After I posted the other day I went and got a pregnancy test and a couple different kinds of pacifiers right away. I'm not pregnant (that I know of, but we have not been careful and I really don't want to be pregnant so we're going to start). I think my biggest frustration is comfort nursing... the sensastion drives me absolutely crazy. When my breasts are full and she's chugging away nursing her is a relief and I enjoy it to some degree, but when we get to that time every night where she just wants to comfort nurse for two hours straight I want to scream. She had zero interest in the pacifiers, she looked disgusted.
Honestly, I'm a bit glad, because I really hate them (no judgement to anyone who uses them, I just don't want to use them with my children).
I do have a lot of stress and I am losing weight, and I feel like I'm having some small supply issues, in spite of what kellymom says "this doesn't mean you're having supply issues" .... or maybe she's having a huge growth spurt. I started taking fenugreek 2 weeks ago to help out with that. She is hugely fat and pees & poops plenty, so I DO have a supply. I don't feel like my weight loss is drastic or too fast, I've lost about 12 pounds in the last month using weight watchers for nursing moms (I eat all of my points and usually use my "bonus points" too). I excersize, but not excessively (we walk about 2.5-3 miles every morning and I do 5-10 minutes of free weights or floor excersizes in the afternoon). My stress is that my husband is working 70+ hours a week right now. He usually works 60 and not having Sundays off just really, really sucks.
Anyway, I downloaded Ms. Pacman for my phone and I play that when I'm nursing her so I have something to distract me, it seems to help a bit.
I'm considering pumping part time or EPing, but I worry that I'll lose my supply and it will all go downhill from there. I'm just trying to stick with it for now, and set small goals like the pp said. I'm telling myself I *can* quit any time, if I really need to. A non-mom friend of mine (because, REALLY, moms can be so hard on eachother) pointed out that my mental health is just as important as anyone else's health in my family.
Thanks for all of the comments and support ... keep them coming, I need it!