BIL and SIL are having problems with their 2.5 year old dd, and I'm not sure how to help. They are asking for ideas, so I thought if I could find a book, it might help. They did not AP dd as an infant - totally mainstream, and grandma lived with them and did alot of the baby care. DD is high need with a really explosive personality - she has thrown loud tantrums from babyhood. They have a hard time getting her to sleep, and cosleep with her out of desperation. She doesn't take naps and appears tired in the afternoon but they say if they let her take a nap she won't sleep at night. She is very bright - they keep her plugged into the computer or TV most of the time. She can surf the web herself; she knows her numbers - not just counting, but the actual symbols. They are very proud that she can use the computer herself, but it also seems to be a coping strategy just to keep her happy. She is not very social and does not give hugs or want to chat or play pretend type games. She actually seems angry - not just frustrated - when she is told to do something she doesn't want to do. Her tantrums are ear splitting, and she does not get over them quickly, and there seems to be alot of anger directed at her mother. She's very aggressive with other children. Parenting-wise, they seem to have no unified strategy. They are permissive some of the time, then get angry and punish, then exhausted and just give in an pacify her. I don't have any answers on this one. I know they are looking at my kids and wondering why they are so sweet and cuddly and basically cooperative, and why theirs isn't. But I don't know how you get a child attached to you at 2.5. What might be a good GD beginner book that would address this kind of situation? Any ideas? I would tell them about 1,2,3 Magic, but I'm afraid they will miss the nuances of the technique that make it successful, and it will just go down as another thing that won't work. They need a basic education in AP as well. Thanks!
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by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.
post #11 of 22
6/27/07 at 11:29am
I don't know how they do it. It's a simple thing, but it definately could be the source of alot of the tension.
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6/27/07 at 2:13pm
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