battle of the hairbrush

[elizawill]

my dd will be 6 in early october. she has long hair and it's texture is very similar to an adult. it's beautiful, but it's a real pain to brush. she gets knots in it easily, and obviously, we have to brush it daily. but can i just tell you I HATE BRUSHING HER HAIR! she doesn't want me too at all, but this is a non-negotiable, ya know??? i try to let her brush it herself....but honestly, she does a lousy job and the knots all remain. if i let them go a day ...they are that much worse later. i use conditioner and spray kid tangle stuff, but it still hurts her. i completely understand that it hurts her and i try to be gentle....but i still have to brush it. she doesn't want it cut, and i don't think it would make a huge difference anyway.

i'm not posting in GD because i think she needs any sort of discipline at all, but it is a battle between us and i need advice. we have been getting along so fabulously lately (thank you GOD for MDC advice forums!)....but this is one area where i still feel my blood begin to boil. she shreiks and freaks out (a bit dramatic like her mama i suppose ) and won't stay still...which makes it all that much worse imo. does anyone else go through this. any advice?? please!

[spughy]

I don't have any first-hand advice, but my sister and I had hair like that as children. Mine wasn't so bad because it was fine, but my sister's casued some screaming. My mom (who is sort of but not entirely on the GD thing) gave us a choice of getting it cut short or having it brushed every morning. We always opted for short. It DOES make a HUGE difference, to be honest. Short hair is so much easier to brush.

That having been said, you could try french-braiding it at night so it doesn't get tangled while she sleeps, and getting her to wear it in a braid or a ponytail during the day so it doesn't tangle as much. (A high ponytail, low ones are frequently tangled by collars.)

[Rani]

My dd wanted to have long hair (she takes ballet and wanted to be able to make a bun + a race with dh to see whose hair was the longest)...

Anywhoo, it was around this same time that I made a deal with her. She can have long hair as long as it is clean (at least every other day ) and brushed daily.

I also went to our salon and got a detangler spray. She washes her hair, then you spray the detangler on it - rub it in a bit, and brushing becomes MUCH easier....

When necessary, I remind her of our agreement - no upkeep, no long hair. I also, for the longest time, made it a point to keep it trimmed to the length she can brush herself easily. Once it gets too long, she can't brush it without help.

Hope this helps...and good luck.

[A&A]

The conditioner that has saved my sanity is: Infusium (that's the brand.)

My dd's hair is much better since I regularly started buying that conditioner! It's pricey but well worth it!

Also if you can get a pick (you know--like a comb for perms), that will make getting through the tangles a lot easier, too.

[Newsprint]

What about a haircut?

[Trinitty]

Hi there!

We don't have children yet, but, I have always had long hair, and when I was a child, it was REALLY long.

I know that this is probably a silly question, but, are you sure you are brushing it right?

When I got old enough to brush my own hair, I realised that it HURT when my mom brushed it because she did not hold ABOVE the portion of the hair that needed to be brushed. She brushed straight down, starting at my head, and ending at the tips. When I started brushing my own hair, I held above the knot, keeping plenty of slack between the tangle and my scalp, thus, no pain at all, I didn't even feel it.

You are probably already doing this, but I figured I'd offer!

Trin.

[littlemizflava]

here is my tips bathe dd do the shampoo then put in conditioner use a large tooth comb to comb her hair then quickly rince pat dry then let air dry when combing when dry spray water in her hair then place a little conditioner in ur hand and rub in hair then comb (even when spraying in leave in detangler use water too) ....... if her hair is braided or done and not left loose it will be way easyer to comb even just pull it back in to one braid will work wonders

[LastBestPlace]

I'm not a mama yet, so I don't have any advice on brushing someone else's hair, but I distinctly remember how much I hated having my hair brushed as a child.

I agree with the PP about proper brushing technique being super important - always start from the bottom and work up. However, I think that some people just have super-sensitive scalps and your daughter is probably part of our club. What worked for my mom and me was a short haircut. It was hard for my mom because she really liked my long, thick auburn hair, but I was so happy to be freed of hair-brushing.

The sensitive scalp thing doesn't ever necessarily go away. I was in a wedding last weekend where they did our hair and I thought I was going to cry from the pulling!

[ThreeBeans]

Every night before bed:

1. Shampoo.

2. Conditioner

3. While the conditioner is still in, run a comb through the hair (GENTLY) and get out all the snarls

4. When she gets out of the tub, do NOT towel her hair dry. Rather, blot out the soak, then French Braid her hair nice and tight. Let her go to sleep like that

5. In the morning when she gets up, take out the braid. It should be easy peasy to brush out

Signed,

ThreeBeans, who has nightmarish memories of her mom and the hairbrush every day

[BellinghamCrunchie]

Originally Posted by Trinitty

When I got old enough to brush my own hair, I realised that it HURT when my mom brushed it because she did not hold ABOVE the portion of the hair that needed to be brushed. She brushed straight down, starting at my head, and ending at the tips. When I started brushing my own hair, I held above the knot, keeping plenty of slack between the tangle and my scalp, thus, no pain at all, I didn't even feel it.

You are probably already doing this, but I figured I'd offer!

Trin.

I was going to suggest the same thing. DD's hair is massively curly, and gets into knots hourly. It hurts to get them out if I am not really careful. I have to start at the ends, be very patient, hold the hair tightly above the area I am brushing so that it does not pull on her scalp, and work my way up (not down).

Keeping it braided at night and tied back during the day help, too.

DD is younger, but I usually give her a popsicle and sit her in my lap while I work on her hair. Its a special treat she only gets during hairbrushing (well they are actually smoothies made with yogurt, fruit, and protein powder but to her they are popsicles).

[Wendy~]

As a few others have mentioned, after shampooing, put a good conditioner in and comb thru, the tangles should let loose very easily, if not, rinse and put more conditioner in those areas, and rinse. When rinsing make sure the water is flowing down the hairshaft. Do not towel dry, just squeeze dry (you can do that with a towel, just don't rub the hair kwim?)

Also, for dry hair, a nice brush that is cushioned at the base works best. That way the bristles are more flexible and won't pull too hard on a tangle.

[jgmommo]

Similar situation for us with my 7.5yr old. We use a pick comb, the kind with wide teeth and the handle is actually on the top. My own hair is fine so I never knew such things existed but it works wonders for her (we also use detangler if needed).

[monkey's mom]

Even if she doesn't want it cut short, she might be OK with having it thinned. They have crazy scissors at salons that they use to cut only some of the strands and it thins out long hair w/out actually layering it.

Might make it more managable. ??

[elizawill]

i talked to my dd tonight, and she is so excited because tomorrow she is getting a haircut! she wants a short bob chin length. i think she'll love it....and if not, she's pretty easy going about hair and she understands it will grow back in time. thanks so much for all of the great advice!! you all are awesome

[Wendy~]

Just FYI, I used to be a hairstylist. With all due respect to the previous posters suggestion, may I advise to not ask the stylist to "thin" the hair with the thinning shears unless the hair is layered. All those scissors do is cut 'some' of the hair shorter, so if it is not layered it often will look like the hair has broken off here and there or look "fly away". Especially as it starts to grow out, and you can't "trim" the "thinned" out areas.

on another note, if the op's dd doesn't want to cut her long hair but is still having a hard time getting it brushed with all the above tips that have been offered, maybe layering it without sacrificing the actual length of the hair would be something she'd be open too. It would definately make it easier to comb/brush!

[Wendy~]

we posted at the same time

Yay that you've come up with a solution you can all be happy with!

[monkey's mom]

Originally Posted by Wendy~

Just FYI, I used to be a hairstylist. With all due respect to the previous posters suggestion, may I advise to not ask the stylist to "thin" the hair with the thinning shears unless the hair is layered. All those scissors do is cut 'some' of the hair shorter, so if it is not layered it often will look like the hair has broken off here and there or look "fly away". Especially as it starts to grow out, and you can't "trim" the "thinned" out areas.

Really? My hair doesn't have layers and they always use it. It doesn't look broken off or fly-away at all--it just feels thinner. But I have really, really (freakishly, apparantly) thick hair.

[elizawill]

layering is a great idea. in fact, when i get her hair cut, we always have it layed A LOT, to try and thin it out and give it a little style. what's funny is i have long hair too, but mine's lame....it's not thick and it can break. i don't know where she gets her great hair!

her hair is a few inches past her shoulder blades right now. she woke up at 7:15 this morning saying, "i'm ready to go get my hair cut". i think it will be a very cool cut for the summer. i just wish it was a little longer so we could donate her beautiful locks to "locks of love" or something. my understanding is it need to be 12 inches or something though....that stinks.

also, i do try to brush her hair by hold it above where i brush...but the knots get so bad and they are underneath near her collar (which makes it hard to not hurt no matter what i do). that's why we're just gonna chop it off. it will bring peace to the house and hairbrush

[Wendy~]

Originally Posted by monkey's mom

Really? My hair doesn't have layers and they always use it. It doesn't look broken off or fly-away at all--it just feels thinner. But I have really, really (freakishly, apparently) thick hair.

You are one of the luck ones! I bet you have gorgeous hair ! It *can* be done, but the stylist **really** needs to know what they are doing. I used to teach advanced haircutting and I saved that kind of technique for the really good stylists who really paid attention to hair texture/form/density. If someone who isn't that skilled tries it, it will often look bad. I'd just hate to see the op ask a stylist to try it if they didn't really know how to do it, I'd rather a skilled stylist who thought it would help recommend it. kwim?

elizawill, let us know how she likes her haircut!

[Wendy~]

Oh one more thing about hair donation if anyone is interested. For Locks of Love, the longest peice only has to be 10 inches. If you don't have that much shorter lengths can still be donated, it just won't be used for the wigs, it will be sold for other uses and the money used for manufacturing. Let me find a link...

Here are the guidelines for donating found at
http://www.locksoflove.org/donate.html


DONATE HAIR

Please Note: Anyone can cut your hair as long as the guidelines listed below are followed. We encourage all of our donors to go to a salon they are already familiar with to ensure their comfort when donating.
GUIDELINES FOR ACCEPTABLE DONATIONS

* Hair that is colored or permed is acceptable.
* Hair cut years ago is usable if it has been stored in a ponytail or braid.
* Hair that has been bleached (usually this refers to highlighted hair) is not usable. If unsure, ask your stylist.
* Hair that is swept off of the floor is not usable.
* Hair that is shaved off and not in a ponytail or braid is not usable.
* Layered hair is acceptable if the longest layer is 10 inches.
* Layered hair may be divided into multiple ponytails.

* Curly hair may be pulled straight to measure the minimum 10 inches.
* 10 inches measured tip to tip is the minimum length needed for a hairpiece.
* Please Note: Hair that is 6-10 inches in length will be accepted and sold at fair market value to offset the manufacturing costs. Although the shorter hair cannot be used in the hairpieces, it still greatly helps to reduce costs.
* Gray hair will be accepted and sold at fair market value to offset the manufacturing costs.