get in my Way Way Back Machine and tell my husband "Not tonight?" jerks...
post #29 of 38
yeah my grandmother didn't talk to me for months when she found i was pregnant with number 3. i don't even get that attitude it's not as if they have to take care of them. My mother tells me all the time is should get my tubes tied, umm nope that's not for me.
post #30 of 38
Originally Posted by eldadeedlit View Post
My parents think it is funny to ask me if DH and I have figured out how babies are made yet. Yeah... not funny. :
Answer to this question is: Yes! And we're good at it. In fact, we're thinking of using the videos to help fund our retirement. When would you like to preview them so you can tell me how many you want to order for your friends?

Y'know, since they're so interested in your intimate life and all....
post #31 of 38
Some people are idiots.:

OP - ignore the asses. Be happy and share with people who are happy for you. Screw the rest. Their loss of your loving happy family.
I love this advice. OP, and congratulations. We're happy for you!
post #32 of 38
sheesh...i thought children are supposed to be blessings. : did i miss the memo or something?

sorta on the same topic: people made stupid remarks RIGHT after i had my DD. "so...when are ya gonna have a boy?"


i can't believe how rude and insensitive people can be.
post #33 of 38
Congrats on your pg!!!

I have nothing furthur to add to the "snappy comebacks" discussion. It's hard to think of good things to say when pg and hormonal!
post #34 of 38
Congratulations to you! I think your news is fabulous. I get comments all the time, but most of them are good natured. The good natured ones I don't mind so much because I know the people mean well, and they know I'm a goof. They get a little tiresome, but that's all. The mean spirited ones are unbelievable. I've told this story before, but it's not out of my system yet - When I was trying to conceive my last child, I bought a pg test in a Target near our house that we frequent. I had recently miscarried - which was heartbreaking - and badly wanted to be pg. The checker who recognized me (you know - that weird mom with THREE kids), saw the pg test, and said, "OMG, I hope it's negative." So, you're not alone. Don't let them get to you. Come here and we'll send you lots of good vibes!
post #35 of 38
First of all CONGRATS to the OP!

Since my first was not planned, when I got pregnant with #2 (planned) I had some family members make stupid comments like "already?! geez, I would have thought you would have learned to be careful the first time!" We had been so excited to tell my parents and the ILs that we planned a big surprise to tell them. MIL's response was "another one? well...if that is what you want" :

Then when people found out #2 was a boy they all told us it must feel nice to be "done". I've not had a single family member ask me if we plan on anymore kids, they just assume that because we have a boy and a girl we should be finished. My MIL has been quite vocal that she thinks we should not have anymore kids. Its ironic that my friend who has 2 boys the same ages as my kids, gets asked all the time if she is going to have a girl soon. I truly want a third child, but we have to wait a year to TTC, I can't wait to hear the comments when we are actually expecting again.
post #36 of 38
Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital View Post
Um wow, did you tell her how rude she was being? I honestly think some people might stop saying such wretched things if we stopped biting our tongues when they say them.
s Congrats on your pregnancy!
"I do not care what you think your intent was in saying that. It was unacceptable."

post #37 of 38
Who the hell raised people to respond to the news of a pregnancy as a bad thing?

The polite thing to say is "Congratulations! Do you know when you're due?" Geez, I stick my foot in my mouth all.the.time. and even I know that.
post #38 of 38
I've learned in my 3 childless years here on MDC is that I'm to expect horrid comments NO MATTER WHAT I DO!!!

I'm 29 with no kids yet. So I get comments on how I better have one soon. If I had one already someone would have said it was too soon. If I have one kid, people are going to be asking when I'm going to give him/her a sibling. When I get pregnant with #2, people will say "is this it? are you done now?" and if I have more, I'll get even worse.

You can't win at all!
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