postpartum doulas: tell me what you dislike

[kangamitroo]

i find i get all wound up and passionate about the needs of postpartum mamas, and have thought about doing a postpartum doula training. however, money is tight enough already...and choosing work that does not have a steady paycheck is a little scary. (however, i know there is demand in my area, and try to trust that if i lvoe the work, themoney will come.)

that said, i would love to hear what you dislike about your work. what is the hardest aspect. also, i have a 3 year old, and i am hoping i could somehow do this work around a school schedule. is that realistic?

thanks for your help.

[Jyotsna]

I love postpartum doula care. I love helping a mama become independent, learning the ropes and eventuallybeing able to care for her baby in a confident way.What I don't like is how I feel when it is time to collect my fee. I usually am asked would I liked being paid for each day, or would I like tobe paid at the end ofthe week, and there is usually the "suggestion"that they pay at the end ofthe week.

That is my only complaint.

And yes, you can work around your kids school hours, and it helps to be flexible so that you can occassionally help a family immediately after the birth, or immediately after arrival home from the hospital. It is the scariest time for some families. After the initial day,they tend to feel much more secure in their own ability to make it through the night.

Good luck. I would personally love to do postpartum care every day. If only it was well understood in my area.

[dewi]

I'm a ppdoula since 1991 and for many years I've owned a postpartum doula service that places other doulas with clients.

I hate the feeling of walking back into my own home when it is messy and laundry needs to be done, and I need to cook dinner for my family after making a scrumptious dinner and doing laundry for a postpartum family. I solve it by keeping on top of my own household stuff when I know a due date is nearby.

Otherwise, it is deeply joyful happy work for very appreciative happy families. Sometimes you get a difficult client but you know that it will only last for a week or two.

Yes, you can work a child school schedule. PPDoula work is the perfect job for doing that.
My stated business hours are 9-4.
Learn how to be savvy with clients and invisible about your personal obligations (they really don't want to hear about it). I used to only book my clients for the mornings, most don't care, i lead the time by saying I can be there at 9:00am and I tell them how I could help them get their day started, I make breakfast and get them into a shower, go over how the night went, etc.. You try to make a sechedule for the week with the client and If they ask for some afternoons i would always say yes, and make plans for my kid to be sent on playdate afterschool or to have a babysitter do the school pickup

For the above poster dealing with money issues, if you have a set amount of hours you offer as a package such as 15 hours for $600. get half your fee as a deposit before the birth, and then bring along the invoice and a support group resources list when you visit them on the first visit. On the invoice write
"Balance due upon receipt of invoice", it solves discussing the bill.
Or you can say, when you give them the envelope "oh just make the check out to me".
If the first day is too hectic, tell them to give it to you tomorrow.

[Amydoula]

Oh this is such a great question! I just love my work (I do postpartum only). I love helping new families make this amazing transition, helping with breastfeeding, listening to their birth stories, helping them process whatever is going on, answering questions....the list goes on and on.

Things that are very hard for me:1. the financial/business aspect. People try to take advantage sometimes of my time/fee schedule etc. and it is really annoying having to insist on regular payment 2. helping families with differing views from mine on how to raise children, I do a lot of "its not my baby, its not my baby" in my head to get through sometimes......

My son is entering kindergarten in September and I will only be offering school hour care for clients starting then, I'm not sure how well this is going to go over as I do a lot of late afternoon/evening and weekend work now so I'll have to get back to you on that one. Best wishes with your work!

[kangamitroo]

these are very helpful responses. thank you for taking the time to write.

my instincts say i would love the listening aspect, supporting a mama through this time just with a listening presence. this does mean for sure there are times when i might have opinions to share...and it would be better (but challenging) to remain silent and simply listen.

as a new mom, i remember my postpartum nurse visit. i loved having her in my home, and was very sad after she left. yet i suspect she did not realize how much i wanted to cook her dinner, offer a room, invite her to move in. the company of a sympathetic and knowledgable woman was so powerful. even if i could offer a tenth of that support...

[Jyotsna]

Smile

[dewi]

Originally Posted by kangamitroo

my instincts say i would love the listening aspect, supporting a mama through this time just with a listening presence. this does mean for sure there are times when i might have opinions to share...and it would be better (but challenging) to remain silent and simply listen.

I also like this conversation. :-)

You don't have to remain silent, you are hired to be a mentor and teacher and helper, you just have to learn to use active listening and know how to teach new ideas.

More then likely you will not have a similar parenting philosophy with most clients. That is part of our job to help new parents figure out what works for them. We get to help families develop. They are new inexperienced parents still finding themselves in a new identity. Postpartum doulas are already seasoned parents and have found their own style that works for their our family. We don't want to impose our beliefs on new parents.

The best you can do as a doula is encourage clients to find their own voice and what is right for them. I have a niche practice and only work with families that plan on breastfeeding. However, many breastfeeding families have very diverse and different parenting philosophy then you would expect. How I encourage parents to hear new ideas is for me to know about breastfeeding and teach evidence based information. You can never loose when you have knowledge of reseach and studies to back up what you say and not just a bunch of "beliefs and opinions" or the newest fad book. They get to much of that from the docotrs and friends and books.

I find inexperienced new parents that are too opinioned in either direction very difficult to deal with, since they are so inexperienced they come off too rigid in their beliefs (which is not good for babies!) without any practical experience, so you work to help parents do what is best for the baby and not some prescribed thing that is in a book or a website or what a friend is doing. It really is wonderful helping parents find their own voice and what is intuitive to them and help them stop following some prescribed "philosophy"...

Teach them about human development and how to care for the emotional wellbeing of a developing newborn. Dr Sears's books does a good job teaching this.
Then usually everything else falls into place

[storychick]

I havent done much client work, mostly because I really dislike the "running my own business" part of that. The money, the accounting, the marketing. I also found it frustrating, as a PP said, to go somewhere else and do all the things I should be doing for my own family . I also want to work out of the home at least partly to have social contact, and I didnt get enough of that with one mom at a time who often spent that time doing her own thing (and rightly so).

I've worked around that by facilitating a postpartum support class instead. I get to use my teaching and research skills (I also have a masters of library service) and its more easily scheduled and I can bring my kids if I need to. The birth center does my marketing and provides a ready client base. I take donations but they just cover the cost of my snacks mostly, so I dont worry about accounting it all. I love providing the service & support to the moms, fostering that sense of community so many of us are lacking, and giving something back to the birth center.

[dewi]

Story chick,

Your dislike of the business part is how I started my doula business because I had friends like you who were also doulas and they hated the business aspect of being a postpartum doula. I was very good at it and enjoyed all of the business stuff and schmoozing. I liked connecting with resources that would refer clients to us and talking to potential clients, billing, collecting fees, answering the calls and explaining what a doula does and sending out information, then booking the clients and following up with clients to make sure they are happy with the doula andn resolving any problems.

That is how my postpartum doula business was born in 1991.
I have about 10 doulas taking bookings from my service and all of them hate the business part. They like how sensitive I am making the initial screening to match a doula witha client, then send them on the interview and confirm the bookings, bill and collect fees, then send them checks. I get a small part of the fee we charge clients and the doula get between
$25-$30 per hour. Doulas also have backup so if they need to take a day off i always go in to see the client since i no longer book clients for my self on a regualr basis.


If you lived in NYC, you could take bookings from me! :-)

Ruth