Just feeling sad...

[~~Mama2B~~]

I posted here awhile ago about our nursing battle...

It's now been a month since DD nursed. Every once in a while I'll try to offer her the breast, but she's still not interested. I've gotten some suggestions for increasing my supply, but I have to give the electric pump back to WIC in a couple of days, so I guess there isn't a point. I went to a LLL meeting and one of the leaders suggested I feed her with a cup or an eye dropper for a week to get her off the bottles, but between DH and the babysitter, it's not happening consistently. With my supply dwindling fast, dd is living off of formula- something I NEVER thought I'd even use. I just cry when I think about it. I feel like we were robbed of something sacred. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.

Kristi

[quirkylayne]

Kristi

Is there any way you can get another pump - maybe see if LLL knows anyone who is selling or donated one?

[Deir]

Oh I am so sorry for what you are going through!

[sunnysideup]

Have you thought about renting a hospital grade breast pump?
http://medela.findlocation.com/

[HappyGoLucky]

I'm sorry momma. That sounds so heartbreaking. You are doing such an awesome job trying and it just sounds like there are so many obstacles. I do believe that if you have the strength you can make it happen...(and you'll still have many, many months of wonderful nursing moments to make it all worth it.) The choice is yours. Also, You can still have a beautiful, attached relationship with your DC even if you don't BF. But, you have to be okay with that decision.

If you decide to continue trying to bf, I would recommend you get as much support as possible. That's great that you went to a LLL meeting. Does your local hospital have LCs that you could talk to? Maybe the LLL leader could recommend someone?

I know I mentioned it in a previous post, but my son didn't latch for 8 weeks, and then with the help of an amazing LC he did. And, as hard as it was for those 8 weeks... it was all worth it in the end.

I hope the best for you.

[pazerific]

we had nursing troubles too. it's so hard and painful, but it does get better with time. even if your dc never goes back to the breast, know that (as pp said) you can still have a wonderfully close and special relationship.

[Picturesque]

If this is available to you, see a LC ASAP! I work for one and I can tell you that I have seen her work miracles! It can be expensive but insurance often will reimburse. And it will never be as expensive as formula feeding. You will never be sorry if you give this a chance.

Good luck!

[~~Mama2B~~]

We have no extra money, so I can't go to a LC... DD is on medicaid but I don' think that will cover an LC.

Good news- I found a nipple shield and DD actually put that in her mouth and sucked a bit. Her latch is awful, but at least she was willing to put it in her mouth, which she hasn't been willing to do in the past.

I will have to check on renting another pump. I have one now but it has to go back to WIC soon.

Thanks for the support.

Kristi

[Deir]

Do you have the time to update on what your troubles have been?

[RootSnort]

Yay for nipple shields!

Have you considered donor milk from Milk Share?
Or a manual pump? Avent has a nice one for $50. You might find something even cheaper on e-bay.

[~~Mama2B~~]

Originally Posted by Deir

Do you have the time to update on what your troubles have been?

I didn't anticipatr any BFing problems, so I really didn't prepare. I kind of assumed it would all go fine.

DD was born at home but then we went to the hospital to get stiches for me and DD got checked out. While I was in surgery DD was given a bottle. That was the first thing she had to eat, so when I tried to get her to nurse on my flat nipples, she wasn't interested. So I was given a nipple shield, which seemed to work.

During the first two weeks, DD nursed (with the shield) and we supplemented with formula, as I didn't have a pump. Her weight kept going down. I took her in for a weight check and the nurse I tlked to at the clinic made me feel like scum. She was so condescending and treated me like I was a bad mom for using formula. She told me to stop using bottles and just to nurse. For the next 4 days that what I did. DD screamed all day and all night. She nursed every 5 minutes, fell asleep and would wake up screaming for more. I talked to my visiting nurse that we had at the time when she came over and she told me to get her back on formula ASAP. DD's weight was even lower and when the nurse gave her a bottle she gulped it down like she was starving. I felt awful.

After that I basically formula fed and supplemented with nursing, although it was apparent that she wasn't able to get much milk through the shield. I met with a LC and we got her latch improved on the shield, although we didn't have much luck weaning her from the shield. As my pregnancy insurance coverage came close to ending, we tried to get heron the breast and had some luck. It was rare, but she was willing to try.

After I ran out of insurance I tried to get her more comfy on the breast alone. We did well, but about a week into it sge went on strike, and as her weight was only slightly improved, we went mostly only the bottle. She was 1 month old.

ANd that's that. She never wanted to nurse again. She put the shield in her mouth once this morning, but still shows no signs of insterest. Blah.

Kristi

[Genesisjoy]

about the whole needing a pump thing, we don't have any extra money at all either, and I am having milk supply problems my self (if you have any suggestions let me know) so here's how I got my self a hospital grade pump, If you go on ebay and look at the pumps, on some the auctions or I am sure on other places on ebay you can find a link for the ebay credit card and apply and instantly get it and then you can buy a pump with it and have really low payments, and I think there is no interrest for the first few months.
now I am not in any way saying that credit cards are good, in fact I make a point to usually stay away from them, but that was the only way I could afford one....

[2 in August]

1st off big to you. I battled to nurse both my kids and it was really hard. You are doing a great job trying and even if it doesn't work out, you are still a great momma. You can still bottle nurse and have a loving, attached relationship. I know because my kids stopped nursing at 5mo and 9.5mo and nothing I did could ever get them near to my breast again.

You might want to see if Medicaid will cover you seeing an LC. I went to one at a hospital and she just billed insurance and medicaid just like for any other outpatient procedure and as far as I know it was paid. I didn't get a bill.

Hang in there and I hope everything works out for you.

[anabellee]

i'm right here with you. we're having so many problems and my heart is just breaking. just know you're not alone and you're doing all that you can.

[CathMac]

Tips, Techniques and Links on Supply and Pumping

Mama2b,
It looks like another poster, Genesisjoy, has issues similar to yours. I just replied to a thread of hers with a bunch of Tips, Techniques and Links on Supply and Pumping and with a little bit of info on luring baby back to nursing.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=701856

The both of you have my deepest admiration for fighting as valiantly as you are. Your babies are lucky to have the Moms that they do.

Keep up the good work.

FWIW, if nothing else I would really consider giving the "Re-birthing" technique a try, but I would follow the safety precaution of having someone with you. I think there is something relaxing and nurturing about a warm bath and possibly reminiscent of a very gentle birth that might stimulate the the instinct to nurse.

Good luck, ~Cath

[~~Mama2B~~]

It really just helps to hear that I'm not a bad mom and I can still be attached even without this. I was really afraid to go to LLL or to post my problems at MDC because I thought I'd look bad or that no one else struggled. The support is so helpful. Thanks.

Kristi

[danna]

Kristi,
I am sorry you are struggling so much right now. I think the bottom line is that you have to feed your baby. If you are super stubborn and determined, and have a ton of time and the right resources, you can push through this and get your baby back to the breast. However, give yourself a break and know that that's asking a lot from a mom who has two young children and limited time and money. So you are already doing a wonderful job trying to keep BF.

Getting the baby back to the breast takes a lot of work, patience, and determination. I almost gave up twice but my stubborness (em, perserverance) and wonderful support from my LC and (mostly) my DH really helped.

Trust your instincts, and do what you think is best for your baby, and don't feel bad if you end up using formula. It's not the antichrist!

[ladybug13]

Originally Posted by ~~Mama2B~~

It really just helps to hear that I'm not a bad mom and I can still be attached even without this. I was really afraid to go to LLL or to post my problems at MDC because I thought I'd look bad or that no one else struggled. The support is so helpful. Thanks.

Kristi

(((Kristi))) I'm so very sorry for your struggles. My DS wanted nothing to do with nursing and I was very depressed about it for a very long time. Luckily, I had means to buy a Medela pump and never had supply issues. I bottle fed him breastmilk for 14 months, but regardless I was often made to feel like I had failed him and also felt like I was robbed of something so automatic for every mom, something so sacred. It really pisses me off when others treat you as though you must have done something wrong or that you didn't try hard enough. Obviously, breastfeeding does not (simply CANNOT) work for everyone. If that were the case, the term wet nurse would never have been created!!!! I just wanted to let you know that you're doing a wonderful job doing the best you can. Please, please, please do not feel guilty about your situation. You obviously have done everything possible. I'm just really sorry you don't have the means to have a good pump that would at least allow your baby to get breastmilk. In the long run, pumping and bottle-feeding is A LOT cheaper than using formula. But, if you also have supply issues, then I guess it's not as feasable.

Wishing you gentle days ahead.... just remember, you are doing the best you can with what you have. Your baby knows this and can feel your love and devotion.

[Evansmommy51407]

have you ever thought of trying a nipple shield? Nipple shields are cheap and will help your dd to take your breast again and that should help with your milk supply. My ds would not latch on after I gave him breastmilk in a bottle till I used a nipple shield for about a week and now he takes the breast without it ever time he has even had breatmilk in a bottle and still we have no more confusion here is a website that talks about nipple shields.http://www.medela.com/NewFiles/specialtyfdg.html