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*Our Nov. '05 independent toddlers*--July thread! - Page 2

post #21 of 287
Helen, shame on your MIL! I wish people would just keep their pie-holes shut! This morning, Brynn and I went to the post office to pick up our new Signing Time CDs, and we opened the package in the post office lobby. I showed her the cases, and she got really excited and started stomping her feet. Well, this old guy walked by right as she was doing that and said, "You'd better make her shape up!" or something like that. I didn't say anything because I totally couldn't figure out what he was talking about, and then I realized a minute later that he must have thought she was throwing a fit or something, and he needed to step in and give me advice about how to handle her!!! I wish I'd figured that out sooner because I sure would have loved to have told him to shut the fuck up, thanks. People are SO annoying.

Anyhoo! We had a busy and fun weekend. I don't remember what all we did, other than the fact that DH and I had a date on Sunday evening. It was so relaxing and nice! I am really digging this babysitting swapping we're doing with our friend! If any of you can swing it, I would definitely recommend it.

I'm not totally sure what we're doing tomorrow, but it may involve meeting up with Kavita, her DH, and Ella for an "old fashioned fourth festival" in our area. I would like Brynn to see the fireworks if possible. How bout y'all?

So here's a What-Would-You-Do scenario for your consideration:
A friend of mine (not very close, but someone I roommated with for one year of grad school) is getting married on August 4th in Tennessee, and we RSVP'd months ago that we would go. Since DH has started his new job, though, he's figured out that he would only be able to take one vacation day off for this little trip, making it a lot of driving and money for a wedding that I'm not totally motivated to go to (we won't know anyone other than the bride and groom). It wouldn't even be much of a mini-vacay for us, because we'd probably only have a few hours on Saturday and maybe a couple of hours on Sunday to do stuff that we want to do.

On the other hand, if I cancel going to the wedding, I could take Brynn on a little vacay to see two of my best friends; one in Chattanooga, and Littlemomma in Athens GA. Of course I would definitely prefer the latter! But I'm just wondering if it would be too horrible to back out of going to the wedding. I know my friend would be disappointed, but I also think she wouldn't even really notice if we weren't there. Ya know?

Any thoughts?

SKristina, so glad your landlord is being an awesome person and working with you!!

Aubrey, that is AWE.SOME. Seriously, that rocks!! I can't wait for us to have one of those nights!! Brynn's back to waking ~4 or more times per night, and I'm just attributing it to her two top molars coming in. Either way, it's been a hard week!

As for what our kids are calling the milk supply, Brynn calls it Milkie Time, or Mama Milkie, and she calls cow milk "cow milk." She never called it nursies or num-nums, but she does love to tell me what other babies call it. After we've spent time with Kavita and Ella, she will say, "I want num-nums, Mama. That's what Ella says."

And regarding the boob topic....UGH. Mine are about 34E, but I squoosh them into a 34DDD and still have some bubbling up out of the cup. Super attractive! My bras are pretty good - just Victoria's Secret Body by Victoria, I think. Underwire, lightly padded (so my nips don't show under t-shirts). No bells or whistles, which is how I like it. I'm just so sick of them! I told DH that after Brynn stops nursing and my breasts get smaller (which I *pray* they will), I will be able to get some sexy or cute bras! Actually though, I did see some nice plain ones at Frederick's of Hollywood (in my size, which is really hard to find) for like $24 each, so I should just get some already. I gave up on nursing bras LONG ago. I couldn't find *one* that fit me. I used to be a perfect 34C, and man I sure did have some awesome breasts in my past life! I kind of thought they were big before, but compared to now, they look tiny.

barcelona, that's great that you and DH had a movie date, and I *totally* understand the bittersweet feelings. It's heavy, huh? And wow about the possible !! I hope whatever way it turns out, you are at peace.

OK, have to go unload the rest of the groceries while she's napping.
post #22 of 287
Happy 4th to you all !!!
Amy, my MIL is 6 foot under, and is Skye's guardian angel- we can feel her in Skye's bedroom. This was MY mum Personally, I'd cancel the wedding if it's going to be that much hassle to get to, but invite the newly weds over for a weekend visit later in the year.
post #23 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by flapjack View Post

Zjande, Skye has no word for breastfeeding, she just throws herself into position, removes my clothes and looks up expectantly
Be back later, getting ready for the parade, but wanted to throw in a : That is hilarious, Helen!
post #24 of 287
Amy, I'd skip the wedding, too. I agree with you that she'll probably be disappointed, but otherwise will have PLENTY of other stuff to be concerned with. If your conscience is tugging at you, maybe just send a really nice or personalized wedding gift with a special note? I play out in my mind that scenario you described in the post office all the time. Mostly I hope that I'll give people puzzled or "you're crazy" looks, but sometimes I imagine trying to engage them in dialogue and watching them either become enlightened or slink off to their cars sorry to have said anything. I'm finding that I'm so sensitive to carrying around negative energy lately that I have to "practice" much mellower responses than I would have had in my more confrontational youth.

So about boobs, I am having a hardish time, too, feeling like these 18mo.+ nursing boobs are "me." It's so hard to separate yourself from your body, and especially hard to de-program all the negativity associated with anything BUT young, pert breasts. And I don't know if I posted about this as it was happening (it was during my crazy schoolyear), but my sister got a double masectomy earlier this year from breast cancer. And I look at her, and think, Wow, her choice was between survial and "perfect" boobs! And I know in her situation I would have made the same decision. So I'm trying hard to love my lumpy, saggy, heavy, wonky boobs for what they are and what they do for me instead of what I remember them as.

And on a "lighter" note (ha): We are indeed trying to track down some fireworks. I love fireworks, but I love them from a distance--we're among the folks who try to find the parking lot a little away from the park where you can see everything but not have to battle the crowds.

Kavita, Woody has spontaneously picked up "numnums" too! And we ONLY say real words for each food item. I wonder if it is a version of "some," because we do say that a lot for bites and such.

And we have a little noun/verb confusion with nursing. When he's ready to nurse, Woody points to or grabs my boob (not too happy about that part) and says, "Urse?" But then he'll point at my nipple and say, "urse," too, as in, that's what comes out. So I guess that's what we call the whole nursing/milk deal.
post #25 of 287
Amy - I'd ditch the wedding too. But I'm kind of anti-big-wedding anyhow. I expect my friends to be grateful to me for saving them money when I decline wedding invitations.

Kristina - wow you are brave, tackling reno projects like that with little ones around! And it sounds like Annette is a very secure little handful

Zjande - yay sleeping!

Teresa - I'm sorry about your sister, I hope she's doing ok. And just think, however wonky your boobs are, at least they're doing what they were designed for!

More on the boob thing: my boobs actually haven't changed noticeably since having a baby. That's not a good thing. They've always been saggy droopy jungle boobies. I'm just used to them now. Some days I think I'll get plastic surgery when I'm done nursing babies, some days I think I should accept them as part of me. But they preclude me wearing a lot of really cute clothes and that just seems mean. We don't have a very good relationship, my boobies and me.

BTW Rowan's word for nursing is "boobies". And this is totally my fault, it's what I've called it from the start. Frankly I don't care if she pipes up loudly in a public place asking for boobies. I'm all about reclaiming naughty words.

So our sort-of-news is that I have been sleeping with Rowan for the past 3 or 4 nights and - get this - actually getting enough sleep. We finally got around to pushing the bed against the wall - that certainly helps, I'm no longer worried about her falling out of bed - and I started taking a gravol or two before bed. I know it's bad. But it just knocks me out that little bit more so I don't wake up every time she turns over.

Last night was great. She slept soundly from 9 pm to 5:30 am. I went to bed at 10 and was out until 5:30 too, then we slept (more or less) all cuddled together until 7:30.

ETA: crap. I had a sneaking suspicion that this was the case... gravol has a similar effect on milk supply as other antihistamines. Well, so much for that.
post #26 of 287
hey babes and babes!

its july and so friggin hot. i dont think that there is any oxygen left to breathe. we are oin kamloops.. the big city around herer.. its almost a 1.5 hour drive from our small town of little fort im wsorking a ton at the motel/food stand. i hate it...ive never spent more time scrubbing toilets and sinks and tubs in my life.. but its a job and the kiddos come see me since its just a minuite away and then they get free icecream
its weird working away from home. actual;ly i really dont mind the cooking/icecream scooping.. but i have to do it all..so yeah.

i had a very bad moment last night when ngaio dumped an entire bowl of cereal on my lap at 10pm (after many hiurs of whining and other incidents..it wasnt a great day for us)and i threw a handful of wet cereal in her face. i feel like such a spazz. i was ready to turn myself into the police station for being a child abuser. i dont know what got into me at all. elwynn and ngaio both started to cry and yeah. i feel like a pretty big bad mom today. youi all dont have to flame me since im flaming myself enough.
sheesh. somtimes i wonder where my sanity is.

so....thats my sad update. today is a better day.

love you all.

oh yeah..and ngaio is night weened!! and mostly sleeping in her own bed. YAY!
post #27 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaFern View Post
youi all dont have to flame me
No judgment, Mama. Not from your comrades! Woody stabbed me in the back of the thigh with a sharp metal edge a few days ago (which I realize I shouldn't have left in his reach) while I was at the sink doing dishes and I actually whirled around and roared at him--crazy eyed, red faced, big voiced scream--both out of pain and frustration.

Sometimes, like when I'm reading something really heady, it's easy to forget that I'm a primate doing the best I can with no tribe and no fur. Other times, mostly toddler times, it's not!

Spughy, what about a glass of wine before bed? Sometimes I do that to help me fall asleep if I can't get my brain to wind down, but I've never noticed if it helps me stay asleep...
post #28 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by honeytree
Sometimes, like when I'm reading something really heady, it's easy to forget that I'm a primate doing the best I can with no tribe and no fur. Other times, mostly toddler times, it's not!
I love this! SO true...

Fern: I've had those moments too. I think we all have. Especially when there were sleep woes or transitions happening in our life patterns. Right before Isa started sleeping through the night, we had some ROUGH days. But it's all good now, we both grew out of it!

Hi all! Happy Independence day... today, celebrate how you are personally independent... you are a happy and free being, CHEERS!
post #29 of 287
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by spiritmomma View Post
Fern: I've had those moments too. I think we all have. Especially when there were sleep woes or transitions happening in our life patterns.
Yep. Count me in. I have had some moments that were very, uh, not gentle. I think the best we can do is try to be gentle with not only our kids but ourselves when that sort of thing happens. I think you just have to try to apologize, then kind of put it behind you and move on and parent the best you can.
post #30 of 287
She used to call it "milk", but lately asks for "nursing". And "other side"

And we're also co-sleeping and nursing to sleep; though DH puts her to sleep on evenings that I work (or tries... the last couple evenings have been a struggle). If I'm at home, though, there is no sleep without nursing down. And since we're talking about sleep, she woke and nursed 10 times the other night. No kidding. We have "good" nights though, where we only nurse three or four times... I keep fantasizing about nightweaning, but I think I'm too tired to do anything right now.

Fern, we've all been there, I think.
post #31 of 287
Winter's word for nursing is "booby". And he emphatically signs milk with both hands, and just in case I didn't get the point with all of that, he will go and get my nursing pillow and put it in my lap for me. He doesn't nurse to sleep every night. Sometimes he'll nurse before bed but go "night night" with Jim, who rubs his head until he falls asleep. It is the sweetest thing ever. Some nights if he's really tired he will fall asleep on my nursing pillow.
I'm having a hard time being sleepy with all the fireworks still going on. I really should go to bed but I just know that everyone will be sleeping in tomorrow considering they all went to bed at 11.
post #32 of 287
fern, you and ngaio have enough changes going on in your lives right now. She'll forgive you.
FWIW, I did exactly the same thing with one of the boys, but in reverse. They threw beans in my face, so I put the bowl, upside down, on their head. At the time it seemed like a totally rational thing to do- and he giggled for hours :
DiD, I think it's so cool that you and Winter got your nursing relationship back.
Our news? I have a tummy bug. Can't stop throwing up, even when the other end needs to be sitting on the toilet, but it's mostly dry retching. I was talking to Alex about the morning sickness last night- he called me into his room to ask if I was OK when he heard me throwing up- and I told him about the time I was sick all over a tablefull of chocolate muffins when I was pregnant with him. So he thought about this for a minute, and then declared I was the best mummy ever Isaac is off school today too ( with a bad case of "can't find my reading book-itis" I suspect- ostensibly a tummy bug)
post #33 of 287
Oh Fern, you are so not the only one! I had a really bad moment a couple of weeks ago that still haunts me a little bit. I think we all have our limits! I just try to remind myself that the good outweighs the bad. So are you working during the day, Fern? Is Tim taking care of the kiddos while you're gone? Sorry it's so sucky for you, at least the cleaning part.

Helen, sorry about your tummy. : Is it an illness, or the belly bean? I hope you get to feeling better soon Mama.

God, Mel - I thought we were having it bad in the sleep department. Brynn's gotten back into the wake-every-two-hours routine over the past week and a half, and I'm starting to feel pretty crappy about it! At least we're not alone! I thought it was the poison ivy and/or the teeth, but motrin and benadryl haven't had any effect on the issue, so maybe it's just a habit she's gotten back into. I just don't know. So I'm curious: whose kids are sleeping through the night these days? Are we in the minority for still having several wakings?

Spughy, that's wonderful that you are *finally* getting some good sleep. Hooray!

We had a really nice holiday yesterday. We hung out around the house all morning and DH cleaned like a mad-man, which was fabulous! Later in the afternoon, we went to a Fourth festival, where we met up with Kavita, her DH, and Ella. Something unexpected and wonderful happened there too...the local Waldorf school and one of the (eight!) local Montessori schools both had informational booths set up, so I got to spend a lot of time talking with both about their different approaches and programs. I have to say, I think I had a Major Life Moment while talking to the Montessori director. We totally *connected* and even talked about the possibility of me coming to work at their school at some point after my PhD is finished. It was just so exciting and inspiring that I couldn't stop thinking about it last night!!

We're really lucky here in L'ville in that we have so many awesome choices for progressive education, but I am having such a hard time trying to figure out which of the two (Waldorf or Montessori) would be the best for Brynn. Of course, either would be fabulous, but given that we have both options, I'm totally agonizing over it! We are going to the parent-child program at Waldorf this fall, and I plan to read a lot more about both programs as well. I just hope that the choice will become clear to me as the end of the year approaches. I guess my intuition is saying that Waldorf is the right choice for this year, but Montessori is where we need to be after that. So we'll see!

Thanks for the input about the wedding. I think I am going to just have to deal with the unpleasantness of canceling that trip, and go visit my friends instead. And give the bride and groom a really nice gift.
post #34 of 287
Ellie calls my right breast "milk" and my left breast "side" (as in other side). I had never realized it, but I guess I usually offer the right breast first.

Ellis is too freaking cute for words. Don't believe me? Check it out! If you want to read the whole blog about our fun day yesterday (including more pics), its right here.

I'm off to take the kids shopping and to meet Grandma for lunch! Have I mentioned how much I love living near family now?
post #35 of 287
Sleep is still hit or miss with us, but a million times better then Annette was at this age so no complaints from me. Last night Annette and dh fell asleep together in our bed then after she got moved I got Joseph down there. Later on when I was headed to bed I went to move him to his bed where he usually starts the night and he went nuts. So back in our bed it was for the night. I go for whatever gets all of us the most sleep. I don't think he has ever slept the entire night through, but it's not a big issue for us. I rarely notice when he gets in to our bed and there are probably times when he nurses at night that I don't notice. An interesting side effect to being so hot I was sleeping without a shirt. I've woken up a few times with a little guy latched on when I thought he was still in his bed On the heat note I'm trying to work out schedules with a guy from freecycle to pick up 2 ceiling fans. Those should be a huge help on our electric bill and hopefully mask the sound of dh's snoring.

On words for nursing. Joseph usually goes with mmm mmm or mmm mmmies. He has on occasion also asked for more when wanting to nurse. I think his favorite is either banging me on the chest or just attempting to pull up my shirt and help himself. However both those behaviours are highly discouraged.

The shower/bathroom redo is coming along and as the worst dusty parts are done Joseph and I are at home today. I have decided that hotels and toddlers do not mix. From dinner time to the time I get him in bed I was in a constant circle chasing Joseph around the room so he wouldn't destroy things. Setting the phone to hands free and listening to the dial tone is apperantly a fascinating activity. As are opening and closing all the drawers/doors. It's important to make sure the top dead bolt is thrown, not because there might be weird people at the hotel, but so that the toddler can't escape. I also attempted to win the worst mommy of the year award while at the pool. The first thing I did once in the gated pool area was put Joseph's life vest on him then worked on getting things sorted out and floaties on Annette. Joseph decided to investigate the shallow end of the pool and I stood next to him and watched him as he fell in. As soon as he went in I pulled him out by the handle on the top of the part that goes behind his head, but I'm glad the pool was empty. I doubt most people would understand letting a toddler figure out on their own that some things simply aren't a good idea. After that tumble in we also worked on laying back so the life vest would hold him up and he learned that really quick. Both the kids had a blast splashing around and can't wait for our next trip to a pool or the beach.
post #36 of 287
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Amy* View Post
Later in the afternoon, we went to a Fourth festival, where we met up with Kavita, her DH, and Ella. Something unexpected and wonderful happened there too...
Oh, for a moment there I thought you were talking about the fact that our husbands are apparently falling in love with each other and planning to give up their jobs to become farmers together! DH has always had a fantasy about having an organic farm, and since Amy and clan are also planning to buy some land and grow food, etc., my DH and her DH were totally talking up a storm about gardening and agriculture almost the entire time they were hanging out together at the festival! I overheard them having a very excited discussion about the relative merits of horse vs. cow manure as fertilizer! After we left the festival we went to the house of DH's director for a 4th of july party, then later we were hungry and went to an Italian place for dinner. Somewhere in the middle of our salad DH mentions, "I'm having lunch with Jason tomorrow." I was like, "Who?" thinking that he was talking about some work colleague that I haven't heard about yet and then I suddenly realized what he was talking about and was like, "Jason as in Amy's husband?" Yes, our husbands are doing man-socializing without us! Very scary . . . .
post #37 of 287
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by s_kristina View Post
I have decided that hotels and toddlers do not mix. From dinner time to the time I get him in bed I was in a constant circle chasing Joseph around the room so he wouldn't destroy things. Setting the phone to hands free and listening to the dial tone is apperantly a fascinating activity. As are opening and closing all the drawers/doors. It's important to make sure the top dead bolt is thrown, not because there might be weird people at the hotel, but so that the toddler can't escape.
Oh yeah, been there! This is Ella's favorite--I actually ended up unplugging the phone and letting her have at it! My other hotel trick is to request a crib!! Quite honestly, it saved us from going crazy a couple of times when were were out here looking for a house! We put all her toys in it and let her sit in it and put on cartoons! Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures! lol! She was actually pretty happy in there, too. I never had her actually sleep in it, but if they give you the "portacrib" kind it also can be shoved against the side of the bed and then you can shove the big heavy chair they usually have in hotel rooms against the other side of the crib, and voila! instant bed rail for cosleeping!
post #38 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kavita View Post
Oh, for a moment there I thought you were talking about the fact that our husbands are apparently falling in love with each other and planning to give up their jobs to become farmers together!
Bwah!! I know!! Jason usually asks me to come have lunch with him on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but not today! I think it's fabulous though because I certainly don't give a crap (pun intended) about discussing cow manure. Hee hee.
post #39 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kavita View Post
\Yes, our husbands are doing man-socializing without us! Very scary . . . .
That is SO COOL.

What is with toddlers and phones, anyhow??? Rowan tries to "talk" on anything that looks remotely like a phone. My MP3 player, for instance, or a calculator... and whenever we ask her who she's talking to, it's always "Uncle Ashley". . Put a REAL phone up to her head with someone on the other end, and she clams up entirely.

As far as sleep goes, Rowan sleeps mostly through the night pretty consistently now, as long as she's in the big bed with mama or dada. And has NO sheets on her. She wakes up for boobies at about 5:30 then goes back to sleep for another 2 hours or so. My issue with sleeping with her isn't that SHE wakes up, it's that I wake up when she moves. I am a horrible, horrible sleeper. And she has a nasty habit of sleeping perpendicularly on the bed with either her head or feet in my tummy. So I need chemical help to stay asleep under those conditions.
post #40 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kavita View Post
Oh, for a moment there I thought you were talking about the fact that our husbands are apparently falling in love with each other and planning to give up their jobs to become farmers together! DH has always had a fantasy about having an organic farm, and since Amy and clan are also planning to buy some land and grow food, etc., my DH and her DH were totally talking up a storm about gardening and agriculture almost the entire time they were hanging out together at the festival!
OK, that's it. I am officially jealous. All our friends with whom we can talk obsessively about sustainability and organic agriculture are older with grown children, and all our friends with young children are totally not into it!!! Who knew--in Louisville!?!? (Do y'all have a food co-op there? That's currently my main criteria for moving...)
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