Q. for homebirthing mamas

[smokeylo]

How did/do you let your fam. know that you're planning to HB? I'm 6 weeks in almost and haven't yet met with midwives or anything, but I'm starting to get questions from my parents about when I'm seeing my "doctor." I don't want to make a big deal out of it, and I don't want to argue with them or get defensive about it, either. Any advice at all?

[bloominmamas]

I don't plan on telling anybody but close friends about homebirthing until after the baby is born. Pretty much the whole family knows I saw a CNM with baby #1, so I will just tell them I am seeing another CNM for this pregnancy and leave it at that, it won't be a lie since my MW is a CNM. I seriously don't want ANY kind of debate or discussion about it so I just won't tell em

[azyre]

hehehe my parents asked me twice if I'd seen a doctor with the "tone". The hilarious thing is that despite my intentions last time to have an intervention free birth, it was the full works, and even then I couldn't start my care until 11 weeks!!!

I told them I'd not be seeing a doctor, was admonished and I told them I'd be seeing a midwife. That seemed to pacify them! They only suspect the non-vax thing, I have never confirmed it for them, and I think this tips them off LOL

MIL and FIL are an unknown quantity. My MIL was born at home, as were all but 1 of her siblings. The last was born at a hospital after the child before died in their first week, I have enquired after the circumstances when she spoke about it but she doesn't know what happened, so I don't know if that clouds her idea of homebirth. The worse they'll do if they disagree is bitch behind our backs to my SIL who will promptly let me know anyway LOL

It'd be nice if everyone was excited for our plans but we'll have the next best thing, respectful silence with at worse a few concerned questions chucked in for good measure!

[TrishWSU]

I would probably just say no one will schedule an appoinment before 12 weeks for now. After you find your mwand family asks about what the "doctor" says, just fill in "The midwife says..." and keep going like it's nobody's business ('cause really it's not.)

I wouldn't even discuss birthing plans with anyone you feel is going to give you grief over it. If it comes up or somebody is really pressuring you just tell them matter-o-fact like that both you and the baby are healthy and beyond that the subject is closed. Of course, I am a don't give a crap about what other people think kind of person, so maybe it's easier for me.

[SamuraiMom]

I agree with Trish, tell them 12 weeks. I was surpised when I told my family and they were supportive. Would you be surprised if yours were? If they are not, let them know that this your decision and there is no discussion about it. And if they continue to be concerned, send them info via email, backing up HB. That way you won't have to be involved in a confontation that will only stress you out, and let the info speak for itself. Congratulations BTW!!!

[smokeylo]

Thanks, ladies. For now I'm doing the "no one will take appts yet" thing. I appreciate your input! I love this board!

[NamastePlatypus]

WELLLLL>> mom and dad are thinking I am a nut for wanting to do it natural again but at HOME... they say I am crazy like my aunt whooooo is the only family memember behind me on this! DH is not TOTALLLY on board yet but I am reading to him out of Gentle Birth Choices and it is making it easier for him. DH won't tell his family: but when I talked to his Grandma the day before I knew that I was preggers I was saying my views on it and everything and she was : behind me 200%