just need support

[anabellee]

this has been so hard. ds2 has been very sick with reflux to the point of losing weight and labeled "failure to thrive". nursing has been so challenging. my supply is terribly damaged. i'm on domperidone, pumping every 2 hours if he doesn't nurse and after every feed and i'm just not seeing a difference. it's so draining. i do have a Mirena IUD but it's being taken out in the morning. it's the last straw. at least then i can't say i didn't try. he won't take the breast with the SNS attached. i've even tried putting a nipple shield over the SNS to "hide" it but he just refuses. i have a very weak milk ejection reflex which irritates him because he can't get out as much as he wants. i'll try for at least a half hour to nurse him but after that i usually can't bear the screams any more so i'll give him a bottle. i feel like i'm just failing. i feel like my body is betraying me. afterall, i'm trying this hard, i would expect to see some type of results and there's nothing. i just feel robbed of the whole experience. the same thing happened with ds1. he had reflux really bad and they failed to diagnose him until it was very late in the game and they had me trying him on all sorts of different formulas (before i knew better). i did go on to part time nurse him til he was 9mths old but it was a struggle. this time is even worse. my son screams in agony when he sees my breast. that just makes me feel like junk. i cringe and cry every time i have to bottle feed him. i know that it's important for him to grow and thrive but it's so hard. each bottle is like a reminder that i wasn't good enough. i'm still not throwing in the towel and will continue on the grind with the IUD out in hopes that it will help. i just don't knwo what else to do and i really need a place to dump and vent...:

[danna]

((((((BIG HUGS))))) to you. I think you love your kid VERY much to go through all this for him. Have you been working with a Lactation Consultant? I found I needed to work with mine for three months or so, and still struggled for a couple of months afterwards. We didn't have your issues though.

Is the issue a low milk supply or that your DS is in horrible pain after eating because of the reflux? From what I'm reading it sounds like both.

One thing to try is Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle; two herbs that support lactation and let down. I think removing the IUD will really help, along with the herbs, to up your supply.

For the reflux, is he on any meds? Are you elevating him after feeds? Is he sleeping on an incline? Wearing him in a sling will help him stay more comfortable and hopefully encourage him to breastfeed, since he will get a lot of skin-to-skin contact.

How is his latch? How the baby drains your breast obviously affects supply too. My LC and I ended up trying to let the baby self attach. We found this to be the most helpful, pain free, and natural position, and my dd got A LOT more milk that way. Self attachment works best when you lay or sit semi-reclined, bare breasted, and place the baby, also bare chested on your chest, letting him scoot down to the breast on his own (with your hand to support his head or neck should he need it).

You are doing an amazing job! Don't in any way feel bad that you are giving him a bottle (it's not the devil). You have to feed your child and that's more important than anything. I am sorry that breastfeeding has been such a struggle for you and I hope that things vastly improve for you.

Please PM me if you need to talk too.

[anabellee]

ds is on Zegerid (a PPI) and Reglan (to stop the constant puking). he has a very good latch, the nipple shield is to "hide" the SNS from him because he won't latch with it on. there are times when he will nurse beautifully and others when he absolutely refuses. he doesn't like to be in a sling (totally different from my first refluxer) so i'm looking into getting a bjorn type carrier because that's the position he likes best to be held in except facing out. (not in like a tummy to tummy sling carry) i'm taking fenugreek and domperidone and have been for several weeks i've not noticed much of a difference which is why we're getting the IUD out. i hope that will help the situation. i feel like if there was more milk there and my let-down was better he would suck longer and not give up so quickly. i'm working with a LC who is amazing and very much supportive.

[alegna]

Sounds like on top of his other issues pretty classic nipple preference. Have you tried totally eliminating bottles?



-Angela

[girljen]

You are NOT a failure! It sounds like you're doing absolutely everything you can to try to breastfeed successfully. You are dedicated, and you're looking out for his best interests. I hope you're able to up your supply and build the good nursing relationship you're striving for.

[pazerific]

[mclisa]

Oh Anne! I can't believe how much you've had to worry and struggle with J. Just so not fair when all you should be doing is just hanging out and enjoying this stage.

No advice. Just thoughts and prayers out to you and him.