Kids Are Worth It Book Club

[transformed]

I am reading Kids are Worth it and I absolutley love it. Would anyone care to start a thread talking about learning how to parent in this way?

I already have tons of questions and I am only on chapter 3...But I love the ideas and I am just going to have to figure out how exactly alot of it all works. (IE: I dont know how to respect my childs need to run around a restaurant, its not safe...but you would then have to use disciplinary techniques that are manipulative....So then what? LOL)

See!

Love to hear from fans of the book!

Jenny

[Telle Bear]

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT.... I love this book. I also have a ton of questions....

there was one part that I started to disagree with a little, I 'm going to go back and see if I can find it to see what you think.....


Most of it though is right on and I am trying to put the extra effert to change some of my on family's cycle....not easy work!!

[ani'smommy]

I loved this book, too. I'd love to read it again and discuss it.

[transformed]

Well I am only on like page 60, but I am completley on board with the respect factor. I hate manipulating my kids, in ANY way. I dont even like the praise thing that much. I feel like I am always trying to get them to do what I want. (Which I am)

But some things arent clear yet, hopefully they will be later on in the book like "My child is telling me he is not tired yet he has bags under his eyes, Its 10:00 and I NEED dh time, I am going to crash in 15 minutes..." So what do I do? Threaten to make him go in his own room. I know its terrible to threaten him when he is already pretty uncomfortable but at some point mommy needs some sanity too. And I am about to have 3 kids, if I am meeting their needs all the time (which I am-because they are too little to meet their own needs!) then I burn out.

I am dealing with depression right now and so my parenting is actually sickening at the moment. My kids are so neglected right now and I really need to make some changes. I am thankful I found this book but I hope its not more thann I can chew.

Dh has a hard time with punitive stuf becase he belives he was parented correctly with traditional methods and I just think its abusive to manipulate kids in any way. So we will have a struggle there! I think he is open to learn but the prob is he wont or cant read a book. (He has adhd still and doesnt do anything for it so he just really isnt a reader....cant sit still long enough, LOL) The prob with that is when I share with him, he feels like I am correcting him. He loves us though, and we are going to be committed to raising healthy kiddos!

Jenny

[transformed]

Here is a IRL question

How do you get "natural consequences" to work?

I am going to give you an example about how I TRY (God knows, LOL) But natural consequences dont nessicaraly work.

ds, 4, just spilled a bunch of food on the floor. Natural consequence? He has to pick them up. He says "No."

I usually try a couple of times of telling him that its his responsibility to clean up.

Then come threats which usually work.

Or time out. Again, this tactic works.

Or spankings (on a bad day)

So how is the natural consequence actually working?

[fremontmama]

I love this book too. It is my favorite parenting book so far that I have read. It's been over a year since I read it though, so I will have to re-read it to discuss specifics.

Although, I do remember her saying that she felt toddlers and young kids are too young to make their own decisions about when to go to bed, etc, so she gives them choices like, "It's time for bed now, would you like to wear the red or blue pajamas?" rather than what time do you want to go to bed.

The thing she said that really resonated with me was not to make a battle out of something or say no unless it was a danger to them or others and taught them to disrespect others or themselves. She had a snappier catchphrase, I cant remember what it was, but it made a lot of sense to me.

Her and Scott Noelle of www.enjoyparenting.com are my favorite parenting resources.