Circumcision. Wow. - Page 3

[Isaac'sMa]

DH was dead-set against it after reading up on it before ds was born. we didn't know ds was going to be a boy, but dh was adamant that his son would be intact. This was totally shocking to me b/c we're Jewish (although super-duper Reform) and dh is circ'ed. We caught a lot of sh** for not circ'ing, people telling us it's gross and dirty etc. and how could we not, we're Jewish, that's what Jews do...etc, etc. It got pretty nasty. But when it came down to it, it really was none of their business, not their decision. Nobody says anything now. At the time I was willing to circ for religious reasons but thank g-d dh stood his ground. I am so pleased that our son is intact and so proud of my husband. Any more little boys in this family and they will be intact too!

[drnmd1216]

I commend the moms that have circ'ed a son before, and have gone through the journey of deciding to make the opposite choice now. There is nothing in the world harder than having to admit that something you chose for your child might not have been in his/her best interest (if I had had 2 boys first, who knows what I would have done-I was ignorant about the whole thing back then.) I was ignorant about vaxes as well, and I wanted to learn about them, but I was afraid with what I would find out, so instead I just stayed blissfully ignorant (UNTIL my son had a reaction that is). Here in the US, its made so easy to make an uneducated decision in many aspects, and mostly bc we put a lot of trust into these doctors that are supposed to put our best interest and our children's best interest first and foremost. Unfortunately, there are many times when that is not always the case. Societal pressures are no help either. Look at the all the mainstream pg mags (that most pg women read during their pgs) and NONE of them ever mention more than a blurb about circumcision-mentioning its great "benefits" and the fact that its a relatively simple procedure with small risks. The truth is made so hard to find, that of course many parents are fooled into making a choice they would never make if they knew the real facts about it all.

Take what you learned and put it to great use and educate others. I don't think there is anything more powerful than having a parent that has been on both sides of the issue...it shows others that just bc you made one choice at one time doesn't mean you are held to that choice forever. This is an especially important lesson to be taught with all the newest circumcision info out (like the sensitivity study). I can't tell you how many times I have "met" mothers of many sons on various boards, who now know circumcision isn't in their 3rd or 4th son's best interest (through information out and about on the debates on teh matter), but they are so scared to admit that to their other children that they made a mistake, so they do it anyways-in hopes they never have to bring the issue up. No doubt its the easy way out for the parents, but it certainly doesn't justify it for that child. Its the real strong mamas (many of who have responded on this thread) that are able to get educated and push through those feelings of fear and apprehension regarding making a different choice the 2nd, 3rd, 4th time around; to make a different and better choice feelings aside, simply for the fact that they now know and understand its the better choice. The best road isn't always the easiest one to take, but its worth it in the end for all involved in the "trip".

[briefcandlelife]

I'm in the camp of being passionately against it, and dh being for it. I don't know the sex of this baby yet. The prospect of "the argument" is stressing me out, though I'm keeping it at bay until I find out. I'm just the worst most emotional arguer. i'm just going to be sobbing about it if we have to talk. I'll start by emailing over all the articles I've been gathering for almost 4 years (since my 1st girl pregnancy) and hope that does the trick first. I'm glad to hear there's an anti-circ forum here, where I can get additional info.

What's on our side is that we're having a home birth and we have no established relationship with any hospital or doctor at all. So dh would have to do all the research, calling, appointment making, and insurance coverage checking in order to make this happen. Which I just see him never getting around to.

I guess we'll cross these bridges after our U/S on tuesday... or not!

[GinaRae]

Originally Posted by drnmd1216

Take what you learned and put it to great use and educate others. I don't think there is anything more powerful than having a parent that has been on both sides of the issue...it shows others that just bc you made one choice at one time doesn't mean you are held to that choice forever.

Great thoughts! Your whole post... thanks :

[lyttlewon]

Originally Posted by Googy

Frankly, I was so relieved when this babe was a girl so I wouldn't have to deal with this. I do NOT believe in circumcision, but DH is dead-set for it, and is all "I'm the guy so I should be able to make the decision." I was so afraid of a terrible fight on this one.

: was DH when I was pregnant with DD. We were both very relieved. When we were talking about TTC #2 I told him then if he didn't agree leave this child intact I wasn't going to have anymore of his children. Needless to say his desire to have more children overrode whatever objections he had. I have exposed him to little snippets of information in the 4 years since I got pregnant with DD so I think that helped.

[chrysalis]

if ours is a boy he will not be cx'd. no WAY. i'm sure tom's family will feel like : but whatever, they are ignorant and annoying anyway. they don't need to see baby's penis anyway. i'll save changing for private moments...

tom is not cx'd. but he seems to understand why i would not want our son to be cx'd. tom is so ignorant he didn't even know he WAS cut as a baby. poor guy.

[pixiedust]

If this one is a boy he will NOT be circed.. DH is intact so that helped alot in convicing him LOL

[meisterfrau]

I'm very glad my DH is just with me on this one and I don't have to argue and convince. I actually have no idea how the grandparents and other family will feel about it...I'm sure they never even gave it a seconds' thought and will just assume we will have him circed. I don't expect it will be a problem with them, but if it is, it's their problem, not ours.

[RosieTook]

No circ for us, either.

Dh is intact, so that arguement was solved right from the get go. I mentioned it to him before we were even married, that I would never circ any son of mine, and he said. "Why would we?" Hear, hear!

His mother is all for not doing it...as shown by the fact that dh was born in 1980 and is still intact...(here in Canada) but my parents circed all three of my brothers, and they are die hard Christians, so I don't know how they will react. I have plenty of info for them though, on the religious, medical and emotional reasons not to...thatnks to this site...and I won't even get into the sexual ones.

If they don't like it...too damn bad! I do intend to use the "I wouldn't circ a girl, why would I circ a boy?" line!

I'm very proud of my cousin and her husband...he is circed, but they choose not to circ their boys...the first was born long before I even started researching so it's not like I sent info...and she's not the type to research herself, and I'm so thrilled they didn't so it. Yay for independant thinking!

[crunchywannabe]

Our oldest 2 boys are circ'd-mainly because I didn't even realize at the time that there was a reason not to do it. I was pretty mainstrem then too.

After joining some natural parenting forums 5 years ago and learning-this boy we are having now will not be circ'd

we have even discussed it with the oldest kids...they now know what circumcision is, why we did it then and why we will not be doing it now.

[Bonawich]

My DS isn't circ'd. I let DH make the decision. I was totally against it - figured it was a decision DS could make later if he wanted. DH was initially in favor because of the potential for STD spread. What changed his mind were pictures of the procedure and the result that our birthing instructor showed our class. My DH hates hates hates blood and needles and didn't want the docs going near my son's penis with anything that might harm.

Good luck everyone in making their decisions!

[wwisdomskr]

I have no idea what dh thinks about circ! It's never come up for us... I am opposed to it. I usually just give dh stuff to read and then talk to him. He's a very sensible, compassionate man. He is circ'd and may be uneducated about it, but he's not the type to dig his heels in when it doesn't make sense... I'll talk to him and let you all know.

[De-lovely]

Quinn is not circ'd and if this babe HAD been a boy no way for him either....dh essentially trusts me on all that stuff. Though I will say when the ped came into NICU to see Quinn dh asked him all sorts of questions and the ped basically said there is no medical reasoning to circumcision. What a blessing I got a ped that would even say that- a man no less....it has become a huge deal for me (circ'ing) and I am hoping to set up a NOCIRC chapter for here in my area as soon as I have some time....in 18 years or so....

[strawberryfields08]

WAY before I was pg with dd I had somehow looked into circ and told dh, then dp, all about it. He was upset and said that of course he would circ his children. Later on he came around and realized that all of the info really made him sad about his own circ. He has even talked to his mother about it. She has never apologized just said she did what she thought she should do. Every time we discuss circ my DH gets sad. He mourns his own penis I know, but he tries not to let it show. I know he feels a great sense of responsibility to not circ his son, should we have one, since he has to deal with all of these feelings now.
I am the type of person to blurt out to everyone what I have learned so my whole family has known since before I was ever pg. that I would not circ. my mom doesn't say much, she said she would have done it to her children (Thank god we are all girls) and that is strange because my dad wasn't. My Step MIL acted like she knew so much about it (she has no kids) and told us we better circ. but my FIL stopped her and said they can do what they want. This was also in the same conversation as HB so we really bombarded them! My MIL knows we will not because of the conversations with DH and I think she is on board but she hasn't really said much. I think she is afraid of realizing that it might not have been the right thing. But my step FIL will probably throw a fit once he finds out. I just try to ignore all of his fits he throws about everything else. (He also tells DD to "Say what you want, don't use sign language crap" at 16 mo. I have learned to ignore his opinion.)
As far as anyone else goes if I tell them what I know and they say anything oh well. I will not be cutting off part of my childs penis and deciding to take away their future sexual pleasure. I am most concerned with people at my church. Which is weird to me. I will leave him as God intended should I have a son. Obviously it is there for a reason, not a mistake.