OK...I have a real "winner" here.
It's a book called "My Napoleon". I have NO IDEA how it got in my house. I'm guessing it was a yard sale gift from my stepmother. I actually had to hide it so my daughter wouldn't ask me to read it anymore. Apparently it's a story based on true excerpts from a young girls journal that was published in 1855 about napoleans visit to her house. And yes..it is a children's book...
So..here goes...just to start..on the inside cover flap it begins with a poem as follows:
Baby, baby, naughty baby,
hush you squalling thing I say.
Peace this moment, peace or maybe
Bonaparte will pass this way
Baby, Baby, if he hears you
As he gallops past the house,
limb from limb at once he'll tear you
just as pussy tears a mouse.
Ok...shall we continue..
It starts out with napolean arriving at Betsy's house where he proceeds to tease, terrorize, pinch, kiss, chase her. At one point he shows her a machine for making ice then "he put a lump of freezing ice into my mouth an then laughed to see my face as I spat it all down my dress". Betsy then decides to seek revenge by pushing him into a pricky pear bush. But...uh oh...papa finds out about her revenge and punishes her by locking her in the cellar all night with the rats. She lets out her frustration by breaking all of her father's red wine bottles until he comes back in the morning and lets her out.
There's also a nice part where she gets sick on the floor after Napolean feeds her to many sugar bonbons.
When I first read this to my DD. I had to keep skipping pages and changing words since I hadn't actually looked through it before I read it.
The back cover says it is a book that deals sensitively with the realities of childhood, offering a look at the ways that children themselves find to cope.
Ahhh...thought you ladies might enjoy that one. Needless to say, I believe that is my least favorite children's book.