Clinic won't allow me to be in room with my 3yr old - Page 2

[WC_hapamama]

Mommy2TwoBabes, sometimes we have to put our children through unpleasant things in the best interests of their health. 3 of my 4 kids have been papoosed for various procedures... mostly suturing/dermabonding facial lacerations and 1 dental procedure. For the dental procedure, the child was given concious sedation so she doesn't remember the procedure at all. No ill affects at all.

An alternative to having your child papoosed for dental work would be to find a dentist who will sedate your child prior to exam, and to do all work under general anesthesia.

Dental health is important. You can get absesses from untreated dental problems, and a dental absess can make you very sick.

I've never been to a peds dentist that didn't allow a parent to go back, and I definitely would not take my child to a dentist that would do the work without consulting me first.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

No way is that ever happening. I wouldnt allow my young child to go back with a Dr alone why is a dentist different??

The way I see it this dentist may be a saint and would never hurt a child but this dentist may also be a very bad person and could cause major harm to your child. Why take the chance? it is not worth the risk. I dont know how anyone could allow it to happen. I dont care if my child would lay there and be good if I wasnt there and was a holy terror if I was. They can deal with it.

[freespirited]

Thanks, mamas! I can see that I am hardly alone in thinking their policy is unreasonable, and dh and I have decided we are not going to be told we can't be in the room with our baby, especially her very first visit to the dentist! No way. I also just have an odd feeling about this clinic. I think it could be one of those places where they do excessive work and overall I just feel wary of the place. I am a big believer in gut feeling. I thought about calling them in the a.m., her appt is for 10:15, and telling them I insist on being present as she is only 3 years old and this is her first time. Then if they say ok, maybe going just to hear what the dentist has to say about her teeth. If I call and they are not nice about it, then I will just cancel the appt altogether and we will wait until we can afford a private place, or take her to see dh's relative in Costa Rica who is a dentist. We usually go in December. He's not a pedi dentist but he could at least see if she has cavities or needs something done.

She doesn't seem to have any cavities. She has discoloration at the top of her two front teeth, kind of orangey looking sometimes. We have not been very good about brushing her teeth. She puts up a fight and we just have not put a lot into that, but she does have a better than average diet and no juice or soda. I would like the peace of mind of knowing, so I think I will call the clinic and see what they say about me going in with her. That is the only way I would consider allowing her to go there.

Can anyone tell me if they take x-rays on the first visit? TIA.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I think most places wait to take x rays until the child is old enough to be still on their own and understand a bit better unless there is some issue they have to see right then. I know with dd x rays were not mentioned at all when I took her in at around 18 months because she cut a extra tooth. she was 5 and went the first time because of cavities.

[WC_hapamama]

They started dental x-rays with my kiddos when they were 3. I will say that the digital x-rays make things go MUCH faster, which is easier on the kids.

[freespirited]

UPDATE - This a.m. I decided to call the clinic prior to dd's appt and discuss my feelings with them about not being able to go into the room with dd. While the receptionist didn't offer me the choice to accompany dd, she was very nice and understanding. I told her I would bring dd in, but only to have her teeth looked at and cleaned. I specified no x-rays and no work done. When I arrived, there was a big post-it note on her folder with my instructions which right away impressed me. The assistant discussed things with me and was very nice and respectful. After they checked out dd, the woman let me know that she had two cavities on her front teeth, which was what dh suspected. She said x-rays were necessary to see if there were cavities between the teeth, but she didn't push it. I told her to go ahead and do the x-rays. Turned out well, she had no decay between the teeth. Then she asked if I wanted to have the teeth filled at that time and I consented to that because up to this point, everyone had been so professional and nice, and it looked like a very decent place. Dd had done beautifully with the cleaning and x-rays so I was very pleased. Best thing is, they didn't even need to anthesize (sp) her because her cavities were so small. Her teeth looked great and she came out happy as a clam and didn't want to leave. I feel very grateful for taking her in there. The dentist even came in afterward to talk with me and was also a very kind, humble guy so far as I could tell. Overall experience was excellent. I was so pleasantly surprised at how they listened to my concerns and wishes and were not pushy about anything. There no-parent policy kinda stinks but dd did so well that I am inclined to think my absence was a good thing.

I think communication is essential in making these decisions, and the response I got was very reassuring and respectful. Had this not been the case, I would not have looked elsewhere. I am really impressed that there is a place that takes care of poor kids' teeth. I wish there would have been such a place for me when I was pregnant and on Medicaid and needed dental work! And dd came out reciting the ABC's she said she learned, and wanted to stick around the office after her procedures, so I have nothing but a positive review of Small Smiles! Thanks again for all your comments!

[mamak05]

So glad that everything went well!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I am inclined to think my absence was a good thing.

Not to be snarky but if you were not in the room with her how do you know how things went? They could have done anything to her and you would never know.

[mommy2two babes]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

Not to be snarky but if you were not in the room with her how do you know how things went? They could have done anything to her and you would never know.

: :

[freespirited]

You are right, I couldn't know for sure since I wasn't by her side the entire time, but I know that she came out happy and she didn't want to leave, and that when they were talking to me in one of the rooms, there were large windows where you could see all the kids getting the work done and since there were always parents back there in the rooms there would be about zero chance of any molestation, abuse, etc going on unseen. It was like one large room with about four stations and all the kids looked actually pretty darned comfortable. It was nothing like I had pictured it was going to be. It was a busy place and they were always calling parents back into one of the rooms where you could see all the kids getting worked on. That's why I felt ok about it. I probably should have mentioned that very important fact.

[Mamato3wild ponnie]

I took ds 31 months to 2 Dentists an they both said he needs 3 fillings..well the last was a pediatric dentist and his policy was exactly the same...i could not go back with him and they would maybe have to use the papoose...my oldest ds was 5 when i first took him to the dentist and he needed major work done and tried to hold him down physically and with the papoose and he would not let them..he came out with red marks all over him...it took 6 years for him to feal comfortable at the dentist and still i think he has reserves sometimes...so i'm scared to even put younger ds through the same thing...i guess i have to go with what my grandfather told me once..."God gave us all 2 sets of teeth..they will fall out one day...so why does it matter if they have holes in them now?" i guess he's right..i jsut dont want them to get infected or cause pain when he eats...so younger ds will not have any dental work done for quite sometime.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

..he came out with red marks all over him...it took 6 years for him to feal comfortable at the dentist and still i think he has reserves sometimes

: for your little boy that is exactly one of the things that scars me so bad about leaving them alone. Especially when they tell you oh we wont do this or that then when dc comes out they did do this or that and there is nothing you can do to fix it then.

Op if you are comfortable with that then that is great. It does sound like she was safe with the big window and parents going in and out all the time.

For me it will never happen but I am paranoid that way

[see_lisa]

I think one point to be made is that if you are not comfortable enough with your dentist to have you child be seen by them alone, why would you go there? I understand parents wanting to 'help' and be there for their childern, but if you are truely worried about the dentist (or dental staff) abusing your child in any way you shouldn't be seeing that dentist!
There are ways of making sure your child is safe in the dental chair (being in the hall out of the child view but still within eye shot) The reason some dentists want the parents to just wait out of the room is so they can have the childs undivided attention. The dentist needs to build trust with your child in order to be able to do work on them, and if you are already displaying signs of distrust in your dentist your child will pick up on this and act accordingly.
A PP said this is a "business" this is not true the is a MEDICAL facility first and foremost and the patients health (dental or otherwise) should always come first.
Just another POV
As for the restraint board, I would not be willing to have my child restrained to do dental work - ever! I can only imagine the dental phobia this would create.

[livinzoo]

As a child my brother and I went to a dentist that didn't allow parents back. They even had a separate waiting room filled with toys. When you were taken back you were sat in the chair and had the thing that holds your mouth open inserted. He would say open as wide as you can and then he would use that thing to go just a bit farther. (I have TMJ now and wonder if this is some of the reason) They would give you one of those little things you flip upside down and watch the colored liquid switch sides. After awhile they would be back. One day I remember seeing a boy in one of those papose things leaned against the wall in the corner of my room. It was really weird. He was just crying. We always needed one or two fillings and they did it the same day.

Also we were always happy when we left because we got to choose a small toy from the treasure chest.

It was weird when we changed denists we no longer had any cavities.

[*Erin*]

we have a small smiles here, and i wound up cancelling a cleaning apt i had made for my dd b/c of the same issue. they gave me some b/s about it being HIPAA laws, and they couldnt have parents in the area b/c it affects confidentiality of others. what. ever.
i told the woman there was absolutely no way i was ok with my small child recieved any kind of dental/medical treatment while out of my sight and earshot, and she protested that "you can see everything thru a window, once the cleaning is underway".
hah.
i hate that it's one of the only places who will accept medicaid, and they have such a policy. that's really unfair.
they don't have a good reputation here either, i came to find out. i read some terrible reviews about them, and heard from some other parents they were really bad.
i took dd to my dentist, who it turns out insists parents be present at all times. i sat on a stool on one side of dd and the hygenist and then the dentist sat on the other. it worked out well, dd had a great time and i am happy it won't be an issue. my dd doesnt need to be left alone with someone for her to understand that they are to be trusted. and i don't put any stock into someone, ANYONE who insists on seeing my child alone. That's a huge red flag for me.

[e.naomisandoval]

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread, just wanted to share. My 3yo just had 2 teeth pulled. The dentist said I could not be in the room. We went around and around - they think I'm quite difficult and treat me really badly but in the end I found that if the child really insisted, they'd let me in. So I said, look, let's not play this game. She will be so upset and will not allow you to work on me because we are a very close family and she's not used to strangers at all. She will be too upset by that point to work on so just start out with me in the room. They gave up and agreed. They of course kept me waiting an extra hour to punish me and gave me filthy looks and all that. And the procedure was pretty hard - I took Rescue Remedy every 10 seconds and sprayed it on my daughter's foot (don't think it helped her).