Tandem nursing and terrible urges

[kaxilophage]

Okay, this is a multi-fasceted problem... I am tandem nursing my 3 year old and 6 month old (never at the same time). We've struggled with this problem off and on, and it's back with a vengance lately. While I am nursing my 3 year old I get these terrible urges. I want to pull her in to me... enough to hurt me. I get so restless. Sometimes I end up hurting or upsetting her (not much, but I don't want breastfeeding to be unpleasant AT ALL). I don't know what to do about these urges, how to stop them or how to deal with them. I love breastfeeding both my children except these urges. I want her to self-wean. She nurses 3-4 times a day, but for fairly short times (I always end it because I get too restless, and sometimes, I would like her to get to end it)...

Some things that might be a factor, but I don't know...

We just moved, so she has been getting up in the middle of the night wanting to nurse.

She's never had a good latch (neither does my younger daughter, and let me tell you we WORKED on it), and when she nurses it irritates my nipples. We reposition and all, and every once in awhile we get it right but maybe just once or twice a week can we nurse without some irritation or pain for me.

I used to have some fairly bad bipolar and anxiety problems, they've been rather under control since I had my older daughter, but I think they are flairing up again recently: .


Any advice or anything would be nice. I love nursing. I love tandem nursing and I want to continue, but I don't want have nursing (wonderful nursing) to be a source of stress for her. Sometimes I wonder if I am (not on purpose) manipulating my daughter by being mean about this thing she loves. Am I doing more harm than good? Please tell me I am not warping my daughter!

kax

[Benji'sMom]

(((HUGS))) I didn't want to read and not respond, although I don't have any experience with this type of thing, because my first wasn't extended BF and my second is extended but he's only 1.5. Anyway, I guess my only advice is that there have been other women on MDC who have felt... I don't know, mood swings I guess you could call it, while nursing an extended BF child, and who've had the desire to just get their child off them etc. So I don't think you're alone. Some have decided that's the body's way of saying they need to end the nursing relationship. But if you want to continue, well I guess I'm not much help. Sorry.

[momuveight2B]

I'm not sure what to say either. A couple questions come to mind though. Do you need to see a doctor about going on meds or having current meds adjusted? Have any medications helped you in the past? Or do you need to find some sources of support like attending LLL meetings? Do you have some help so you can get a break each day? Are you getting out of the house?

I know I have had that "pinned to the couch, touched out feeling" and it is really hard to cope with. I try to have my husband watch the kids early in the morning so that I can get out and walk a few miles and then jump in the shower. Really helps me to feel more connected with myself and able to give the rest of the day.