Secrecy: Who is already wanting another babe? - Page 2

[Ks Mama]

Originally Posted by wombatclay

It's interesting to me the wide range of responses to this question...

Oh yeah, didn't answer the question myself!

I think we're finished at two. Though I don't like putting a definitive on that... because were another child to grace our presence, certainly we'd love him or her just as if we had planned in the same way as our first two.

Yet, DH has always only wanted two children, and three always seemed my "limit". Yet after our first, going from one to two was a HUGE decision, with TONS of discussion for us, and we didn't start trying until we both were COMPLETELY set on the idea of a second child. It really wasn't easy.

And my first pregnancy was emotionally difficult, labor & delivery was highly stressful, and took until the birth of my son to process & feel at peace with! My second pregnancy was in comparison, easy emotionally, yet difficult physically, and also came to a close in a highly stressful way, in spite of all our planning...

And on top of all of that, DH & I feel comfortable with one parent per child. We can give dedicated attention to each of our children, and honestly, I can't see myself dividing my attention during the day (as a SAHM) between three - it seems unfair - because I know myself, and my limits - and I feel I'm a good parent... and not sure I could be the way I want to parent with any more children.

So, likely we'll stop at two. Yet, DH hasn't made that appointment yet.

[PatchChild]

I was talking to DH about this in the car last night. Told him that despite the hard labor that ended in a c-section, I still wanted more babies. His response, let him forget the terror of seeing me go through labor and the even greater scare of the section. He had more issues with the section than I did. Odd, but understandable I guess. So, does labor amnesia set in for men too? I'd hate to lose out on my chance for another baby because he can't forget my first labor.

[brittneyscott]

I think men definitely get labor amnesia too. I think if you give him time he'll accept it later. I don't think we'll be having anymore though. I've always seen myself having four kids but now I'm not so sure. We have a girl and a boy that are 2 yrs apart. It seems to be the perfect set up. We can give them more financially and they will definitely always be able to get enough attention. And although it may sound silly this way there will never be another girl as pretty as our daughter or another boy as special as our son. No middle child syndrome. DH is suppose to get a vasc. but we're going to wait about 6mo-1yr before doing the procedure to make sure.

[dara00]

Originally Posted by Ks Mama

If you DID decide to have another, perhaps you could find a doctor who would be okay with you going into labor naturally, with the intent that once you determined you'd started labor, you'd come to the hospital for a C-section? In other words... and "unplanned planned" C-section?

FWIW, even knowing my DS was breech, my doctor was okay with this plan because I told her how important it was for me to know that my baby was ready to be born... that I didn't just pick an arbitrary date... know what I mean? This was important to me - with the 2nd C "looming" it felt good to know I wasn't scheduling anything.

Of course things don't always work as planned, as you know! I hope you can fully reach peace with yourself & your C-section & your body...

this is what I think I'd want to do. I don't like the idea of planning the cs for when the baby may not be ready.

[dara00]

Originally Posted by brittneyscott

And although it may sound silly this way there will never be another girl as pretty as our daughter or another boy as special as our son.

that is so sweet! (and now I'm crying)

[lunaleau]

We definitely want to have one more biologically. Though when our son was born this month, I was so elated at the hbac, but right afterwards after pushing out a 10 lb baby I said NO MORE. That was partially because we figured out from the placenta that he started out as a twin and the thought of having to push out another baby after having just pushed him out was horrifying. Of course 24 hours later I was already talking about #3, I really want a girl ( I have 2 sons) but at the same time I want my boobs back by the time I am 40 ( I am 32 now). We will definitely adopt though, a few of my siblings are adopted and I cannot imagine building a family without adoption. But yeah, these little babies make it hard to resist though!

[firefly mama]

Me Me Me!!!

It was about 2 hours after this birth that I was sitting in bed (I was already sitting) saying I could do this again really soon. this baby was #2 and we are hoping for 2 more as quickly as I can get pg. So....last weekend we started DTD again without any BC. It took 14 months for me to get fertile cycles again after DD, so I'm not expecting anything soon.

My MW said it was really refreshing to have someone already so excited about her next pg and birth at the 6-wk appt. Usually folks are still saying no more, or none for a long time. She likes to see big families (she had 5).

[willoLevin]

Hmm... I haven't had the time to finish writing out my birth story yet, but I'm afraid I didn't leave this birth as excited to have another as I did my first labor/delivery experience. I still am not sure exactly why.

With DS#1, I wasn't even stitched up yet when I said excitedly to everyone in the room, "I can do this again!"

This time, when it was all done, even with nowhere near the stitches/time required, and without having had the trauma of heart decel's leading to the baby being whisked over to an immediate peds exam instead of straight to me, my immediate post-partum reaction was, "Thank God that is done!" I didn't say it out loud, but I was thinking, "I can never do that again."

Now, I still want four children. DH only ever wanted one child (if any), but agreed to AT LEAST two, and, most likely, that we would adopt a third child of the opposite gender if we had two naturally of the same gender. And that's what happened--now we have two sons.

I am still processing my "loss" of a biological daughter... My ultimate fantasy family as always to have one boy and one girl biologically, then to adopt one more of each gender, for a total of four kids, two each gender.

I wouldn't give up my little baby boy for anything, but I really am sad not to have had a little girl who might look like me, etc.

I'm pretty sure I'm going for the IUD with the hormones in it. Can't recall the name. Anyway, that is a "reversable" choice, so we'll see what happens there. DH really, REALLY doesn't want a vasectomy, and I think it is wrong for me to do a more invasive surgery when he could have an "easier" one, so I don't think we'll take permanent birth control action.

Anyway, there's always a chance, isn't there? And I can't imagine ever regretting any pregnancy. I just don't think I want to do labor/delivery again.

Also, NOT ALL MEN get childbirth amnesia. DH finds the entire birth process pretty horrific, and, after this one, he said, "The only thing I've ever seen that was more disturbing than DS#1's birth was DS#2's birth!"

--willo