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would you send your caucasian child to an all african american school? - Page 6

Poll Results: would you send your caucasian child to the school described below?

 
  • 27% (93)
    Yes.
  • 40% (137)
    No.
  • 26% (90)
    Maybe/ not sure.
  • 4% (15)
    Other.
335 Total Votes  
post #101 of 436
Quote:
Originally Posted by menudo View Post
What is racist is that the minute we say "black" or "African American" we are conditioned to think: poor, unhealthy, bad, ignorant, thugs, etc. And the idea of being white and CHOOSING to put your child in a school where he/she would be the minority is seen as near abuse to many so called "not" racists.

Now an all Asian school may not be as bad in some of these peoples eyes as in much of this country Asian is equated with: intelligence, good educational values, quiet, calm. A stereotype opposite of the black stereotype. NEITHER are correct.

C'mon, why is it so much more acceptable for a white couple to adopt and asian child than a black child in most of the USA? (I am not talking about domestic vs. international adoption, I am talking about overall acceptance of a generalized community). Racism is real. Many people do not realize how racist they are until it is IN THEIR FACE.
I couldn't agree with you more. I'd also like to add that some of the responses that said "no way" come across with such a nasty intonation. I mean don't you consider that there may be black mamas on this board who might find your response a tad offensive. Hell, you would think that the op asked if you minded that your child spent a lifetime in purgatory. We're talking about kids, people.

People of color suffer tremendously at the hands of white people but we don't have the option of segregating ourselves based on past hurt or wrongs. Give me a break.
Again, I go back to how nice it must be to have such privilege that you can speak as if black folks aren't present or don't have feelings.

Menudo, thank you for speaking up!
post #102 of 436
purplegirl, would you intentionally send your children to a school where they would be the only POC, if you had other options available to you? All the teachers being white, too? I'm not asking to be snarky. I know POC who have told me they would never do this because they feel it's too isolating. They are usually people who grew up feeling this isolation themselves.

Quote:
People of color suffer tremendously at the hands of white people but we don't have the option of segregating ourselves based on past hurt or wrongs.
Actually, in my city, you can easily guarantee that an AA child will attend a school that is majority AA, if you want to. Obviously, that doesn't negate a world of white privilege, but I don't think it's accurate to say that whites are the only race who are capable of choosing to attend schools where they are the racial majority.
post #103 of 436
Quote:
Originally Posted by pixiewytch View Post
...
Something nobody has mentioned that has had a huge impact on me when I watch them play together is how little many of these children have but how happy they are. They aren't cooped inside with xboxes and fancy toys. Some of them have very few toys. They explore their backyards, chase each other around the yard, play sports, and other things that aren't materialistic or cost very little money. He comes home every day looking like he rolled around in the dirt somewhere and he probably did but he has had a fabulous time. One day a couple of upper class looking white kids showed up in our yard. It was the oddest sight and I had no idea where they had come from. Anyway, my son was overjubilant toward them as he is with everyone else, trying to convince them to join some imaginative game. They looked at him with such disdain. It was as if they didn't know how to just "play". I imagined them so used to so many "things" that they couldn't get it. Eventually I asked my son to come inside because he wasn't understanding that they were rejecting him for whatever reason.
OMG I just had to say this is one of the saddest things I've read in awhile.

That happened to my son a lot too, when he was younger.
post #104 of 436
Quote:
Originally Posted by loraxc View Post
purplegirl, would you intentionally send your children to a school where they would be the only POC, if you had other options available to you? All the teachers being white, too? I'm not asking to be snarky. I know POC who have told me they would never do this because they feel it's too isolating. They are usually people who grew up feeling this isolation themselves.



Actually, in my city, you can easily guarantee that an AA child will attend a school that is majority AA, if you want to. Obviously, that doesn't negate a world of white privilege, but I don't think it's accurate to say that whites are the only race who are capable of choosing to attend schools where they are the racial majority.
My friend, this is how I grew up.
post #105 of 436
Okay, but would it be your choice for your own kids?
post #106 of 436
Thanks Lisa.


And FTR, I am not a WOC. I am also not blindly ignorant to the realities of life for POC in the USA. My family is very diverse and the average person guesses the families racial/cultural ancestry wrong. I know the privilege I have lived and live. I know the prejudice I face due to my family and kids and that is just a MINOR sample of what POC go through everyday!

The idea that someone may skip a school simply due to my kids, or anyone else's color is disgusting-but a fact of life for many! Or that some assume my kids are suffering b/c they are eligible free lunch. And we have health inurance-thankfully not needed in a year. But my cousins in private school? No insurance. And then someone wonders why a poor kid has a WII and new sneakers-maybe because his parents know they may be seen as neglectful b/c the kid doesn't have "good" clothes and acceptable toys. While the rich person yells "see where my money is going-to this welfare Queen!" Not even taking the time to see the Mom works OT and skips meals to get her kid this stuff-trying desperately to save him some pain of all the JUDGEMENT THAT IS THROWN AROUND by PRIVILEGED PEOPLE! Instead they call CPS cause she is working too much and doesn't have her priorities straight...

My own mother called the new shopping center BAD b/c it is predominately POC shopping there and *gasp* many were loud when she was there. Yeah, 4 young woman shopping and acting silly. But she ain't racist. look at her grandkids and best friend...she CAN't be.

: what rant?
post #107 of 436
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aura_Kitten View Post

So there are exceptions but to deny that there are strong correlations between race and these other social problems, and to call anyone who points that out racist, is ignoring a whole slew of Other Social Issues that need to be addressed.
Yes, these issues need to be addressed of course, but really who is going to address the issue-the government, the politicians, or can it start with us? I have heard that "hey I'm not gonna let my child be the guinea pig-so no way is he/she going to go to a school like that", Ok you can feel that way-but we do not live in a vacuum. We think our decisions only affect our family, but that isn't always the case. We all have personal experiences that have helped shaped our thinking, but if one is trying to improve one's own understanding-than he/she has to be willing to be open, even if it is uncomfortable sometimes.

I'm sure some of us know of cases in which middle class AA families have moved into nice, mostly white neighborhoods, and then the white exodus occurs. Why does this happen? It is the same with the schools, when AA's start coming in, the whites move out. So the concept of a caucasian family making the conscious decision of letting their children attend a school that is primarily African-American is just such an antithesis of past behavior (the behavior of here they come, so let us go), we just can't comprehend this, right? Yet if the tables were turned and it was a AA student being sent to a mostly white school-I bet most of us could rationalize that decision.

I know that things aren't simple and yes we are mostly making the best decisions as parents that we know how, but this discussion is important and I know some of us are still healing from wounds of past experiences, but lets keep talking-it easy to take offense from a topic such as thiis (I know that I have been offended), but the truth is the best place to start.
post #108 of 436
Quote:
Originally Posted by loraxc View Post
Okay, but would it be your choice for your own kids?

You're making assumptions without realizing it. I live in a chiefly white area and probably will when I have children. Will I avoid the local schools because my children will likely be in the minority? hell no. That is ludicrous and I did suffer at the hands of white people. I still don't hold every white person accountable and nor do I avoid situations where I am the only black person. I couldn't if I wanted to. As white people, you can make that choice.
post #109 of 436
If homeschooling laws were different and I was unable to choose to keep my children home....(oh allow me to interject that private school is not any more of an option for us so it would be public or hs'ing for sure)....I would consider completely what I believe to be balance within the school.I can say for example the area I live in is VERY diverse religiously,ethnically as well as economically but for some reason it seems as though most kids go to private school aside from a few random white kids and then the hispanic and AA kids....the school has to be 90% minorities from what I have seen. Why? Why dont people see the amazing neighborhood they have and run with it? I mean the public school around my way is a music and theatre elementary magnet....I guess I could be the mama that helps create the diversity that will draw more mamas like myself that say they stay away due to the lack of it....I would just hate for the amazing years of my childrens childhood be surrounded by those that are using them as an example of "hey there are some bi-racial kids at my school too" "oh there's some little biracial kids in our playgroup honey".....I dont know where to draw my own line....sorry if this post was all over the place.....
post #110 of 436
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aura_Kitten View Post
OMG I just had to say this is one of the saddest things I've read in awhile.

That happened to my son a lot too, when he was younger.

I know! He was more ostracized by the kids of his own race than the others. You see, my observation is that class has a lot more bearing in my experience than just race. The white kids didn't seem to accept my son because he appeared to be of a lower class in their opinion...same with my own adult interactions. Class always comes into play more than race in regards to ostracizing....the division between the haves and have nots.

I also have a theory (I'm sure I'm not alone here) that this school choice thing has gone a little overboard. Now I know things are going to differ a lot from state to state and the situation here in Fl due to good ole Jebbie Bush in office is terrible...but I see an attitude that everyone wants their kid going to the best school with the best scores and to hell with the rest of them. I think that is exactly what state wants so that they can continue privatizing education. Every year my son was in preK we would get a letter from the school saying the school's scores were below standard and giving us the option to send him somewhere else. So I want to know what happens when everybody decides to send their kid to the best school. Not everybody can go to the same school. How about fixing the ones that are already there?

I know this is a different discussion altogether but this emphasis on test scores, school programs, and early excelled academics is really misplaced.
post #111 of 436
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplegirl View Post
You're making assumptions without realizing it. I live in a chiefly white area and probably will when I have children. Will I avoid the local schools because my children will likely be in the minority? hell no. That is ludicrous and I did suffer at the hands of white people. I still don't hold every white person accountable and nor do I avoid situations where I am the only black person. I couldn't if I wanted to. As white people, you can make that choice.
Yes, yes, yes! If I know that there is something my children will enjoy (arts program, music program, etc.) I sign them up, knowing good and well that they may be the only children of color at the program (we live in a mostly caucasian area as well) I want them to have a full life active life-which should be an opportunity for all kids (too idealistic?).
post #112 of 436
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikki98 View Post
Yes, yes, yes! If I know that there is something my children will enjoy (arts program, music program, etc.) I sign them up, knowing good and well that they may be the only children of color at the program (we live in a mostly caucasian area as well) I want them to have a full life active life-which should be an opportunity for all kids (too idealistic?).


I would HOPE that MOST people would make this same decision-as far as their child having full life of things that are indeed what life is about regardless of demographics in the end versus staying away BECAUSE of the demographics....for some reason I am not so sure. I know again if I had only one program to choose from that was an all white program versus my child missing out on an experience I would definetly go with the program and hopoe that some other mamas from whatever background signed up next time.


Allow me to bring something else up and I am certainly not asking for pity OR denying the times that my own white privelege has been QUITE apparent....it is a whole other ball game to be the parent of a bi-racial child. I am speaking directly of the AA/white situation....I have felt many a stare and disgusted looks at the site of my family and children,felt it from within my own family as well as from members of the AA community. I often am beside myself about where exactly my family falls in place. In both situations we are the odd men out and not ALWAYS in a bad way....but I am not a mama flattered that someone loves my baby's "perfect shade of brown skin".....what I mean is either way its a hard place to be.
post #113 of 436
No, I had no assumptions, purplemama. I was curious. You answered the question, so thanks. I probably don't need to point out that your opinion that avoiding an all-white school for your kids is "ludicrous" is not the opinion of all POC. Nor is it the only nonracist POV, IMO.

Quote:
I have heard that "hey I'm not gonna let my child be the guinea pig-so no way is he/she going to go to a school like that", Ok I do get that-but we do not live in a vacuum. We think our decisions only affect our family, but that isn't always the case.
I'd like to point something out again, though. When we demonize the people who are zoned for poor, low-achieving schools and choose not to send their kids there, we are giving a free pass to many, many parents who choose what neighborhood to live in based on that nice, innocent-sounding idea of "good schools with high test scores." In many cases, the exact same choice is being made....it just was made earlier on, probably with the benefit of more money. I hardly think it's fair for me to be hung out to dry for racism and classism simply because we can't afford to and didn't choose to live on the side of town where these sticky little issues don't come up.

If you (generic you) are so fired up about changing the system, then intentionally move to a school zone with an awful reputation and get in there and fight. Or devote time and energy to lobbying for a less racist and economically injust school system. Don't write yourself off as innocent because you happen (probably not an accident) to live somewhere with decent schools.

Also, it's important to keep in mind that the people who fought for school choice in schools like mine ARE those involved parents who wanted to make a change. Is it the ideal solution? Of course not. I too find it depressing to just write off my neighborhood school, and I wouldn't, either, if it weren't truly so abysmal, by everyone's account. If it were just mediocre, I'd be there doing what I could. But sometimes the problems are too huge and too intense for one parent to fix.

ETA: I would sign my child up for a class or program where she was in the extreme racial minority with no hesitation, but IMO that's totally different than sending her to school 7 hours a day for years and years where she is in the extreme racial minority,
post #114 of 436
Quote:
Originally Posted by menudo View Post
Life is not the "Love Boat" where Isaac only falls in love if and because a black woman comes on the ship. There color is all they may have in common but people assume they gotta hook up DUE TO THAT! And truthfully, if you assume someone's race, you are likely to be wrong. I have a white cousin who is assumed black or latino. I have a multiracial child who is assumed white. I have a blonde hair blue eyed cousin who is half native American but refers to her self as white. What is their tribe?
So true!!!! It is assumed that people act a certain way because of their race but we have to so careful with stereotypes. We may see comedians joke about stereotypes and we laugh because there is a bit of truth to them-but we can not continue to make generalizatons about people. I know when I go the the farmer's market or the Wild Oats I get some looks, that look like "Wow, I didn't know that people of color actually eat healthy foods, they know about supporting local foods, wow!" It just makes me:. Sorry that this is OT. I feel like these stereotypes just hold us captive.
post #115 of 436
Yeah, I am kind of agreeing with loraxc on this. Actually, very much agreeing with loraxc.

We are not talking about ten percent white ppl here, as dictated by the OP we are talking about the ONLY white kid in the school. I would not put my child in that situation due to the social isolation. If my child were a PoC I would not put them in a situation where they were the only child of colour in an all white school, either. It's about the social isolation. Hell, I won't put my kid in the local school coz the kindergarten teacher is mean. Same thing.

I do get that as a PoC, purplegirl, your children are much more likely to be in a situation where they are the only PoC, than my white child is to be in a situation where she is the only white child. I really get that, it is the privilege of being the majority that I am less likely to have to make this decision we are discussing, than you are.

However, I don't see what my putting my child in a situation where she is the only white child in a school would do to change that for the better, yk?
post #116 of 436
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama View Post
Yeah, I am kind of agreeing with loraxc on this. Actually, very much agreeing with loraxc.

We are not talking about ten percent white ppl here, as dictated by the OP we are talking about the ONLY white kid in the school. I would not put my child in that situation due to the social isolation. If my child were a PoC I would not put them in a situation where they were the only child of colour in an all white school, either. It's about the social isolation. Hell, I won't put my kid in the local school coz the kindergarten teacher is mean. Same thing.

I do get that as a PoC, purplegirl, your children are much more likely to be in a situation where they are the only PoC, than my white child is to be in a situation where she is the only white child. I really get that, it is the privilege of being the majority that I am less likely to have to make this decision we are discussing, than you are.

However, I don't see what my putting my child in a situation where she is the only white child in a school would do to change that for the better, yk?


It's not likely to change anything. I don't have a problem with people making choices based on what they think is best for their children or their lives. I do have a problem with people responding as if being in a school that is largely black and acting as if it a sentence of death. I want the best for my child too but I won't avoid situations because of the racial make-up. I don't think that all black automatically=all bad. I might not be addressing the op's question but some of the responses were pretty insensitive.
post #117 of 436
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplegirl View Post
I do have a problem with people responding as if being in a school that is largely black and acting as if it a sentence of death. I want the best for my child too but I won't avoid situations because of the racial make-up. I don't think that all black automatically=all bad. I might not be addressing the op's question but some of the responses were pretty insensitive.
I agree.
post #118 of 436
Except, change often starts with one person. If NO one ever steps outside their comfort zone, then change just doesn't happen.

I'm not saying sacrifice your children on an idealistic political altar, but there must be a middle ground somewhere here.
post #119 of 436
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aura_Kitten

ARGH this could lead to a rant and a half. If I had my choice ALL children would attend schools like that one strawbale Waldorf school featured in Mothering that one time.....
You are not talking about having a Waldorf curriculum for all children, though-- right? From what I know about Waldorf, there would be few (if any) accommodations made for POC and English language learners. Waldorf seems extremely Euro-centric.
post #120 of 436
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplegirl View Post
I won't avoid situations because of the racial make-up. [/B]
I admit, I would try. When we were house-hunting, we crossed one place off our list because the school population was about 90% white. I guess if it were the best option, I'd still do it, but it would not be a 1st choice.
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