Ideas for 4 & 1 yr old playing together

[Glittergal]

So we love our children's 3 yr spacing but now that our almost 1 yr old is mobile and into everything, my almost 4 yr old is SCREACHING nonstop "no I, don't touch", etc etc. It is extremely exasperating because the little one adores her and of course wants whatever she has. I'm trying to come up with activities we can do together and would love some ideas. We already read a lot and go to playgrounds and pools. But lately it has been too hot to go outside and crafts are not working because of DS's desire to shred all my daughter's drawings, eat her crayons, etc etc. We do some block-tower building but then my daughter wants to turn it into a princess palace for her polly pockets and my son loves to destroy it You get my drift. I know lots of people have this spacing so I'm hoping to get some good ideas as we are in a serious slump at our house!

[hottmama]

Well, my kids are 4.5 and 1.5 and they:
play cars or trains
build with blocks
draw
throw and/or kick balls back and forth
play basketball with our little goal
wrestle
ride bikes (the little guy has a Radio Flyer ride on)
play with our toy kitchen
pretend to talk to each other on toy phones
play dressup
hide under the covers and pretend there are monsters outside

So you might have to wait a couple months but any day now, your kids will be playing together all the time! My kids get along so well and love playing with each other. They do fight over toys sometimes (my 4.5 yr. old is very attached to his doll, Elizabeth-- but so is his brother!) but they never stay mad for more than a few seconds. I am very happy with the 3 yr. spacing!

[becoming]

My 5.5-year-old and 20-month-old are similar to your kids, but they do have lots of fun together while playing cars & trucks and especially while singing and dancing along with their children's CDs. They also do pretty good with playing chase; that is, until my 20-month-old gets scared and says, "He get me! He get me!"

[annekevdbroek]

Thank you for starting this thread. DS1 is 4 (in 2 weeks) and DS2 is 5.5 months. I've been wondering about playing together once DS2 is mobile. These ideas are great - and things that DS1 already likes to do.

[LuckyMommaToo]

We struggle with this a lot. Some strategies that have worked for us: putting a baby gate on DS (big brother)'s room, so he can play trains in there, still be in contact with me, and DD can't pull the track apart; we always do art/games/puzzles at the kitchen table so DD can't get them.

I had a successful afternoon recently by putting a huge beach towel down on the kitchen floor and letting them "cook" with water, food coloring, old flour, etc. It was so great for both of them and heartening for me to see them actually doing something together.

Other than that, outside is our best bet. My friends tell me it'll get better as DD gets more verbal.

hth,
Erin

[Daffodil]

My kids have the same spacing. It's tough when the youngest is right around one, because that's old enough to cause trouble, but not old enough to play very well with the other kid. Now that my youngest is 18 months, they play together more.

Some ideas:
-- Put them both in the bathtub with water and some toys.
-- Put on music and all of you dance (maybe while waving scarves around for extra fun.)
-- Playdough
-- Scooping and dumping with something like rice
-- Let the older one do crafts, coloring, puzzles, etc. on a table while you entertain the younger one in the same room by reading, playing with toys on the floor, etc.
-- Let them jump and wrestle on the bed.

[angela&avery]

when my kids were 1 and 3 times were tough, but once they hit 2 and 4, it was great. Just hang in there, they will find there way... its tough when they are one because they get into everything and have no imagination for a while... mine fought a lot lot at that time when dd was 1 and ds was 3.. but a year later they started playing together and they still do at 3 and 5

[arratt]

We have 5.5 and 1yo dds and have the same problem with dd1 not wanting dd2 to touch what she is doing because she will "ruin" it. I have talked with dd1 and told her if she wants to do something without dd2 she has to do it at the table or in her own bedroom, though she doesnt usually do that. Going outside and baths as a pp mentioned seems to work well as does any kind of very active/high energy playing such as dancing, singing, running/chasing, screaming, jumping, hiding under blankets, throwing, dumping, we have a ball pit they enjoy playing in together.

[Glittergal]

thanks!
it's great to know it'll get easier.

keep the ideas coming...

[april77]

We have the same spacing and are having limited success with playing together at almost 4.5 and 16 months. Some things that work:

-the bathtub with scoops and bath crayons
-making a fort out of the cushions and blankets (unless it collapses on ds)
-the pop-up tunnel and tent, found this at a consignment store the other day and it's been a huge success
-they love to chase each other, at least until dd tackles ds
-pushing cars around on a play mat
-going outside, they love to push each other on the swings
-ds likes for dd to "read" books to him, it's amazing how many books she has totally/almost memorized or she makes up great stories to go with the pictures
-dancing
-jumping on the bed

We have a play kitchen, dollhouse, etc and sometimes they do ok together and other times they fight over everything the other one touches. The constant fighting is a recent thing for us, made worse by ds cutting his canines and dd going through a very touchy/crying a lot phase that I haven't quite figured out yet.

[blazer]

What a great thread... I love watching my littel man and my 4 yo girl play together. I am hoping that all the scissor holds and body blocks she puts on him to keep him from her latest "block" collection will not scar him for life

[SabraMamma]

Mine are 3.5 years apart and older now, but Fisher Price Little People always worked when they were younger. Also, if you can get 2 of something, like 2 baby dolls and 2 pacifiers, or 2 toy phones that are similar that should keep them both happy. If you are willing to get messy try finger painting, especially in the warm weather you can go outside and paint- even paint each other. What about playdo? I'm not sure what age kids start playing with it. It does get easier. My kids adore each other and play so well together. It is wonderful to see their imaginations blossom.

[AAK]

This is my second go around with the 3 yr split. Most of what we do regarding play has already been mentioned but I will list our favorites.

Dancing
Other music games like parades, follow the leader, etc. The 16 month old can't do everything the older ones do, but she love trying and being included.
Outside garden activities--watering, playing in dirt

But also, what I haven't seen mentioned is stuff like this:

I try to get my big kids to (sometimes) take a different approach. For example, instead of building a castle with the blocks, we will play a Maya game with the blocks. This might me a challenge to see how tall we can build a tower before Maya knocks them down. OR it might be enlisting the big girls in helping Maya learn to build a tower too. They love "teaching" Maya stuff and it really helps their bond too. The blocks was just an example but it can be used for lots of activities. And, most importantly, I do make sure that the big kids get a chance to build blocks their way too!

For art, we put Maya in a high chair with supplies and she sits at the table with the big girls. They are all creating together, but Maya can't reach the other girls' creations. Sometimes though they draw together and "teach" her how to color. The girls know that babies sometimes like to rip paper and break crayons so we save masterpiece creations for when Maya is less likely to get them.

Amy