Screaming fits, what do I do?

[muttix2]

Ds1 (3.5) threw the worst fit he's ever thrown yesterday. We had to pick up some cat stuff at the pet store. So, they have displays of the animals and fish. I let him look at the animals and then the fish which was a big mistake. I thought that he was being calm and relaxed, while ds2 was in the cart, I let him walk around. When I tried to move things along, he started screaming and wouldn't stop. "NOOOOOO!!! The fishies! I want the fish!! You're hurting me!!! Help me! Help me fishies!!!"

It was so horrible and embarrassing. I tried to talk to him calmly, tried distracting him, nothing worked. After a few minutes I told my sister what brand of food/litter to buy and I took him outside leaving my younger son with my mom and sister. Then I sat outside and tried to explain to him that we could go back in if he calmed down. Mind you, I'd had to carry him out of the store screaming all the way. He refused to stop screaming so we went and sat in the car. I turned the a/c on full blast and aimed the vents at him because by now, he was sweating. He continued to cry/scream for at least five more minutes. Refused water and juice (it wasn't too hot outside but it was hot enough and he was sweating badly from the fit). I kept trying to talk to him and finally just quit and turned on the music. He quieted down finally but we just waited outside until they were done. In the next store he was put into a cart immediately.

I always feel lost when this happens. Usually I'm able to quiet him down pretty quickly but apparantly, that doesn't work anymore. How do you deal with the fits? Tell me there is more I can do than just leaving the store everytime, I'll never get my errands done. Book recommendations, anything. I don't know how to deal with him anymore, his emotions are so strong when he's upset. I'm in the South so whenever I ask anyone they just tell me to spank him or they have no advice at all. He's always been the better behaved of the two, I'm seriously at a loss.

[boatbaby]

Just wanted to offer
DS had his first real out of this world tantrum yesterday too. Maybe something with cycle of the moon?

I just stood outside the grocery store and hugged him for a long time. The settled after a LONG while (this fit started 2 minutes from home in the car on the way to the store. Not like him to lose it in the car at all) and when he calmed down I asked him what I could do to make him feel better and he said he wanted to be carried and wanted some chocolate milk

So that's what we did.

My worry is that although he is still nursing he says no to the boob a lot these days. It used to be my secret weapon and now I am at a loss at finding a new way to sooth him...

[LilyGrace]

Oh, honey, I feel your pain. Between last night and tonight there's been so many off the wall screaming fits over EVERYTHING! To name a few:

The bath/shower doors not clicking into the side (they aren't supposed to, but there is a guard there to keep the metal from clanking and he wanted it to fit into it and not move)

A change in dinner plans - was supposed to be pork chops, a
general lack of appetite changed that to spaghetti. A knock down
screaming fit changed it back to pork chops.

A panic over whether big brother got a pink pill or red (Jr. Tylenol meltaway, but P didn't see what it was, hence the fit)

A screaming fit over what cinnamon comes in and wanting me to
change it to a salt can.

And I'm sure I'm missing a few. Oh, wait, putting him to bed so I could finish the cinnamon rolls, me not hearing him call, sending him into a panic over me ignoring him.

--------
That's just last night. Tonight had its own set of fits that rivaled it. And NOTHING is working. He's 5.5 and all of my old tricks aren't working anymore. The most I can do is remove him, hold him and talk softly until he calms down enough to hear me.

There was one point when he was around three that we did have to leave the store every single time. I was a single mom trying to grocery shop for basics. It took about a week, but once he realized that the cereal wouldn't be replenished or the peanut butter or anything else he liked until we made it through the store, he settled down at least long enough to get in 20-30 minutes of shopping.

Distraction works somewhat, but removal has been the only consistent thing that has worked. It gives us both a break to figure out what next.

[annekevdbroek]

I have no advice, only sympathy. DS1 who is nearly 4 had a complete total hysterical meltdown tonight. Daddy was trying to move things along at bedtime and being a tad rigid - but still. I mean, a TOTAL screaming, throwing himself on the floor, banging and kicking the walls over...
1. He wanted ice cubes in the shower (which was fine) then he didn't want ice cubes in the shower
2. Something random
3. Not wanting to put on jammies
4. Something random
5. He wanted his toenails clipped (also fine)
I finally took over and it still took a good 15 minutes to get him to calm down, put on jammies, and read a story. Daddy was then going to try to get him back out of the room to brush his teeth. I said NO WAY!

[sbgrace]

My son is impossible to calm sometimes too. And in those times he gets angry over anything. As in Close the door, no open it, no close it, etc. I've also had embarrasing store experiences. Some kids are just more volatile I think.
Distraction is the only thing I can do and often that doesn't work. With my son sometimes low blood sugar/hunger or tiredness are at the root of these things.
I really do sympathize. I wish I had a good answer for you.

[muttix2]

Well, at least I know I'm not alone Thanks for the responses.

[pinksprklybarefoot]

Every. Single. Night. At our house. Multiple times. About things like not getting a second popsicle.

I wish someone knew the secret.

[punkrockmommy]

IMHO the best thing to do sometimes is just to let it be. remove them from the situation and let them just cry and scream until they calm down themselves. that is the best for my dd. she is the queen of crying when she does not get her way and the more i just leave it alone the shorter the tantrums are and i feel better because i didnt give in.