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Kids say the FUNNIEST things!! - Page 3

post #41 of 102
Haha... This thread is making my night! I am sick and feeling horrible but I've been laughing out loud reading all this hilarious stuff!

So I thought I'd return the favor and share a few tidbits of my own. DD isn't talking yet, but here's some funny ones from when I was little.

When I was still potty learning and in preschool, I accidentally pooped in my pants and had to borrow some clothes from another preschool boy. When my mom came to pick me up, she came up to me and asked what happened to my clothes, and I looked at her real serious and said, "Oh mom... there was a terrible fire, and all my clothes got burned!"

A school project, there was this page of questions we had to fill out and the parents eventually got to take them home and keep them. Years late I found mine.... one of the things I wrote down was that I wish I had a removable eye ball so I could keep one at home on the couch while I went to school so I could watch TV during class! Lol!
post #42 of 102
The other night, there was a lunar eclipse, and the clouds held off just long enough for us to be able to see it. I turned to my son, who will be 5 next month, and said, "Oooh, look at the moon! Isn't she neat?" He looked up, and his eyes got all big and round. Then he slammed his hands onto his hips and his brows crunched together, and he demanded loudly, "HEY!! Who bited Luna!!???!?"

Last night, 2.5-yo DD was rubbing her eyes. I said, "Are you tired, sweetie? Ready to take a nap?" (Any sleeping is taking a nap, to her.) She glared at me and said angrily, "NO!! I not sleepy!! My eyes just fall out on da floor!"
post #43 of 102
Thread Starter 
I was folding laundry in my room yesterday and called my two oldest daughters to come and put their clothes away. Georgia, my 4 year old, was playing in my room and I said to her "You know babe, I think you're old enough to put your own clothes away now"

and she said "Oh, I know that, but I've been getting so really proud of you and Dad for doing it for me!"

post #44 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sage_SS View Post
I was folding laundry in my room yesterday and called my two oldest daughters to come and put their clothes away. Georgia, my 4 year old, was playing in my room and I said to her "You know babe, I think you're old enough to put your own clothes away now"

and she said "Oh, I know that, but I've been getting so really proud of you and Dad for doing it for me!"

Ok, That is just plain brilliant!
post #45 of 102
My 2 and 4 yr olds like to play double decker bus. One of them crawls around on the floor and the other lays across the crawlers back and gets a ride, only problem.....they have to be NAKED! Yep, Naked double decker bus.

My two yr old has started looking at me when I ask for someone to get me something and saying "Mama, you got arms. And legs. And a head"
(wonder where she heard that one from?)

And....less than stellar mama moment, my 2 1/2 yr old will also jump up and down on the couch loudly screaming....DON"T SAY F*CK!!!! repeatedly.

I wonder why dh calls me mama of the year?
post #46 of 102
These are cracking me up!
post #47 of 102
My sister is doing a wonderful job of teaching my 23mo niece the right words for her body parts. One day they were watching me change my baby's diaper and my niece got very excited and exclaimed "Awww! Baby vulva!" It was adorable!
post #48 of 102
Here's some from my childhood when I lived with my aunts and grandma (Oma)-

"Oma, can you pet joggers?"
"Do you mean the kind that run on the side of the road?"
"Umm, yeah, I guess so."
"Well, if they let you."
"Oh, ok. " They didn't know that I meant Jaguars!!!

"Oma, don't eat dinner tonight!"
"Why?"
"Because aunt M said she's making Very Yucky chicken tonight!" (Teriyaki)

Aunt N at the store- "Aunt M is getting a VCR for her birthday, now don't blab to her!"
Aunt M- "Sarah, do you know what I'm getting for my birthday?"
Me- "No, I can't blab to you."
Aunt M- "What does blab mean?"
Me- "Blab means you can't tell someone that they're getting a new vcr for their birthday."
Whoops!

When my grandma went out by herself, she would tell me she was going to Timbuktu, and I couldn't come because I didn't have the right kind of clothes. So, when we were shopping, I found a bunch of the animal/ safari type print that she wore a lot, and since she was on the other side of the store, I yelled out, "I found them, heeere's the clothes to go to Timbuktu in!"

And looking at a display of white earrings... "Oh look! Nurses earrings!"


Ok, here's my favorite from my little sister. This is when I babysat her at 2.5 yo.
"NOO, No, don't turn off the TV! Television is the key of knowledge!"

I still have no idea where she got that at 2!
post #49 of 102
As we are coming down the stairs the other morning I sneezed.

My 4.5 yo DS says "Mom, that was LOUD!"

so I ask, "Monkey, what do you say when someone sneezes?"

DS's reply: "Goddam*it Mommy"


Dam*it, Bless you, whatever.
post #50 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cujobunny View Post
He also calls Union Station (our main train/subway station here) Minion Station
He's too right on that one, especially if he's been there at rush hour.
post #51 of 102
Thread Starter 
So Georgia, said 4 year old, says to me "mama when you tell me to clean my room, my ears don't listen because I don't want them too. Plus my face gets really mad, so don't ask me to do that ok?"
post #52 of 102
I have a 5 yr old in my care who calls icecream 'arsecream'.
post #53 of 102
When my nephew was 5 or 6 he insisted he was going to marry my daughter. He had it all worked out. He was going to drive an ice cream truck and at night he would come home to Izzy for "a little huggy, little kissy, then back to the truck"....heh heh heh
post #54 of 102
My 2.5-yo DD was sitting at the table the other day, eating orange slices. She'd apparently gotten a bite of peel in one, and didn't like the bitter taste, and decided she wanted the peel removed from her remaining oranges. So she held one up to me and requested... "Mama, take the ass off!"

post #55 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by jemama View Post
When my nephew was 5 or 6 he insisted he was going to marry my daughter. He had it all worked out. He was going to drive an ice cream truck and at night he would come home to Izzy for "a little huggy, little kissy, then back to the truck"....heh heh heh
At least the little man has a plan for supporting his woman!!!
post #56 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeekingSerenity View Post
My 2.5-yo DD was sitting at the table the other day, eating orange slices. She'd apparently gotten a bite of peel in one, and didn't like the bitter taste, and decided she wanted the peel removed from her remaining oranges. So she held one up to me and requested... "Mama, take the ass off!"


omg...chai...all over the place
post #57 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sage_SS View Post
So Georgia, said 4 year old, says to me "mama when you tell me to clean my room, my ears don't listen because I don't want them too. Plus my face gets really mad, so don't ask me to do that ok?"
LOL That's very smart! I'm gonna try that on dh.
post #58 of 102
My DS was telling me all about General George Washington and the Civilutionary War.

A few months ago he told me that "it just isn't home sweet home if you can't take off your pants" (he usually takes him off within minutes of arriving home)
post #59 of 102
This came from my 24-yo stepdaughter... she has recently started helping her BF raise his 6-yo daughter, Yazmeen.

Quote:
Last night Yaz was in the bath and I was doing my homework in the living room. She was singing and talking to herself like she normally does and what I overheard totally cracked me up:

"Azul es blue en English. Muy Bien!...Rojo es red en English. Muy Bien!....BRLEBRLEHEH ((*gurgling bubbles in the water*)) means......no I'm just messing with you...that doesn't mean anything....Verde es green en English. Muy Bien!!"
:
post #60 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by BunnySlippers View Post
I have a 5 yr old in my care who calls icecream 'arsecream'.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sage_SS View Post
When my oldest was about 2 she started saying stuff like "this is profaggit"..
Well, we are pretty "profaggit" over here too

Oh my. Note to self: Do NOT read this thread with liquid in mouth. Or when DH thinks I am working :
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