Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Education › Learning at Home and Beyond › so if the whole socialization issue is a crock, why so many classes?
New Posts  All Forums:
 

so if the whole socialization issue is a crock, why so many classes? - Page 2

post #21 of 52
6/20/07 at 5:26pm
LOL, I did think it was response: But I wasn't upset or anything!

You may also like:

Sitting or Squatting: What's Really Best in the Bathroom?
There Is Not Always a "Fix" For the Difficult Child
10 Things You Don't Need For a New Baby
post #22 of 52
6/20/07 at 5:26pm
Thread Starter 
btw for those of you with kiddos under 5, do they really ask for the classes? or do you just try to expose them to stuff? (my oldest is only 3 right now and I can't imgaine him asking to take any sort of specific class right now on his own) I picked suzuki because I have planned for both to take lessons since before they were conceived though! if they hate it I won't push it.
post #23 of 52
6/20/07 at 5:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowmoon View Post
btw for those of you with kiddos under 5, do they really ask for the classes? or do you just try to expose them to stuff? (my oldest is only 3 right now and I can't imgaine him asking to take any sort of specific class right now on his own) I picked suzuki because I have planned for both to take lessons since before they were conceived though! if they hate it I won't push it.
Mine didn't. I picked gymnastics and dance (ballet-oriented, but really just a fun movement class) for her because she needed some extra exercise, and based on her personality, I thought she'd find them fun. I was right about gymnastics--the jury's still out on dance Same thing with theater. She's very expressive, loves to make up and act out dramatic stories etc., so I asked her if she might like to try a theater program. If she does and hates it, no problem. If she does and loves it, great!
post #24 of 52
6/20/07 at 5:54pm
"Home" schooling is such a misnomer for us. Though much of our time is spent hanging out at home, we definintely prefer being out in the world. The classes and lessons my kids take are all loved and highly anticipated. None of them are anything like what goes on in a school. The homeschool classes are laid back, fun, and short so it leaves plenty of time for all the kids to play outside together. We do maybe 2 homeschool group classes/get-togethers a week. And the dancing classes my kids take are once a week (except dd-10 who holds dancing as a major passion and takes about 10 hrs a week, in addition to weekend competitions, tri-state performances, and a weekly vocal lesson). It's all about their choices. I find we have to usually carefully pick and choose and even scale back since they want to be a part of so much!
post #25 of 52
6/20/07 at 6:01pm
I think a lot of homeschoolers are very overscheduled.

that said i have been doing this long enough to se that the majority of the people participating in so many of these homeschool group offerings are mothers of preschoolers nd yuonger elementry school students. the pattern has gone that most people find balance when their oldest is about 8 andlearn that just because the homeschool group is offering it doesn't mean they have to participate.
post #26 of 52
6/20/07 at 6:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowmoon View Post
btw for those of you with kiddos under 5, do they really ask for the classes? or do you just try to expose them to stuff? (my oldest is only 3 right now and I can't imgaine him asking to take any sort of specific class right now on his own) I picked suzuki because I have planned for both to take lessons since before they were conceived though! if they hate it I won't push it.
The only class things dh and I ever did when our children were little like that were Parent/Child gorups. Music Together or Gymboree type thingies etc.

That said, I did work for several years, so my older children did go to preschool.
post #27 of 52
6/20/07 at 6:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Citymomx3 View Post
"Home" schooling is such a misnomer for us. Though much of our time is spent hanging out at home, we definintely prefer being out in the world. The classes and lessons my kids take are all loved and highly anticipated. None of them are anything like what goes on in a school. The homeschool classes are laid back, fun, and short so it leaves plenty of time for all the kids to play outside together. We do maybe 2 homeschool group classes/get-togethers a week. And the dancing classes my kids take are once a week (except dd-10 who holds dancing as a major passion and takes about 10 hrs a week, in addition to weekend competitions, tri-state performances, and a weekly vocal lesson). It's all about their choices. I find we have to usually carefully pick and choose and even scale back since they want to be a part of so much!
I am wondering is this is a Northeast/city thing? There is so much to do in places like NYC and other cities, I think we forget maybe other areas don't have as much to choose from?

I also have to say "Hold on, Nellie" to my kids at times. There are lots of really intereting things to choose from.
post #28 of 52
6/20/07 at 6:14pm
Thread Starter 
it will be interesting to see how my kids interact in a "class" type setting as the suzuki lessons include 1 private lesson then 1 group lesson per week (we'll do ours at the montessori school where my friend works).

we are kind of in the boonies. there is gymnatics,4h and tae kwon do and some summer programs, that's about it though other than music lessons unless I drive 65 miles away to the next major city! there's no playgroups around either.
post #29 of 52
6/20/07 at 6:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyka View Post
I think a lot of homeschoolers are very overscheduled.
I think families should decide for themselves what 'over-scheduled' means to them.

Everybody has an opinion on other people's lives and how they should be lived. I don't get that at all.
post #30 of 52
6/20/07 at 6:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowmoon View Post
Iif the whole socialization arguement is a crock why so many classes?
Because it's not about socialization. When my kids take classes, it's because the class is about something they enjoy doing.

dm
post #31 of 52
6/20/07 at 6:47pm
Ds does activities and classes because he wants to.

When he was younger I did have him in acting classes as his major outside activity. He didn't necessarily ask to do these classes, it was mostly just a way to meet other kids and have fun (really play oriented classes) where he could be appreciated for being who he is, rather than punished, like when he was in ps, for being excitable, imaginative and noisy.

As he reached his teens, he's a lot more interested in doing outside activities and will ask for and arrange for stuff himself. This summer he's doing football, and is looking forward to (hopefully) playing rugby, lacrosse and wrestling on a high school team (if the high school will allow an hs student to play.)

He got bored with the acting classes for a while, but now he's old enough to do the teen division courses and has been looking forward for a long time to doing an improv class and, maybe, auditioning for the improv troupe.

He wants to do sea cadets because they will teach him marksmanship (with bb guns, thankfully, this kid hurts himself walking!), they have cool summer camp opportunities, and he's very interested in military history/weapons/tactics.

At his age now, the outside activities are not so much about exposing him to new things, or keeping him busy, as about him pursuing his own interests and likes more deeply. There are a few things I would like him to study (a musical instrument, French) but he's not terribly interested, so there's no point in me spending the money on it at the moment.

One activity I always insisted on was swimming, since we live a block from a major river and several local kids have drowned in the past decade only a few blocks from here. Once ds got to the point where he felt competent and safe in the water, and had reached a fairly proficient swimming level, I let him drop the classes. He never really enjoyed them, but that was a safety thing.

He's done other activities throught the Y over the years, and has been able to discover what kinds of things he loves (really aggresive sports, stand up comedy) and what kinds of things that all his friends love but that he hates (soccer, scouting) and he's fine with that.

As other posters have touched on, when ds was in school, we didn't do any outside activities, because we didn't have time and he was too tired, so all the classes and stuff we've done since hsing have been because we finally have a chance to!
post #32 of 52
6/20/07 at 7:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowmoon View Post
btw for those of you with kiddos under 5, do they really ask for the classes? or do you just try to expose them to stuff? (my oldest is only 3 right now and I can't imgaine him asking to take any sort of specific class right now on his own) I picked suzuki because I have planned for both to take lessons since before they were conceived though! if they hate it I won't push it.

My DD (3.5) hasn't asked for any classes. I typically choose a class based on what I think might interest her. She had taken Music Together classes for over 2 yrs & I could see that she just wasn't enjoying it like she used to. So I asked her if she'd like to do music again or try gymnastics. She chose gymnastics & she loves it. In fact, she enjoys it so much I signed her up for the summer camp & she's thrilled. In a few weeks she'll start swimming. She didn't exactly come out & ask for swimminglessons but she did say "I wnat to swim out to the floating raft Mama." So we discussed what she'd need to do in order to be able to attain her goal & that would be swimming lessons.

That being said, I can see how when DS gets older & wants to do certain things we may have to scale back on some activities. At this age (3.5 & 20 mos) I think spontaneous playtime is what they need most, with a few hours here & there for classes. For us it certainly doesn't come anywhere close to overscheduling.
post #33 of 52
6/20/07 at 7:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowmoon View Post
I am exhausted reading about some folk's homeschool groups and outside activities. are they truly necessary? do you think some HS families overschedule their kids?


am I missing something here? if the whole socialization arguement is a crock why so many classes? I thought the point to HS was to school at HOME. does anyone NOT do any extra outside classes?
At the moment we're doing a lot because I'm trying to get to know people. I expect that once we're a bit more established, we'll rely less on organized activities. We only have one sports activity per kid this summer, but we're doing a lot of park day activities and field trips. I like to have something out of the house 2-4 days a week. I need at least one week day at home to do house stuff, but if we don't get out at least twice a week, my little extrovert goes a little nuts.

My kids don't need to spend time with other kids to learn social skills, but I do think some interaction with peers is important to help them practice their social skills. Besides, my kids LIKE playing with other kids, and stuff like home school groups help us find other kids who are around during the day.

You asked about what folks do with kids under the age of 5-- I liked to sign my kids up for something active and indoors while the weather is lousy (this used to be during the hot hot summer, now we've moved and it's during the LOOOOONG cold winter). My girls also took dance classes (love the little tutus!), and sunday school. Honestly, I don't think there's much social activity in these classes-- the kids only seem to interact with the teacher. I don't love the mommy&me classes, so I tend to wait till they're old enough for drop off classes. :

ZM
post #34 of 52
6/20/07 at 7:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowmoon View Post
btw for those of you with kiddos under 5, do they really ask for the classes? or do you just try to expose them to stuff? (my oldest is only 3 right now and I can't imgaine him asking to take any sort of specific class right now on his own) I picked suzuki because I have planned for both to take lessons since before they were conceived though! if they hate it I won't push it.
We didn't do any class type of things until DD1 was 3.75y. I was not ready then and had not planned on signing her up for anything, but then the neighbor girl started dance, and talked to DD1 about it. DD1 would watch her in her dance outfit get in the car and she asked to go to dance, and kept asking. So I signed her up and she LOVED it. And this is a child is is very reserved around strangers, she tends to hang back around me, this was the first time she had ever left me regularly. She very happily did dance all year and then performed in a recital in front of a packed crowd and asked me when she could take dance again.


She is 4.5 now and we have a packed summer full of activities, I only did a busy summer because we had been housebound all fall/winter/spring with DD2's health issues. We have swimming all summer, a 4 week gymnastics class, a 4 week Spanish class, 4 weeks of baseball, then homeschool group and also the summer reading program at the library we go to. : It has been really good for us, I can't and won't do this all the time though.
post #35 of 52
6/20/07 at 8:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowmoon View Post
are they truly necessary?
It depends on how you define *necessary.* I think that the things my kids are in are wonderful for them, but they could live without them.

Quote:
do you think some HS families overschedule their kids?
yes, esp. people who are new to homeschooling. Then they crash and burn, then they find their happy medium. The happy medium is different for different families.

Quote:
I don't see us doing many more classes until they are older and can choose for themselves.
Some of us have much older kids than you. My kids are 9 and 10. When they were under 5, I usually had them in 1 class per week. I picked something out that I thought they would enjoy. They did lots of little parks and rec classes on all sorts of topics from pottery to tap dancing. It was fun.

Quote:
if the whole socialization arguement is a crock why so many classes?
I find the notion that kids need to attend school to be socialized a crock. However, being around other people is a lot of fun. Far more fun when it is based on an acitivity that you want to be doing. We homeschool for the freedom.

Quote:
Originally Posted by UUMom View Post
I am wondering is this is a Northeast/city thing? There is so much to do in places like NYC and other cities, I think we forget maybe other areas don't have as much to choose from?
We've lived all over, but never in NY. The city we were the most prone to overscheduling was Tucson AZ because there were just so many wonderful things to choose from! It was hard to say no because everything sounded like such good fun.
post #36 of 52
6/20/07 at 8:46pm
Because the kids want to. For DS it IS about socialization, he loves having *teammates* : but he also loves the sport (soccer). He wouldn't be happy on a very competitive team. He loves doing informal things with other kids too, like park days and such. For DD it's more about loving the sport and putting up with they drama She just loves to cheer and doesn't care if her squad comes in first or fifth. She also loves art and participates in something artsy every year.

I did sign them up for things when they were under 5, summer crafts for DD and tennis for DS. Although they didn't ask specifically, I always asked them if they wanted to do the activities and then figured we would bail if they hated it. They always enjoyed themselves and kept it up through the 6-8wk session, probably because I tried to pick something I felt they would really enjoy. Last year was the first year DS asked for something specific and it was *soccer, on a team, with a uniform and a score.* LOL!
post #37 of 52
6/20/07 at 8:59pm
Your kids are only 2 and 3yo. Their social needs are WAY different than the social needs of an 11yo.

The point of homeschooling is to meet the child's needs without attending school- not to avoid socializing them.

The reason the "socialization" myth is just a myth is because kids don't need school to be social, and in fact the kind of socialiation kids get in school isn't always healthy.

DD2 attends about 6 HS events a month- some weeks we don't do any at all, other weeks we do 2 or 3. One week we almost did 4 but my car died and I couldn't get her there, and it worked out better anyway because the week was overwhelming. The local HS group tends to have 3 or 4 events every week. Basically, she signs up for those events (some classes, some just social) that interest her, and we skip the ones that don't interest her.

There's a huge difference between going to classes (with parents present) for 3 hours 2 or 3 days a week, and being in school 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, with one teacher "parenting" 25 kids.
post #38 of 52
6/20/07 at 9:07pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post



We've lived all over, but never in NY. The city we were the most prone to overscheduling was Tucson AZ because there were just so many wonderful things to choose from! It was hard to say no because everything sounded like such good fun.
funny this is my region.
post #39 of 52
6/20/07 at 10:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowmoon View Post
funny this is my region.
You are so lucky! It is a fabulous place to live and to homeschool!!!! Enjoy it!
post #40 of 52
6/20/07 at 11:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post


We've lived all over, but never in NY. The city we were the most prone to overscheduling was Tucson AZ because there were just so many wonderful things to choose from! It was hard to say no because everything sounded like such good fun.

I've lived in CA, but not AZ.

It's hard enough for my kiddies to pick and choose here in NE.

I wish wish wish that my kids wished to hang at home all summer. lol

It would be so much cheaper and easier. he he.
New Posts  All Forums:
 
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Learning at Home and Beyond

You may also like:

Sitting or Squatting: What's Really Best in the Bathroom?
There Is Not Always a "Fix" For the Difficult Child
10 Things You Don't Need For a New Baby
Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Education › Learning at Home and Beyond › so if the whole socialization issue is a crock, why so many classes?