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Kids say the FUNNIEST things!! - Page 2

post #21 of 102
These are adorable! My two current faves from my girls (3 years and 19-months):

Older girl found a brand new tube of toothpaste (Weleda infant gel) in the grocery bag and went and hid and ate most of it. She spilled some in a pile and I found it. I called to her as I was cleaning it up to "discuss" it and she came in singing, "I'm bad. I'm bad. I'm bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad." All with this little tune. I said, "Yes, you are bad for eating the toothpaste AND making this mess." "No, Mom. I'm not bad! I was just singing a song called 'I'm bad.'" Now where did she get that????

The little one one day, after her sister grabbed something from her hands, turned and said, plain as day, "SISSY! Don't be ridiculous!"
post #22 of 102


My 4yr olds newest thing is to say " Oh Pickles" when she's mad or something she doesn't like happens.

post #23 of 102
My 3 yo dd had a stomach bug yesterday. She was sitting on the toilet before bed and I stayed in the bathroom with her to see if she was having any diarrhea . I asked her is everything was ok, she said "I'm fine mom, that was just a little cough that came out of my butt"!
post #24 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeannineb View Post
My 3 yo dd had a stomach bug yesterday. She was sitting on the toilet before bed and I stayed in the bathroom with her to see if she was having any diarrhea . I asked her is everything was ok, she said "I'm fine mom, that was just a little cough that came out of my butt"!
butt cough


Yesterday dd was constipated for the first time. It was pretty sad for awhile. Later that evening she came running up to me all joyful
"MAMA! I feel like I could fly! I just had a poo and it was as fat as a hamster! woo boy, now I am HUNGRY! See how skinny my belly is? Maybe you could make a big dinner with lots of food, you know; to cover the whole table? cause I am STARVING!"
post #25 of 102
As fat as a hamster OMG, that is hilarious.

DS is really into watching the Wizard of Oz, and he especially loves Munchkinland. One day he was watching it and I asked him if he wanted to go to Munchkinland, and he said, "Oh no, it's way way way too CROWDED in Munchkinland!!"

He also has said several times that his baby sister doesn't have a "'gina", she has a penis!! Ummm, OK!
post #26 of 102
Thread Starter 
My 4 and 6 year old daughters are rolling around the livingroom and dancing. My 4 year old daughter is doing alot of forward rolls, and is thrilled to discover she can do it without her hands touching the ground. So I tell her to do a backwards roll. And she says "whats that" ? I tell her to do a roll, but roll backwards, to start to roll from her bum, instead of her head.

So she stands up, and turns to try to look at her bum.. it looks weird and she does this for about 30 seconds, then cries out in exasperation "I can't do it!! My legs won't turn around the other way!"

LOL.. she thought doing in backwards meant her body being backwards..

Also, the other day my 8 and 6 year old daughters and I went for a walk through the forest. While on our walk we found some pretty cool looking stones. We were walking for over 3 hours, and for the first hour or so I must've heard "Hey mama! Look at this cool rock!" about 80 times. How many times can you look at rocks and be interested?? So I started getting weary of looking at rocks, but I didn't want to come right out and say "Ok, I don't care to look at anymore rocks" so I gave simple answers like "oh, thats cool" and feigned interest. My oldest daughter looked at me after I'd done this a few times and said "mom, we know that you don't care. We can tell when you say like "oh yay, thats cool" that you really mean "I don't care about the stupid rocks you guys"
Busted!!
I nearly fell over I was laughing so hard
post #27 of 102
Ah. DC's make me laugh all the time, and now I can't think of a single funny thing they say. Well ds calls 'binoculars' thermopulars (he's 5).
post #28 of 102
Thread Starter 
LMAO.. this might be the funniest thing I've ever seen..

My hubby wrestles with our daughters alot, has ever since they were tiny. He often pretends that he's died, so he lays there still and quiet. The older two just laugh and continue to tickle him or jump on him.

He did this the other day when he was wrestling with all three of them. He stopped moving and laid there, so I played along and said "oh no.. you guys killed Dad!" The older two moved toward him to tickle him and my youngest pushed them away horrified, said "don't touch him!" She ran over to him, kneeled beside beside his head, plugged his nose and breathed a big long breath into his mouth! My hubby sat up coughing and laughing... My 4 year old proudly told everyone that she saved him!

OMG... I haven't laughed so hard in a long time!
post #29 of 102
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by selendang View Post
Ah. DC's make me laugh all the time, and now I can't think of a single funny thing they say. Well ds calls 'binoculars' thermopulars (he's 5).
When my oldest was about 2 she started saying stuff like "this is profaggit".. we asked her over and over again to repeat herself but we could NOT figure out what the heck she was saying. One of our friends told us a few weeks later that she was saying "this is pathetic". LOL... ah, I love this thread!
post #30 of 102
When my dd, who is now 17 yo was 3 yo, she and her dad were having a conversation about mammals and how we knew what was a mammal. He told her that mammals have hair. Later that day, she came to me and said, "mommy, I don't think Grandpa is a mammal." When I told her sure he was, and why would she think he wasn't, she told me, "because grandpa doesn't have hair!" My dad was balding.
post #31 of 102
My favorite from my Kindergarten teaching days happened when we were eating a treat outside on the picnic tables. We were having a discussion about why you shouldn't look directly at the sun. One girl piped up with the most serious face you could imagine and said "You can't look right at the sun because you'll go blonde! (blind) "
I about fell off my chair.

Another came from my 3 year old who was having a tantrum int he car one day. I said we just had to go on the freeway for a little bit, and he piped up with "I don't want to go on the freeway, I want to go on the fourway!"
post #32 of 102
When we were at my MIL's wake last year, it was a very quiet, somber event. My then 3.5 yo and I were sitting with some other children. One of the children's relatives came up and the little girl asked her why she was there. The woman said she was there to see her Grandmother (MIL who had passed away).

My 3.5 yo hooks her thumb toward the front of the room where the casket is and says in a very loud voice "Well, Nana's dying to go to heaven so while she's waiting, she's up there taking a nap".
post #33 of 102
These are hilarious, thank-you.

I'm a little disturbed by dd's (4) insight this morning, but highly amused as well.

I was explaining that Hallie, the cat, was very tired, had been out all night and now just wanted to flop on my bed and be left alone.

dd's response?

"Oh! Did she have a date?"
post #34 of 102
OK this one is kind of weird! We have all been sick here, and last night, DH asked DS if he'd taken his medicine (vitamin) today. He said "No, it makes me feel clagley and burned."

Clagley? I have NO idea what that is, and burned? That is a new one!

Oh and he's not using the potty yet... yesterday I smelled poop and asked him if he pooped, and he said "It went back up in my butt."
post #35 of 102
My DD loves pretending to be a doctor.

So today my DH said "Have you noticed that the first thing she always says in a pretend doctor appt. is "Sorry I'm late?"
post #36 of 102
DD #1 to DD#2 After being told of a soon coming bath "Let's get naked like cows!"

DD#1 praying "And thank-you that mommy and daddy have teeth."
post #37 of 102
I can't think of any funnies from DS, but one from my niece comes to mind.

She was around 3 y.o. and was in the car with my sister and BIL. It was close to bed time and they were hoping she'd fall asleep before they arrived home. When she didn't fall asleep, my sister started driving around the neighborhood. My niece noticed that it was taking a long time to get home and asked why. My BIL told her that they were a little lost. My niece gave a loud sigh and said, "Will somebody hand me a map?"
post #38 of 102
When my dd was 2 she would say "I'm boring" instead of "I'm bored". Now somehow "I'm bored" means "I have a headache." It has nothing to do with her entertainment needs at all anymore!
post #39 of 102
This conversation took place as I was riding my bicycle around the neighborhood with my 4 yo DD in the child seat on the back of the bike. Out of nowhere...

DD: I wish I had three hands.

Me: Oh, really? Where would you like the third hand to be?

DD: (without missing a beat) Right in the middle of my chest.

Me: Hm. What would you do with it?

DD: Well, then I could have three dogs and scratch them all at the same time.
post #40 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaPam View Post
DD #1 to DD#2 After being told of a soon coming bath "Let's get naked like cows!"

DD#1 praying "And thank-you that mommy and daddy have teeth."
This just made me LOL!!

My DD loves to say embarrassing things that say more about DH and I than anything else...

For example:

When trying to squeeze a little dress onto her doll, she stops, huffs and exclaims, "Darnit!! This dolly's dress is such an idiot!!" (she always says this with a scowl and gruff voice, too)

She also says some pretty cute stuff, too...usually to or about her brother. Today, she had to correct him...

"Actually, D, that's not a bird, that's a chicken!"

(she's not quite 3, but man is she a kick in the pants!)
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