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What is the funniest thing your toddler ever said to you?

post #1 of 83
Thread Starter 
Every day I LOL with my son. He has my DH and I rolling every day. The latest thing is he walks up to me and while scratching his head he says in a serious voice; "Mamma, I got pet dander." TOO FUNNY!!!!!
post #2 of 83
There really is something every day. Last week we were looking for the moon, it wasn't out but we could see some stars. He said, "me touch?" I explained that the stars were very high, so he could not reach. "Me jump, hiiiighh," was his answer. I said, that when we got home, he could try, but it might not work. He said, "me stand up, airplane, jump hiighhh, reach." I agreed and said that might work. How do you argue that??
post #3 of 83
I was drinking a coke the other day and won a hat . It said it under the lid. I had to tell someone (yeah, my life is that dull) so i showed dd and said "Look, mommy won a hat" she looked back at me and said "Thats not a hat. thats your lid" and shook her head and walked off. She truely thinks I am a lost cause.
post #4 of 83
These are funny! My daughter just started really talking, but her first sentence was "I'm stuck." That was odd, lol.
post #5 of 83

He said. . .

. . . "Mama's penis!" with great pride, while pointing at my crotch after a shower. I almost DIED I was laughing so hard!

But like others here, there's something just about every day. At the grocery store the other evening he started shouting, "Time to GO!! Time to GO-oooo!"

He cracks me up!

post #6 of 83
My first son (now twenty) began giggling like crazy while I was

drying off after a shower.

I couldn't help but chuckle while asking what?

what are you laughing about?

Him: You have REALLY big "belly-buttons"

Looking where he was pointing I realized he was pointing at my


<edited to add - just thought I might mention he was about three years old at the time>
post #7 of 83
We visited the zoo today and DS also made a major poop on the potty tonight (one of his first on the potty). Still in the zoo frame of mind, I said something to DH about it being about as big as an elephant's. DS danced around the potty cheering,"It's like an e-phants! My poop is like an e-phants!!!"

Also, at the zoo today, we were watching the Mama Lioness, Daddy Lion, and two year old cubs napping in the shade (just a foot away, behind a glass window). The male lion got up, yawned, mounted the female, and did his thing, we saw it all. DS yelled "He's on the mama's back!" over and over. And then I heard an older toddler say "Yeah, look! They are playing LEAPFROG!!!!":LOL :LOL :LOL
post #8 of 83
mmgarda ~ LOL! My ds says that too.. He thinks it is the funnuest thing.. When I change his pants he'll say "Mommy has a penis too! No, Mommy doesn't have a penis!" and crack up..

hmmm.. I can't think of the funniest thing ever.. he says funny stuff all the time.. That's a tough one...
post #9 of 83
Having weaned ds just 2 months ago (b11/5/00), he occasionally will ask for 'a lil b'(a little b) . I tell him that I don't have any more, and he says "daddy will get you some" and I ask "where will he get it"? and every time he says--with no coaching, ever--"At the health food store"!
Makes me laugh every time
post #10 of 83
My mom and I were talking about what to make for dinner the other night, and as it was already 6 o'clock, she said, "I don't think we should start shopping for something now. Let's not cook because it's aleady late." Ds, obviously listening in on our conversation, turned around and interjected, "Not tonight, BABY!" Perfect inflection and all! I have no idea where he came up with that one!

Lol about the "Mama's penis" thing; my ds used to say the same.
post #11 of 83
We just got "The Billy Goats Gruff" from the library. Dd likes it a lot, and constructed a bridge out of blocks, and her little farm animals as the characters. Chicken was the troll, pig was the smallest billy goat, rabbit was the next billy goat, the goat was the biggest billy goat.

So we acted it out, me as troll, dd as the goats. First the pig -- "you can't eat me, I'm too little!" (in a very sweet little voice.) Then the goat (got her order mixed up) -- "you can't eat me, I'm too... big!" Then the rabbit -- "you can't eat me, I'm too... too... I'm too medium!!"

post #12 of 83
MEDIUM - that's cute !!
post #13 of 83
Well, dd didn't say this to me, but....recently, we were out at a restaurant, and the waitress came to the table to ask if we needed anything else. We all said no. Dd said "Yes!" The waitress asked her what she would like, and dd (in a very serious voice) said, "A pink balloon, please."
post #14 of 83
My dd's very funny -- we were driving along a few days ago when she looked out the window and, pointing to a Pep Boys sign, said, "Look, Mama -- it says Pee-Pee Boys!"

When I got done laughing, I corrected her and told her what it said. When we were driving along today, she pointed to the same sign and said, "Pee-Pee Boys!"

"No, hon," I said. "You know it doesn't say 'Pee-Pee Boys.' What does it really say?"

She thought a moment and then said, "Pee-pee GIRLS!"

What a hoot!
Baudelaire and dd 12-14-00
post #15 of 83
okay, spencer is 3 and the other day my grandmother was over. She picked up a candle and said "what is this?" (meaning the smell) Spencer said, "it's a candle.....can you say CAAANNNDDDLLLEE?"

I just about died!!!!! Lets see I know there are more!!

and he'll say at everything in Wal-Mart....."that's 25 bucks --MAN!"

and the strangest thing ever!! We needed to get more sand for the sandbox. He came in from outside and said "We don't need more sand, b/c you are going to marry me." I have NO idea where he got that!!

Gosh, I could think of 1000000 of these! 3 year olds make you laugh and cry from frustration sometimes too!!
post #16 of 83
These are all too funny - heheh.

our little monkey says something crazy each and every day it seems. One that really sticks out was something she told me a couple of weeks ago. I was stepping out of the shower drying off and she stared at me all quiet for a second and then proclaimed 'mama has fuzz on her vulva!' 'how'd that get there'?
post #17 of 83
:LOL kids are so funny!
One day we were in the store and the baby started to cry. Ds (3 at the time) says to me very loudly "Mommy! Pick up that baby and milk her!"
post #18 of 83
Oh yeah, and the other day the "baby" (now 2) said to me that she was not going to go on the potty, she ws going to wear diapers. Then she says "I am a princess" "Oh?" I say "Well, princess' go on the potty and wear panties". Without missing a beat she says "Okay. Then I am a baby princess". *sigh*
post #19 of 83

DD's first pun

18mo DD lifted my shirt this morning, pulled it down, lifted it back up, smiled, and said, "Peek-a-boobie." She's been saying peek-a-boo for months, so I'm sure it was deliberate.
post #20 of 83
My son (20 months) will say "A BUG!" with his most serious face on, and I'll say, "Where's a bug?" He then says "Um...in da pictures" "Um...in da light" etc. He says something different every time you ask him...the T.V., the car, the window, anything he happens to see that a bug could be on. The funniest part is him saying "Um" while getting ready to make up something :-) He also yells out "COKE!" when any waitress asks us what we want.

My niece (25 months) calls our dog Tiffany "Timothy" and says "Ewww nasty Timothy" without anyone ever telling her that Tiffany is nasty. She also calls chocolate "truck-it" which took us forever to figure out. And she says "Mermaid Man" constantly -- we have no idea where she got that one.
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