5 y.o. Lying

[~Megan~]

I made dd lunch which included a Portabella Gardenburger.

She loved it a few days ago when I made them but now that she knows they have rice in them claims they are gross.

I was on the couch nursing little brother to sleep when she came over and said she ate all her food. So I asked her to come over and tell me what actually happened (I knew she hadn't eaten the whole thing in less than a minute). She admitted to throwing it away.

For the time being I took away her privileges and asked her to lay on her bed. I also told her I'd be making her another burger to eat.

What would you do in this situation?

I'm getting tired of the lies and stretching the truth (ie. "I accidentally....[add in whatever she did and got caught doing]")

[LilyGrace]

I've noticed stages of lying. A 2-3yo will think that if they say it, it will be true. A 4-6yo lives more in fantasy world - I *wish* it was true, and it *could* be.

I really don't take much notice of lying at these ages because it's not meant to hurt, but to protect. They don't want to get into trouble and most times is silly fantasy. I remove that aspect of trouble - I don't ask questions I know the answer to, but present it as fact and work from there. For impromptu lies, I offer a pad of paper or a notebook, and we can make up a story. I got a wonderful one about a shark coming into the midwest to eat a neighbor (who was on vacation) from my 5yo a few weeks ago. He's starting to recognise the difference more and it's even shown in his book taste - he wants to check out non-fiction right now, having identified the difference between the two.

[hottmama]

My 4.5 yr. old has been lying a lot lately, and I'm trying to impress upon him the importance of telling the truth. Sadly, I assume he's lying much of the time now. For example, the neighborhood we just moved to is very safe, car-free, and full of kids. So he plays outside all the time and when I notice him with toys/bikes/etc. that aren't ours, I ask where he got it and he always tells me that "they told me I could ride it!" which I KNOW is not true 20x a day (sometimes it is, but often he just wishes it was).
I'd love to hear what's worked for other people. For now I just double check everything he says (did he really eat all his food? did the kid next door really say he could use their scooter? etc).

[LookMommy!]

I'm not sure I understand why you would make her another burger when she didn't like the first one?

If her only options were lie, or eat something "yucky", I can't blame her.

I try to stress to my child how hard it is to tell the truth, and I won't be angry if she tells me the truth, but I will be disappointed if she lies. Also, that lying makes her into a liar.

I don't expect perfection, just progress.

[~Megan~]

Originally Posted by LookMommy!

I'm not sure I understand why you would make her another burger when she didn't like the first one?

If her only options were lie, or eat something "yucky", I can't blame her.

I try to stress to my child how hard it is to tell the truth, and I won't be angry if she tells me the truth, but I will be disappointed if she lies. Also, that lying makes her into a liar.

I don't expect perfection, just progress.

She threw the burger away because she didn't want to eat it. Not because she doesn't like it. The rule here is if you eat a reasonable amount of your lunch then when its snack time you can have a snack. She wanted to skip over lunch and get a snack.

[sanguine_speed]

I am clueless really when it comes to the lying issue; my 6 year old is there too and I'm not sure what to do.
However, if you wanted to address the food issue, I would suggest Ellyn Satter's books: Child of Mine and How to Get Your Kid to Eat...But Not Too Much. It sounds like your child is lying and sneaking around the topic of food, and does it worry you where that might lead? If not, please ignore my suggestion .