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Unusual baby shower gift... WWYthink?  

post #1 of 27
6/27/07 at 5:27pm
Thread Starter 
DH and I had a baby shower some weeks ago, but there was a lady who couldn't make it. She left a gift for us at church, which we weren't expecting at all. So we pick up this gift, and it's a book about marriage.

Actually, it's this book: http://www.amazon.com/Love-Respect-D...2975104&sr=1-1

What's kind of strange about this whole thing (besides the book itself, which isn't our style AT ALL ) is that she's been married for less than three months. DH and I have been together over six years. We've got this marriage thing down, kwim? She is older than us, but only by a few years.

So... What would you think, really? DH is kind of offended- in the front cover it says, "This book is for anyone: in marital crisis, wanting to stay happily married, who's feeling lonely... It's for engaged couples, victims of affairs, pastors and counselors seeking material that can save a marriage." I'm just wondering if we've given the impression that we're maritally unstable- I mean, you don't usually get something like this for your baby shower, kwim?

Anyway, I just wondered what everyone else thought, or if I'm having pregnancy paranoia. Which would be completely unlike me, I assure you. :
post #2 of 27
6/27/07 at 5:30pm
Very strange. Maybe she put your name on the wrong gift? Maybe she is really confused and thought it was a bridal shower? (even then, it's kinda strange...)
post #3 of 27
6/27/07 at 5:32pm
Maybe she was re-gifting and didn't put much thought into it? I got a book for first time moms at my shower and it was from a close cousin that soooo would not agree with half the crap that was in there.
post #4 of 27
6/27/07 at 5:35pm
I'm thinking she was confused and thought it was a bridal shower.
post #5 of 27
6/27/07 at 5:38pm
Thread Starter 
No, the card was definitely for a baby shower! She actually made out the card to DH, baby, and me, and mentioned children in the card. It's funny, because we had her bridal shower only a few months before, and I was big pregnant then. It's a small church, so everyone knows everyone else's "status".

See, that's why I was confused!
post #6 of 27
6/27/07 at 5:42pm
Well, a newborn in the house will definitely change your marriage a bit, perhaps she was trying to be supportive =)
post #7 of 27
6/27/07 at 5:44pm
Though I think it's strange and a little bit funny and I would totally have the same initial reaction as you.....it's not our type of book....we're having no problems (SHE'S BEEN MARRIED SOOOO LITTLE TIME TO BE GIVING ADVISE!!), my husband and I had to go through this workbook for our premarital counseling with a similar theme. At first, we totally made fun of it (actually we still do sometimes), but as the pastor who administered our counseling said, he and his wife read it together when they were already totally happily married and it just strengthened their marriage....I think it may have ours, too....

heehee maybe.....maybe it's just a strange gift!
post #8 of 27
6/27/07 at 6:04pm
Maybe it really impacted her and she's giving out copies to everyone she knows because she thinks everyone needs the info? Lame-o gift though I think.
post #9 of 27
6/27/07 at 6:28pm
I agree with PP, she probably lives her marriage by this book, thinks it is so great and wants to share it with everyone when ever she can. Like those babywise fanatics that gift the book whenever they see the opportunity!
post #10 of 27
6/27/07 at 6:35pm
I've been given books like this before too. I don't know why, but I wouldn't give one at any kind of shower. It' pretty personal, ya know?
post #11 of 27
6/27/07 at 7:25pm
totally wrong time to be giving out that book. . . and I'm not sure a marriage help book is ever something I would give as a "gift". MAYBE at a bridal shower if it was thrown in with something else as a gift too. Maybe. BUT I will say I've read the book and although its message is just a little too simple and repetative to need an entire book to explain what is being said- it was a really good marriage book. My hubby and I have a WONDERFUL marriage (5 years) and I read it and enjoyed it.
post #12 of 27
6/27/07 at 7:42pm
I think that I would be a bit offended. It's not the time or place for the gift, and I wouldn't want someone who has been married less time than me trying to give advice, especially when I didn't need any.

That said, I agree with the posters who said that she meant well. The book probably had a big impact on her and she want to share it with everyone.
post #13 of 27
6/28/07 at 5:29am
Maybe she thinks your husband is in love with her

(you won't take me seriously I hope!)
post #14 of 27
6/28/07 at 7:13am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pilllowhead View Post
Maybe she thinks your husband is in love with her

(you won't take me seriously I hope!)
Nah, she's too skinny.

Y'all are right, she was probably so touched by the book that she wanted to share it with us. We don't know her well, but she seems like a really sweet person. We flipped through it, and DH was somewhere between and . Apparently, he needs respect (but I don't), and I need unconditional love (which he doesn't). What really cracked me up is the part where they list tips on how to accommodate his sexual needs. I have no sexual needs. I just lay there and think of roses.

Ok, now I'm being smarmy. But I've been up since 3 a.m. with pregnancy insomnia, I reserve that right!

Thing is, we shared our shower with another couple, and I'm wondering now if they got the same thing- is there any polite way to ask?
post #15 of 27
6/28/07 at 2:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BumbleBena View Post
Thing is, we shared our shower with another couple, and I'm wondering now if they got the same thing- is there any polite way to ask?
Oh- that would be so funny to find out. Not sure of the ettiquite rules on who-gave-you-what-at-the-shower questions.....
post #16 of 27
6/28/07 at 3:04pm
I agree with the others that say she probably got alot out of the book herself and was just sharing the information... That said, it totally sucks that that's what she gave you as a shower gift but I think she had good intentions behind it, anyway... She should've said something in the card to relate the book and her reasoning behind giving it to you guys as a BABY SHOWER GIFT... It's like she left a huge gaping communication hole between her intentions and the actual gift.

Quite strange.

Alayna
post #17 of 27
6/28/07 at 3:21pm
So How are you going to write a thank you not for that gift

Interesting. I wonder what she was thinking
post #18 of 27
6/28/07 at 3:53pm
Thread Starter 
I know, I'm not sure what to say now! She and her DH left town for the summer, but I'm trying to figure out a polite, casual way to wrangle out of the other mom if she got the book too, or if there are wild rumors circulating the church that DH and I slap each other around on a regular basis.

I was also wondering about the thank-you card. I've gotten so far as, "Thank you so much for the lovely book."
post #19 of 27
6/28/07 at 3:57pm
Here is my shot at a "thank you" note:

Thank you very much for the lovley book. I am sure adding a baby to the marrige makes for many changes, and I am anticipate the book will help us remember to make time for one another during our transition. Thank you again for your thoughtfullness.
post #20 of 27
6/28/07 at 4:03pm
Thread Starter 
Awesome, Macrina- thank you so much! I'm really terrible with thank-yous, I'm always worried I'll say the wrong thing. Yours sounds really nice- I did appreciate the gift, I just thought it was weird, you know?
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