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dd lost in custody battle ... six months and i don't know how to heal - Page 3

post #41 of 50
7/2/07 at 3:56pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
If you are writing letters about your own grief, that sounds very healing. But I would write those, and then put them in a drawer just for you. Letters you actually send to your little girl will probably be most helpful to her if they are positive and upbeat and spilling over with your love for her. Tell her about the people who were in her life before she moved, funny stories, draw little pictures for her, ask her questions about how she's doing and if such-and-such is still her favorite story and has she gone swimming yet now that it's hot outside ...
oh, oops .. i wasn't clear about this. the letters i'm writing aren't for me to send to her now -- they're for her when she's grown (if she wants to see them). and, yes, for me in the mean time. sorry about the lack of clarity.
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post #42 of 50
7/2/07 at 6:30pm
You sound like you've turned a corner: way to go, Mama! Have faith in yourself--you've made it this far, and you can go all the way. One day you'll be back in your daughter's life and you will be thankful every single minute that you hung in there and fought!
post #43 of 50
7/4/07 at 6:00pm
I'm so glad to hear that you have decided to stay for your DD and to do the things necessary to get your strength back and be a part of her life. She deserves that. The stress she might feel from tension between you and ex isn't even close in the pain she feels or could feel if you don't focus on being in her life. You are her mama.. You have rights.. be strong..
post #44 of 50
7/6/07 at 7:42pm
to the OP. Keep fighting for you baby. "Fighting" doesn't have to have a bad connotation. Think of it as "triumphing"! And, please, send everything by registered mail so, as a PP said, you can prove that you tried to keep in
contact.

to those of you who have given such great advice, especially those of you in the industry.
post #45 of 50
10/19/07 at 3:46pm
I just wanted to offer you some support! This is a huge struggle you are going through and I hope that you find your way through, one step at a time, to where you and your daughter are able to openly share your love for one another. I cannot imagine the intense pain of having a child taken from me like that. It's just so sad and wrong. You are a beautiful, wonderful mother, and it really shows your character that you are trying so hard to be kind and loving after the world has been so hateful towards you. Stay strong.
post #46 of 50
10/19/07 at 5:19pm
I think you need to work on caring more about what your DD thinks of you than what your x thinks! He can hate you all he wants, and yes, that will effect your DD.

But if you fight for her, she'll understand someday that you love her and it will be easier to ask YOU about your decisions rather than getting only her dad's take on the situation. You owe it to your DD to let her hear your side, when she's ready, and to be there for her in the meantime.

IMO parents shouldn't be allowed to throw in the towel. And I don't just mean you, at all! I mean all parents. They/we should put aside our own crap and see our children as much as we can, so they know we support them. I think it's really the least we can do for these children we've been entrusted with.

Of course, it's also much easier said than done! But think about it.

mama! I'm truly sorry you're hurting and feeling hopeless!
post #47 of 50
10/19/07 at 5:29pm
"i am terrified that dd will feel abandoned. this keeps me up many nights and makes me want to just crawl in a hole and die! ...."

Then make your choices based on that and your love for her, and nothing else.
post #48 of 50
10/19/07 at 6:04pm
devilish_fetish, you've put a lot of time and effort into your post and offered some great info/resources! That's very kind.
post #49 of 50
10/19/07 at 6:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by josephine_e View Post
oh, oops .. i wasn't clear about this. the letters i'm writing aren't for me to send to her now -- they're for her when she's grown (if she wants to see them). and, yes, for me in the mean time. sorry about the lack of clarity.
So glad to hear this! Stay strong, mama! Keep writing and working through this for yourself, and stay strong for DD.
post #50 of 50
10/19/07 at 9:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrskennedy View Post
devilish_fetish, you've put a lot of time and effort into your post and offered some great info/resources! That's very kind.
i just was thinking the same thing.

that was a very thoughtful post, DF.
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