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Calliope Ava - Page 2

post #21 of 127
Keeping you in our hearts and thoughts and prayers...

post #22 of 127
Thread Starter 
Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers. It is difficult to come back and read this thread because then I remember everything all over again. That is probably why my initial post is so short, it hurts to remember. I wrote in her journal for about a week after her birth but just can't bring myself to rewrite everything online.
post #23 of 127
I am so so sorry for your loss.
post #24 of 127
I am so very sorry for your loss.
post #25 of 127
I'm so sorry, mama.

for your beautiful baby girl
post #26 of 127
I'm so sorry for your loss. Many as you heal.

post #27 of 127
My condolences to you. Much like our experience with our dear Chloe. Hugs and prayers.
post #28 of 127
I'm sorry is never enough.... for Calliope Ava and love & light to your family
post #29 of 127
I am so so sorry.
post #30 of 127
post #31 of 127
post #32 of 127
post #33 of 127
I'm so sorry for your loss.
post #34 of 127
post #35 of 127
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. A great forum is the SHARE boards. It's filled with mom's who have lost a child and have helped me so much. You are in my thoughts and prayers mama.

Blessings,

Denise
post #36 of 127
Thread Starter 
I'm feeling a lot better today so maybe it is as good a time as any to post more information about Calliope. I'm getting to where I can think of her and smile instead of crying. She was perfect and beautiful in every way. She was born at 40 wks 5 days, weighed 7 lbs 8 oz, had big feet and the beginnings of my husband's nose (some people say you can't tell at birth but she definitely took after her dad). She was simply lovely and I wanted to hold her forever. The nurses were wonderful and took so many photos for us to keep. They even had a handmade blanket for her. I put her in a little pair of knit shorties I had made for her. Of course, they were pants on her! I had made a matching hat but I just couldn't bear to hide all that hair so I kept it off for the pictures. I will love you and miss you forever, sweetie. Calliope

Thank you for letting me know about the Share boards, proudhsmommy. I remember reading your posts. I wanted to say that I posted Calliope's picture because I thought your Ruby's photos at her memorial service were beautiful. Thank you so much.
post #37 of 127
She is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing her picture.
post #38 of 127
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby.



Calliope Ava
post #39 of 127
Thread Starter 
I feel like I have passed a milestone, for loss of a better word. After Calliope's birth I was disgusted looking at my maternity clothes, couldn't wait to just get rid of them. It was like I saw my own failure in them. With my first dd I saved all my clothes, lovingly packing them away for the "next time" (which never happened because I was too big to fit them when I got pregnant with Calliope).

Somehow I felt that these clothes were cursed.

Then the other day I was looking at this stack of clothes in my closet and I realized that my feelings had changed. My anger at the clothes is gone and I felt guilt instead. Calliope was not a curse and I feel grateful that she was with me for those 9 months growing. Those clothes are a small piece of her and I will save them for the next "next time" just like I did for my first dd.

I've also been discovering (and rediscovering) many new areas of MDC too. Now that I can't go back to the I'm Pregnant section anymore I have since found a lot of other interesting MDC forums.
post #40 of 127
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