Originally Posted by waiflywaif
What I object to is the assertion (made by someone else) that teaching kids to accept what they're given is somehow socializing them to accept injustice. That's just not true.
Well I guess we should have just told all those black people in the south in the 1940's and 1950's and 1960's that they Get What They Get and they Shouldn't Throw A Fit, when they Threw A Fit about segregation... separate drinking fountains... separate bars... separate schools... Just accept what you're given.
Just think about it a minute. Telling a kid, "Don't throw a fit about what you're given, just accept it," is going to be the same to them as, "Don't be upset
about what you're given." Kids can't differentiate nuances in language like adults can. So when we tell them and have them repeat a hundred times a day, "Don't throw a fit, you get what you get and you don't throw a fit, don't throw a fit over what you're given, just deal with it..." over and over... they WILL internalize that. So then later, when the little girls grow up and are handed paychecks 13-30% lower than their male counterparts ~~ well, they should be happy they're getting a paycheck at all. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. Who cares if they're paid less? And if a doctor won't prescribe you birth control ~ so what? You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. And when the office manager won't hire the disabled man because he looks funny, despite the quality of his work ~~ well, he shouldn't throw a fit. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit.
Kids are sponges, and will soak up every message you send them. So while you can sit here and say blithely, well, it's not the same thing ~~ to a child, yes it is. And I think that core idea will stick with them.
And I also think it's the very last thing we need to be teaching our kids right now, because they're growing up in a world rife with social injustice. They need to learn that if something is unfair, they ought recognize it and deal with it.
This doesn't necessarily mean throwing a tantrum (I don't put up with tantrums either, and it's a surefire way to NOT get your way, in my home anyway) ~ but certainly, they need to be given the opportunity to deal with a problem or what they perceive to be something unfair or unequal. And I don't see this process happening at all in schools and daycares where they're repeating this like a mantra all day ~~ it's just a way to avoid confrontation with the child, to shut them up and send them on their way.