I'm not sure what point you thought Limabean was trying to make that you are disagreeing with, Dinah. I agree with the Marcotte post in not liking that phrase, but I'm sort of confused on how it's germane to this discussion. My read on Limabean's post is that she's just pointing out that supporting someone else's choice to have an abortion=pro-choice. That is the definition of being pro-choice. You can be pro-choice while believing you would not choose an abortion for yourself (or would not choose one again). And this clarification of what pro-choice means is often necessary, imo, because a lot of people *do* seem to think that if they wouldn't have an abortion themselves, that means they're not pro-choice.
I am sorry that you regret your decision and feel like other people around you had problematic influences on you in regards to it.
I terminated a pregnancy in 2006, 10 weeks pregnant. I had partied pretty heavily, DH and I werent married yet and we were not ready for kids. I can't say Im happy I did it, or that I don't sometimes regret it, but I think it was the best decision at the time.
We chose to get married and have kids soon afterwards. I made it very clear to him that I would never do it again simply for the reasons we did it before. I would still terminate if something was wrong with the fetus that made the chances of survival slim- I simply cannot watch another child die.
Myra1, I would also bear in mind that RH Reality Check is a site for reproductive health advocates and activists, and that the advice contained in Marcotte's piece is aimed at this audience, not really the general population. It's a discussion of what language to use as a pro-choice advocate, specifically for pro-choice advocates. In that context, I agree with it. I don't think that she meant it to be extrapolated to mean that you or I or some other person should never randomly say in an unrelated discussion specifically about the subject that we wouldn't have an abortion ourselves.
No, I have never aborted. But I would if I found myself to be pregnant with a baby with serious problems. I am a peds RN who works with children with horrible quality of life issues. It's all over the spectrum, some are loved and are able to be comforted. Others are clearly having a miserable life. It is not my job to judge those parents, and I'm glad I am not in their shoes. But if I had a baby with certain conditions I would not hesitate to terminate the pregnancy or feel bad about it. I supported a friend through this situation.
I also would encourage that anyone who is against termination for any reason (and we all have the right to our opinions!), to strongly consider fostering and adopting the special needs babies that are born and saved. On my unit we get *lots* of NICU graduates with very special, complicated medical needs. They are hard to place. Their parents are unable to care for them in many cases. They come with trachs, ventilators, g-tubes, severe brain injuries, and require 24 hour care because they cannot even move and are at risk for bedsores. We have two long-term care facilities in my area for children. Yes, children live in these nursing homes. They deserve better.
I am pro-choice. I've never had to make that choice for myself personally. I will say that after 3 planned children and one very unexpected child that completely rocked our lives, if I should ever find out that despite permanent birth control measures, I was pregnant. I would not continue the pregnancy. Our family can not handle another child with the type of children we get or already have. The breaking point was reached long ago.