How can I process a difficult labor and birth? - Page 2

[pixiewytch]

OP, I'm not glad you were "taken down a notch" as you put it but sometimes I feel isolated by so many positive birth stories I read about how joyous and ecstatic labor can be. I did everything possible to prepare for my HBAC. I got the mw, the doula, read all the grassroots childbirth books, came up with a birthing plan, and so forth, all to no avail. I had a horrendous 24 hr labor with no relief, ecstasy, or spiritual awakening which ended with another c/s. That was 7 mos. ago and I am still processing it. I'm not depressed per se but often times on boards like this I don't know where I fit in. I feel like a failure when so many women describe their beautiful birthing experiences like the baby just fell out and they worked through the pain like a lovely creative visualization. It just wasn't like that for me, as much as I wanted it to be and sometimes reading those stories makes me feel inferior.

[nadia105]

Pixiewytch, I am so sorry that you had that experience . AS pps said, it is really hard when you do all the 'right' things and don't end up with the experience that you were planning and hoping for. There is no way that you are inferior to those that have had the easy, ecstatic experiences. You did everything you could to prepare for a smooth birth and it didn't happen that way. You got through it and that makes you very strong.

Birthing ds took every single ounce of strength that I had and it really opened my eyes to how little you can control birth. After the perfect birth with #2, I was confident that I had figured out how to have an easy, relatively painless birth and that I would always have an experience like that when I gave birth again. Unfortunately I found out that it doesn't always work that way.

[anne1006]

I know how you feel too. I was induced, ended up pushing in bed with stirrups and a 4th degree tear. I was so discombobulated by the end that when I got to hold him it was like seeing a little alien stranger and I didn't know what to do with. It was horrible. The worst was that they said no more vaginal deliveries and now I'm 11 wks with #2 and I really want a natural childbirth. I've been doing my research and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna go vaginally, but until that is over and successful, I don't think I can get over feeling betrayed by my body and health care providers. Everyone just says "Just be happy because you both were fine".......well yeah.....but just because no one died doesn't mean it was a good experience. We can never get back and change the day our kids were born, but we can find peace with time. Never feel alone!