Success stories

[Rivka5]

I thought it might be fun (and constructive) to have a thread in which we share recent GD moments which we are proud of, or which turned out especially well. Here's mine:

My 2-year-old is so excited about using the potty that after peeing in the potty she often wants to sit down and do it again immediately. We usually let her try, but it's a real roadblock when we're trying to get out of the house and she is insistent on waiting and waiting for a second pee to come. This morning, after she peed in the potty, I told her "Now it's time to get dressed for nursery school."

"No, I don't want to go to nursery school. I want to pee in the potty AGAIN!"

"You just did pee in the potty. You can pee in the potty again at nursery school," I suggested.

"No, I want to pee in THIS potty."

She started to get upset. This is the point at which we would normally try to reason with her - explaining that usually once you pee, the pee is used up and you have to wait a while to pee again. Or I might try to distract her and get her excited about the fun things she can do at school. But I've been trying to be more playful in my approach, and so today I tried something different.

"*I* want to pee in a chimpanzee potty, high up in a tree," I told her.
She laughed. "No, we are not going to the zoo!"
"We're not? But I want to pee in a GIRAFFE potty that's very very tall."
"No, we are not going to the zoo! We are going to nursery school."
"Nursery school? But I want to pee in a BOOK potty that's all made of books."
"No, we are not going to the bookstore! We have to go to nursery school!"
"Ohhh, nursery school! Let's get dressed - we don't have a bare bottom at nursery school!"

At this point, she was laughing and happy, and willingly came to get her diaper and clothes on. It's a small thing, but I am really pleased with how using fantasy drained the tension out of the situation for both of us.

What's been successful for you lately?

[elizawill]

the most recent success story i can think of is this morning my dd (almost 6) woke up in a very grumpy mood. i felt like whatever i said was wrong to her, so i simply said, "wait a minute...come here. what is that???" then i lifted her shirt and pretended to dig something out of her belly button. "oh yes!" i said. "you had a grumpy bug stuck on you." we both started laughing and cuddled and watched cartoons with no more grumpies.

[LynnS6]

Last Saturday, we went to the zoo. I had foolishly promised ds that we could also take the bus somewhere (he loves to ride the city bus) after we went to the zoo. Well, the zoo trip went much longer than I expected and by 5 pm, I knew I wasn't going to have the energy to do the bus trip (and it was going to majorly mess with dinner and bedtime).

So, I told him that I was sorry, I had to change my mind and that we were not going to be able to ride the bus today. He started to tantrum and lashed out at me. I held his arms, directed him to a bench where we could sit down and I held him. He cried for a bit, I said "you are really disappointed. You sound very mad at me." he then demanded "Then next weekend we HAVE to ride the bus!" I responded to the sentiment, not the tone, and said "we can do that when we get back from our trip." "And we have to ride it from the beginning of the route!" I said "oh, you want to ride it from the beginning of the route?" "Yes." "Well, where does it start?" "downtown". "We can do that when we ride the bus."

He was then content for the rest of the trip to the zoo, and didn't mention it or whine the rest of the evening.

If I had simply made him 'live with it', not acknowledged his feelings, or responded to his tone, rather than the disappointment behind it, this tantrum would have become a full blown whining fit for the rest of the trip to the zoo. As it was, we dealt with the disappointment, he felt heard and I was no longer stressed about trying to fit both in.

[Qestia]

I have a similar story to the OP, as of Friday, DS seemed to hit the terrible part of the so-called terrible twos, and his tantrums have become real humdingers. (I've been waiting for years to use that word in a sentance, LOL). He's been having a hard time coming back inside the house, we'reflexible and of course want to maximize our outdoor time... but sometimes we need to come in! So after coming in one day last weekend he was extremely upset, yelling, crying, grabbing the dog leash and saying "walk, walk!" but also pushing us away when we tried to comfort/distract/reason with him. So --I-- grabbed the leash and said I wanted to go for a walk and why couldn't I, boo hoo, basically I modelled what he was doing but even more dramatically. I was afraid it would be like making fun of him, but he thought it was absolutely hilarious. Soon we were both laughing. I've used it a couple of times since but have also noticed, knock on wood, the intensity of his tantrums overall, which had shot way up, has decreased since then.

[Julian's Momma]

My 13 mo. old DS would always fall to pieces when I would turn off the water in the tub when he was busy playing with it. I let it run while he is in it, but he doesn't understand why I have to ruin all the fun by turning it off.

Redirection didn't help since he was still a foot away from the faucet staring at it while bawling. So, I just started to give him a warning (like "water is finished") and turned it off very slowly so he could watch the stream of water turn into a drizzle then finally off.

The first few times he still fell apart and I just hugged him and protected him from getting hurt. After those first few times, he never cried again since he knew what to expect. Now he likes to run a toy under the drizzle and then just moves on to more exciting things!

[hippymomma69]

I love these stories.....

The newest technique that I got from you lovely ladies was the "waiting for the bus" technique....which I have used a bunch of times to get my DD dressed! It's usually a big battle with her. But lately I just say, "Okay time to put on our pants" then hold the pants open for her to step into. She will say no and dance around for a few minutes but I just stand there with the pants open and say nothing. Then she comes over and gets dressed! Glory halleluia! Thanks for your tips!
peace,
robyn

[mistymama]

My son woke up in a grumpy mood this morning .. we both tend to be tired by Friday. So we managed to get dressed and down to the car with no major incidents, but then he was standing by the driver's side door, obviously with the intention of NOT going around the car and getting into his booster. Instead of ordering him to get into his booster (which would have been met with opposition and a super grumpy kid) I asked him if he was going to drive us to school today. He laughed and said NO! and went and climbed into his booster.

It's always nice to avoid a power struggle.

[daisymama12]

My spirited almost 4 yr old ds makes big statements when he's mad, like "I am VERY angry at you and I'm NEVER going to play with you ever AGAIN" and I just repeat back, "you're very angry at me, and you right now, you don't think you want to play with me ever again, right?" and then he says, "well, soon I'll play with you mama." And then hugs my leg.

He is SSSOOOO delicious.