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my beautiful long haired...son?  

post #1 of 95
6/29/03 at 2:36pm
Thread Starter 
for some reason or another we have never cut our sons hair. he is four now and his hair is straight and blonde. i often ask him if he likes long hair, or if he would prefer short hair like his daddy and he always says he likes his long hair and does not want it cut. i am constantly amazed by not only children thinking he is a girl but also adults. whats more is the way children and adults alike act incredulous when we politely correct them. they honestly have a hard time believing us! our son is solidly built and doesnt usually wear clothes that would be considered "girly" and of course to me
his personality is wonderfully balanced. i just get so so pissed when people think we are lying. why would we? i guess we know that long haired little boys are not the norm in this backwater town
post #2 of 95
6/29/03 at 2:50pm
Natalie Merchant rocks!

I always let my ds wear his hear however he wants at age 3-4 he had a mullet. Trust me this was not my idea but, it was cute. Now at 7 he likes his hair super short because it keeps him cool and we don't have to fuss with it much.

I'm sorry people don't understand your ds hair. Let him choose and just let people's comments roll off your back. Seeing a little boy with long hair would not bother me.
post #3 of 95
6/29/03 at 5:58pm
We have the same problem here! Our son is 16 months old and has always had a headful of sandy colored hair. Especially in recent weeks, we've been getting a lot of "Oh, your little girl is so pretty," or, "she's so cute!" I just brush it off with, "Yes, he's a handsome guy," or sometimes if I don't want to deal with it, "Thank you." Sometimes when I point out that my child is in fact, a boy, I get "He needs a haircut." So, I don't have any advice, but we can commiserate!@

rachel & mylo
post #4 of 95
6/29/03 at 6:10pm
i know how you feel. joe is four too & his hair is straight, light brown, about to his shoulders. he does NOT want it cut, i have been trimming his bangs myself. many times i hear, she is so cute, i'm like, he's a BOY! he wears very boyish clothes, i don't get people! good for you for letting your son choose.
post #5 of 95
6/29/03 at 7:45pm
Y'know, it is just really hard sometimes to tell what gender a child is.

We always got people thinking DD was a boy, even sometimes when she was wearing pink! I don't take it personally, I've never minded, and if people apologize I just say "oh don't be silly! it's hard to tell at this age!".

I have made the same mistake myself. I think it's great that you are letting your son wear his hair the way he wants. I think if you don't react negatively to others mistaking him for a girl, it shouldn't matter to him, either.
post #6 of 95
6/29/03 at 8:06pm
I have a 2 year old boy with long, blond hair. His birth parents have asked that I don't cut it because they think it will curl (it hasn't). I will be able to adopt him and will get to make my own choice at some point. It's hard, though, because I love the long hair on him and he is (no bias involved.) GORGEOUS! He's just such a beautiful little person. Everyone ALWAYS thinks he's a girl.

The problem is that I have all boys and some people think that I have his hair long because I want a girl. If I want to adopt a girl next I will. I love my boys and, at this point, have no major interest in a girl. I just love the long hair. I've known other little boys with long hair and they just look gorgeous. As soon as he can choose it'll be up to him, but I've got awhile before that happens. I wish I knew what to do. When people say "she's beautiful" or whatever i sometimes nod or say, yes he is or whatever. I don't mind him being mistaken for a girl because I think so much subtle gender stereotyping goes on for little kids I don't mind if he gets girl messages as well as boy ones. I just wish people didn't think I was trying to make him something he's not
post #7 of 95
6/29/03 at 9:11pm
My son Hayden (soon 5) decided at Christmas time not to have anymore haircuts. It's just past his neck in the back and down to his cheeks in the front. It's really no big deal for us, it looks good and it is *HIS* hair after all I too am amazed at people's reactions to him ~ people I hold near and dear feel compelled to make comment about his hair (for goodness sakes, it's HAIR people!!). Last week, a 6-7 year old boy came up to me at the park to tell me, "He thinks he's a boy" *DUUUH* "That's because he *IS* a boy!" "No he's not" ~ what do I gotta do, show off his penis?? You're gonna argue with his mommy?? Hayden got sick of dealing with it and played away from the kids for a while, til they *got over it* ~ luckily they did ~ now if they could convince some grownups...

~diana
post #8 of 95
6/30/03 at 12:07am
People often comment on my beautiful long-haired son; the only thing is, I have a girl! People think she's a boy because of her clothes, and then they just assume we are some kind of freaks for not cutting "his" hair.:
post #9 of 95
6/30/03 at 1:30am
I never, ever, EVER assume gender of a child. My daughter had peachfuzz for hair until she was 2+ and no matter what ridiculous pink getup dress she'd be in people would STILL say " How old's your little boy?"

I always ask how old is your baby/ child?
post #10 of 95
6/30/03 at 1:42am

add us to this boat

our youngest ds says he wants to keep his hair long
its down on his shoulders
and he has LONG eyelashes like his daddy so everyone thinks he is a girl
and oh boy the looks we get in this good ol boy town !
post #11 of 95
6/30/03 at 1:55am
Quote:
Originally posted by sillypants
I never, ever, EVER assume gender of a child. My daughter had peachfuzz for hair until she was 2+ and no matter what ridiculous pink getup dress she'd be in people would STILL say " How old's your little boy?"
Hahaha sounds like me when I was little. I had (according to my parents and the pictures) pretty much no hair until almost 3. They were continually annoyed by people insisting I was a boy. My mother said she was always told to put those (IMO) stupid looking baby headbands on to "show" that I was a girl and she would always just ask why she should have to prove that I was a girl.

Gavin now has barely any hair as well. My SO (who had a ton of hair when he was born and is now loosing it at 33) always says the longer it takes to grow in, the longer he'll have it.

So far, the only comment we've gotten about his cute little head was some moron in the grocery store who asked him where all of his hair was. Yeah, moron, I cut it all off. :
post #12 of 95
6/30/03 at 2:15am
pass some of that beautifull long hair this way..lol My daughter is 2 & just barely has any hair

i had a rule in HS to only date guys with long hair..

Dh was long untill he cut it 2 years ago... it was time for change..

I bet all your boys are too cute
post #13 of 95
6/30/03 at 11:29am


We don't cut our boys' hair until their third birthday for religious reasons, and that has some folks all worked up. :

Though many folks in our religious path put barettes in their little boys' hair ... that we didn't do. But his hair grew so slowly that by the time we cut it (at a special party, where everyone cuts a little bit off and gives him blessings and tells stories ... and boy did he love it ...) it was really just at that annoying length where it's in his face, not long enough to be called "long."

Looking forward to DS#2's hair growing in curlier and longer, though ...
post #14 of 95
6/30/03 at 2:16pm
One of my girls was a baldy until she was quite old too. My mom sent this get up for pictures for her. It was as pink and frilly and silly with ruffly tights and headband and the THE WORKS. We were standing in line at Wal-Mart and some dough-head asks why we have our "little guy dressed so silly." I told him "SHE is getting her picture taken, today." He replied, "Well he looks like a sissy boy dressed so silly. Why don't you buy him some overall's for goodness sake?" Honestly. "Ok. I will."
:
post #15 of 95
6/30/03 at 11:17pm
I'm not going to cut my childrens' hair until they're old enough to want it cut, regardless of gender. I decided not to find out if it's a boy or a girl until birth to keep people from buying boy/girl baby clothes for me.

I cut my hair short in high school, and between that and my leather biker jacket I was always getting mistaken for a boy, but it didn't bother me too much. I enjoyed being "butch". It was a lot better than the perms and sunday dresses my mother forced on me when I was a little girl and would have preferred to just be a tomboy. I intend to let my kids be who they want to be, whether they're four or fourteen.
post #16 of 95
7/1/03 at 1:02am
I had buzz cuts until I was 10 years old. My sister, OTOH, started getting perms when she was 6.
post #17 of 95
7/1/03 at 10:04pm
I could have written this post! DS is 2 1/2 and has a beautiful head of long blond hair. We keep the bangs trimmed just above his eyes, and I occasionally trim around the other parts if he allows it, but I decidedly keep it long because frankly, it works for him. He's adorable!

People who don't know him always mistake him for a girl (ok, last week he had me paint his toenails which didn't help). It does grate sometimes. In many ways, he's the stereotypical "boy" so it always cracks me up when we're hanging out around the construction site watching the backhoes dig, and playing the air drums and guitar (yes, he's bangs his head quite nicely thankyou) and people still come up to us and tell me what a cute little girl I have. HUH?

If and when DS wants his hair cut it will be up to him. Period. Admittedly, it pains me to think of him wanting to cut that beautiful hair short, nonetheless, I will support it.
post #18 of 95
7/3/03 at 3:43am

add us

my son has extremely curly hair we have a near afro going on : we have had right from when he was a wee thing was a beautiful girl you have there and stuff like that. he's now 23 mths old and still got that head of hair, he hasn't had a haircut yet.
post #19 of 95
7/3/03 at 11:42am
Look, people are going to make gender assumptions. Its fine to go against those assumptions but don't get mad at people for doing this. As you point out, small kids do it. We are programmed to use visual cues to determine gender from an early age. A simple "Actually, he's a boy, he just loves his hair long" will probobly stop most comments.
post #20 of 95
7/5/03 at 11:19am
Here, too

At 2.5, ds has the most gorgeous (yes, no bias here, either ) golden curls. I've never cut it and won't until it becomes necessary (if tangles start to become unmanageable) or he makes the decision to cut it. It took forever for him to get hair - I'm in no hurry to get rid of it! He also has huge blue eyes and very long lashes, so people often assume he's a girl. It's unfathomable to me that anyone could make that mistake, but, I just remind myself that they don't know him as I do and that there's nothing insulting about such an assumption anyway (because being a girl is pretty darned cool).

He cracks me up sometimes, though, because he'll look in the mirror, brush his hair down over his forehead and yell, "I'm a GIRL!", then brush it back away from his face and yell, "I'm a BOY!" Don't know where he got that... funny kid
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