Concern about no vaxes around Grandparents

[AliRose]

Next month my Grandparents, (DD's Great Grandparents) will be visiting from Washington for a week. DD will be about 4 months old. My DH and I are strong advocates of selective/delayed vaxes and will possibly not have her vaxed at all(still researching this). My concern is that my Grandfather is not in very good health these days and during many of their past visits has had coughing fits. I know this doesn't mean that he had WC or has it now by any means, but I'm still worried about DD's health. I know what WC is the most dangerous before 6 months, so this adds to my worry. My Grandparents are very pro vax (they grew up in the polio era and think vaxes are the answer to all diseases) so I don't ever plan on mentioning to them our views about vaxing. However, if, when they do arrive, G Grandfather is coughing/sick, how do I tell them that I can't allow them to hold DD? The reason for their trip is to meet her! Also, if my family were to witness this exchange (DH and I hesitant about them holding/being around DD) I'm pretty sure they would hold the opinion that it is our choice not to vax, so we can't keep DD in a bubble because of it and protect her forever. They're semi supportive of our decision, but have their reservations. I am currently BF DD, do you think this may ward off any sickness/ infection? My main concern is WC, but I'd like her to stay healthy in general. Any thoughts/advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks so much!

[St. Margaret]

NAK
you know, 4 months is still young enough to refuse even a gpa who traveled to meet her, for ANY reason related to a cough-- you don't want a baby picking up any infection, not just ones there are vaxes for, you know? people who have been sick all stay away voluntarily from my baby still, going past 3 months-- plus, even if she had vaxes, immunity often takes til the 3rd at 6 months to take, so you've got all the excuses you need right there, to smooth things over if that works best for you gl!

[Plummeting]

Well....

If your grandfather is coughing when he gets there, and it's because of a contagious disease, simply not allowing him to hold the baby is not going to prevent her from catching whatever he has. They're going to be staying at your house, right? If not, they're at least going to be in the house for many hours a day, so after a day or two, your house is going to be full of whatever germs he's harboring. Plus, if he has something contagious, your grandma might have it, too, even if she isn't yet showing symptoms. Additionally, if he has something contagious, you might catch it by the time he leaves and then give it to your daughter. You can't very well refuse to allow yourself to hold her if you become ill! So I don't personally see much benefit in allowing him to come to your house, then refusing to let him hold the baby. I mean, if it happened, it would still be a good idea to limit contact, so at least the amount of pathogens to which she ws exposed would be minimized, but she would still be exposed.

I'd tell him ahead of time that your doctor has said your baby should not be around anyone with a cough that has not been diagnosed by a doctor. Say that your doctor said that babies her age are especially susceptible to serious complications from certain illnesses that cause coughing, so you want to be sure that if he has a cough, he has been seen by a doctor and you know it's not anything serious that could be transmitted to your infant. Just blame the doctor. That works very, very well with people who put a lot of faith in the medical establishment.

Oh, and I agree with what you think your family would say - you can't keep her in a bubble just because she's not vaccinated. However, you would be wise to avoid people with contagious coughs even if your DD was vaccinated. The pertussis vaccine frequently fails and there are other coughing illnesses besides pertussis that you wouldn't want your infant to catch.