post #21 of 21
6/24/07 at 11:50am
My first dd sounds a lot like your dd. She wasn't as slow with the gross motor skills (although somewhat behind her peers) but she was way, way, way ahead verbally. I think the verbal edge helps to divert the tantrums. She can express herself, and I think not being able to express oneself is what contributes to tantrums. With dd1 I waited forever for that, "I do it myself" stage. It never happened. I carried her a lot more/for a lot longer than with dd2. I also put shoes and socks on for her (though she was capable). She still doesn't have the same fine-motor skills that her younger sister has.

And then I had dd2 and I learned what a REAL tantrum was. She cannot be distracted, re-directed, or head-off at the pass. She WOULD scream for an hour at the bottom of the stairs. I don't give into tantrums, we talk them through. And sometimes we just wait-em out.

With your dd, have you asked her why she needs to be carried? Also, with my dd2 when she asks to be carried (very rarely) and I can't (I'm really pregnant right now) I ask her to carry ME. I pretend to get on her back and say, okay, Mama is tired, let's go. Or we play train up the stairs - do any of these game-type things work with her or is she too clever?

I think you carry her until you really can't/can't stand it any more, then discuss it at a time when it is not an issue.