LDS Mamas and Papas #43 - Page 7

[Leiahs]

Thanks for the input on the food issue, you guys! (And if there is any more, I will certainly continue to listen!)

I have to admit that I asked this same question on a positive parenting list. I ended up getting basically scolded for expecting such a young child to eat (at least try?) a dinner she didn't actively choose for herself. I don't mind the idea that giving her more active choices in mealtimes would make meals more attractive to eat, but the delivery method sure hurt, when all I was doing was trying to fix a problem and create a more gentle environment for our family. I'm glad to see that there are those here who also have some rules or basic expectations from their even younger children about mealtimes. I do want to stop the habit of giving her bread to help her get to sleep at night (the quiet time is just too big of a temptation for me!), so I may try giving her dinner plate to her, next time that happens. She did well with eating tonight, thank goodness!

Back on topic of patriarchal blessings, the thing said about someone who got a 2nd blessing and it being exactly the same made me remember something odd about mine. I remember very vividly, when I was given the blessing, being given a warning about driving at night, and keeping the doors locked at all times. Freaked me out. When I got the written blessing in the mail several weeks later, that part was not in there. (I do remember being taught that the patriarchs can and do edit the blessing as they are writing it down after the fact.) But now I can't ever decide if I am meant to take that warning seriously or not. Although, I figure it's not bad advice anyway, so if I remember it, I lock my doors. And then get mad when I'm done driving and can't get out of the car, lol!!

[holyhelianthus]

i'm with Becky re: Patriarchal Blessings. when DH got his the Patriarch kept saying child "your child *this*" etc. we had two children at the time. it creeped us out! we didn't want to think that one might die. we talked about it the whole way home. when DH got it in the mail "child" had been changed to "children". i think his wife let him know we had more than one.

[Kelly1216]

I'm so confused about my patriartical blessing. I feel like I'm not fulfilling my blessing b/c it mentions things that I will do with my life that involve I'm assuming a career path that I'm very obviously not on. I feel like I'm not fulfilling what the Lord had in store for me. Breaks my heart, but I'm not sure if I even understand it right, let alone know how to fix it.
My husbands, however is much more exciting and deep. It pretty much says his father made a choice (in the pre-existance, or whatever) to make a great sacrifice (he died when dh was a baby) in order for my husband to be a member of the church. Because of his father's death, dh's mom had a friend introduced her to the church. Dh believes if his father had lived, he would not be a member today, and we wouldn't be married, etc. Deep stuff.

[NewCrunchyDaddy]

I don't want to be the wet blanket that rains on our patriarchial blessing parade of picnics (wha? ) but we need to be careful about what we share about our patriarchial blessings. We have been cautioned/counseled by the First Presidency that we need to be careful with whom we share the details of our blessings, as they are extraordinarily sacred and personal. Spouses, parents and children are - for lack of a better term - "givens" when it comes to sharing details, according to the counsel, but beyond that, we need to be prudent with whom we share. Not that we aren't all friends here, but we do need to remember that this is a semi-public forum and these details might not be things that we want to spread around. Just a word of caution.

Now, that is not to say that we should not be discussing them at all, I think it is a wonderful topic and something that is very relevant to what we do, how we act and how we make choices as not only individuals, but as parents as well. I know that in my blessing, it makes specific promises about my children and how to run my household (I say "my" not because I dominate Alisa but because I wasn't married when I recieved my blessing). I haven't always remembered that counsel, and things have suffered because of it. However, when I do remember the things that the Lord instructed me on in that particular part of my blessing, I can see how I have been helped in those matters.

Also, Kelly, just because we can't see ourselves on the path of the blessing, now, doesn't mean that it won't occur. Not to say you will change your mind about a business career in the near future, but sometimes these things are fulfilled in ways we couldn't possibly imagine. For instance, my blessing promised me that my mission would be "a difficult one."

I got my blessing at the age of 15/16, roughly at the time that the Berlin Wall came down (there, those with math skills can figure out my age ) and Communism and the Soviet Union was crumbling and the Iron Curtain opened. For the next 3-4 years, we were certain that I would be serving in some Eastern European country where everything would be new and the going would be difficult because of the spectre of Communism.

When I turned 19, I got my mission call to the Brasil Porto Alegre North Mission. Quite a far cry from Eastern Europe, and with the relative ease of the work in South America, and Brasil in particular, it was hard to see how that part of my Patriarchial Blessing would be fulfilled. How can my mission in Brasil - of all places - be difficult?

Looking back, now, it is obvious what the Lord meant. At about my half-way mark, I had to have surgery on my toe and I got pnuemonia at about the same time, and was afflicted with chronic bronchitis for the next 12 months. I was confined to my bed for about two months (while recuperating from surgery and pnuemonia), while trying to train a new Elder and while having been just called to be a District Leader. Impossible. I lost nearly 80 pounds, and when I came home, I weighed just over 100 pounds soaking wet. My clothes just hung on me. With all due respect, I looked like a concentration camp survivor. Simply cadaverous. It was one of the most difficult periods of my life. I had no energy, I had no appetite, I had a hard time keeping food down, I was constantly sick, I could not - in short - keep up the rigorous schedule of a missionary. Many was the time I was confined to our apartment with one of the ward's priests as a companion while my companion went out with another priesthood holder to keep our appointments.

It was truly "a difficult [mission]." However, the other part of the blessing concerning my mission was also fulfilled. I was told that even though it would be difficult, it would also be rewarding. It was ... in spades. The work went forward magnificently, regardless of my illness, and I was - inspite of my flagging body - able to witness the acceptance of the Gospel by numerous people. I was one of the most spiritually fulfilling times of my life, as well as being the lowest point - physically - for me to date.

So, long story short, often we do not see immediately how the blessings in our Patriarchial Blessing could be fulfilled ... but as long as we remain on the straight and narrow path, all promises will be fulfilled. Also, there is the possibility that we may be misinterrpreting our blessing because of our finite minds (as was the case in my example). Another possibility is that we need to remember that the next life (Resurrection and life in the Celestial Kingdom) is also a valid point in time for the promises in our Patriarchial Blessings to be fulfilled. As the saying goes: If not in this life, then in the next.

Sorry for the novel. I'll yield the floor to someone else now.

[LionTigerBear]

Originally Posted by Leiahs

Do I move dinner earlier when she's saying she's hungry for a snack, and not have DH involved in dinner time?

Yes. The alternative would be to make her eat when she's not hungry, and of course that's not a healthy habit to teach. Little ones can't hold their pee very well, and they can't hold their appetites very well either. They need to pee when they need to pee, and they need to eat wehn they need to eat.

Do I let her make choices about what dinner will be (um, overdose on macaroni or pizza, anyone?)?

No, well, she can have some input sometimes, that would be fair, but she isn't going to be making decisions with all of the information you have, so to secede the decision-making to her would be a mess.

Do I just say "No, I'm sorry you didn't eat your dinner when we tried to work so hard with you, but you'll have to wait till morning to eat?"

No, that would be harsh and unkind. She's only 4.

Do I stop expecting her to eat dinner at all and just try to work around it? None of those options sound particularly good. What would you do?

Just feed her when she's hungry, whether it's a prescribed mealtime or not. Try to accomodate her desires and hungers within reason, letting her know what her healthy options are for food. I have a picky eater too, and I know it can be hard, but I never force him to eat at any time, and if he's hungry at bedtime, what's wrong with letting him eat something healthy in bed? Of course, I'm not a short order cook, and if he requests mac and cheese at the last minute (we make it from scratch) I tell him no. I say "these are your options" and he picks something that I can get quickly for him.

I don't think my older ds ever actually eats dinner with us, although he's always welcome too. Dinner time is more about spending time with family, than about everyone eating necessarily.

[LionTigerBear]

Originally Posted by NewCrunchyDaddy

Sorry for the novel. I'll yield the floor to someone else now.

No, thank you for sharing that, NCD!



I have also heard the stories of people who had to get a second blessing and it was almost exactly the same!

[holyhelianthus]

Originally Posted by NewCrunchyDaddy

(I say "my" not because I dominate Alisa but because I wasn't married when I recieved my blessing).

suuuuure, NCD.

i am having the hardest time with my talk. i'm sure it's because every time i sit down to work on it i get the THUD from something being pulled from a shelf or the "MOOOOOOOOOMMEEEEEEEEE!!!!" coming from my two oldest. : i feel like i am never going to get it done!

[jmcqabigler]

hi frogleymom I saw you at the hillsboro la leche mtg on monday I think i thought I would say hi. I'm mindy I have 3 boys 8 5 2 and am hoping for another baby sometime in the next year. WE live in St helens oregon but both me and my hubby are from utah. I have viewed this thread a few times but never posted. but was very excited when i found a mcd form for lds parents

[NewCrunchyDaddy]

Originally Posted by magstphil

i am having the hardest time with my talk. i'm sure it's because every time i sit down to work on it i get the THUD from something being pulled from a shelf or the "MOOOOOOOOOMMEEEEEEEEE!!!!" coming from my two oldest. : i feel like i am never going to get it done!

What's your topic?

[jmcqabigler]

[QUOTE=DucetteMama21842;8560075]Just wanted to bounce on over and ask for prayers. I had my fine needle aspiration/biopsy on the thyroid nodule in my neck today. I did it without the pain meds too! Which was my goal because I was pregnant and knew that even lidocaine can reach my baby. They didn't get very many cells though- mostly fluid, so please say prayers that the cells they did get are enough to determine a definete "yes it's cancer" or "no it's not cancer." It would be appreciated mamas and papas!


I had this excact same thing 12 years ago they did the needle biopsy and then that was not enough info so then they did a thyriod biopsy actual surgery where they removed part of my thyriod. that was negative also but later I realized both my grandmother and mom had enlarged thyroids my grandmother had hers removed but I do not remember if it was cancerous or not this was around the 40's so I do not know if they evan did cancer screening then or if it was correct or just removed just in case. and my moms was just enlarged but nothing done about it. So check you family history if you do not get a definate answer before you have any surgery. I wish I had done that it may have helped avoid the surgery. Good luck I know it was very scary for me I can't imagine if I had been pregnant.

[holyhelianthus]

Originally Posted by NewCrunchyDaddy

What's your topic?

"If Ye Be Willing and Obedient"

[Kelly1216]

Thanks, NCD for your reply. It was very thought provoking!

Maggie, good luck! I have no advice. I stink at talks. I normally read a lot of quotes, and very litte original content! Not the best way to do it, but it's what I got!

[Leiahs]

Maggie, btw, about your talk - I love your idea for the opening line It would definitely grab my attention in a positive way, and if I didn't already know you well, make you feel like a real person to me - I think it just might be a perfect talk for you to give. I know I would listen to you with all the attention I could give! I hope you can find some quiet time to work on it

[holyhelianthus]

thanks so much Becky!

okay, so here's my talk. please critique it for me!! i really need some input.


Good afternoon Brothers and Sisters
You know when Brother L handed me the First Presidency message from the July ’95 Ensign entitled “If Ye Be Willing and Obedient” I couldn’t help but notice the underlined “willing” and the underlined “obedient”. These being fairly new concepts to me this topic really did have my name written all over it. There have truly been spiritual blessings in preparing this talk.

So what exactly does being willing and obedient entail? In the First Presidency message the Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley related two stories of two separate Old Testament Prophets who without question willing obeyed the Lord where some, in fact most, would hesitate and approach such duties with apprehension at best. The stories were first of Samuel who even in adolescence showed his unyielding obedience to the Lord and willingness to serve Him with the simple answer found in 1Samuel 3:10 “Speak; for thy servant heareth” Samuel later went on to declare to Saul what we can find in 1Samuel 15:22 “To obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams”
The Prophet goes on to relay the story of Elijah and his warning to King Ahab of drought and famine coming upon the land. Of this he says:

“But Ahab scoffed. And the Lord told Elijah to go and hide himself by the brook Cherith, that there he should drink of the brook, and that he would be fed by the ravens. The scripture records a simple and wonderful statement about Elijah: “So he went and did according unto the word of the Lord” (1 Kgs. 17:5).

There was no arguing. There was no excusing. There was no equivocating. Elijah simply “went and did according unto the word of the Lord.” And he was saved from the terrible calamities that befell those who scoffed and argued and questioned.”
There is ample inspiration to be found in the lives of the Prophets when it comes to living a willing and obedient life through the gospel. Jonah even gives a prime example of what not to do.


But why be willing and obedient?
Plainly put “Obedience is the first law of Heaven” but to expound upon that
D&C 64:34 reads “Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind; and the willing and obedient shall eat the good of the land of Zion in these last days”
By being willing and obedient to the Lord we can receive numerous blessings. The best of which is eternal life.
D&C 14:7-
“And, if you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God.”
There are blessings we do not have to wait to receive but that we can receive here and now. The blessing of the Spirit is first in my mind. In the October of ’95 General Conference Joseph B Wirthlin had this to say:
“To open the windows of heaven, we must conform our will to God’s will. Diligent, enduring obedience to God’s laws is the key that opens the windows of heaven. Obedience enables us to be receptive to the mind and will of the Lord.”
The Spirit cannot reside where it is not welcome.
We can also not partake of the blessings of the Atonement if we still are living in disobedience. Repentance is not words alone but also our actions. This includes our willingness and obedience to comply to change both in the flesh and in our hearts. I am reminded of the picture of Christ knocking on a knobless door waiting for us to answer.
We cannot do our duty to our Brothers and Sisters here on Earth if we do not first do our duty to the Lord. Certain levels of disobedience can restrict us from both giving and receiving the blessings of a calling- through official action of the church or from the loss of guidance from the Spirit. At first glance that might be a good thing to some but I would be hard-pressed to find a latter-day saint who has not benefited spiritually, and maybe even more, from a calling.
In the message I was given the Prophet relates the story of the proud captain of the Syrian host, Naaman the leper. He went to the Prophet Elisha to be healed and when he was told to wash in Jordan 7 times he was insulted and refused. After the pleading of his servants he finally decided to do what it was Elisha had counseled and went and dipped himself in Jordan seven times and was cured. Of this Gordon B Hinckley says:
“Sometimes it is the very assignment we would avoid that gives us a great blessing”


Besides the obvious of being able to receive all these blessings from remaining obedient to the Lord and His commandments there is also another important factor to take into account- the rough road of disobedience. Isaiah 1: 19-20 reads: “If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land:
But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it”
I like to shake things up a bit so I saved the introduction of myself and my family for now. I’m Margaret or Maggie Phillips, whichever, and Robbie and I have been married for going on 4 years now. We were introduced in high school and have been going strong ever since. We have three lovely little ladies- Lily, Mable, and Olive and no, we’re not too concerned about ever having a boy. Where Robbie is a fairly recent convert I was raised in the church. Somewhat. We had our bouts of inactivity and activity but the latter was rarer. The point is I knew the principles of the gospel and what it is the Lord asks of us. There was a time in my teens where I was a faithful member attending seminary regularly and having private prayer and scripture study daily. But then, seemingly overnight, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed- to put it lightly. I ended up going against what I had been taught in regards to the gospel and what is asked of us by the Lord. At first I had some resistance to some things but sure enough those things seemed more and more “okay” and I ended up on the opposite spectrum of the church. I will never be able to deny the anxiety that brought to my life. The constant feeling of being lost. Never certain. Wandering. To live life without guidance or a straight path is difficult at best and rarely not painful.
When Robbie brought home the Book of Mormon he’ll share with you in a few minutes and we both decided to do a complete 180 I had to admit to myself that I wasn’t happy without the gospel and that I wasn’t even close to complete. Over the years of inactivity and hostility towards the church I would look at my family and catch myself in a longing for what I knew then and know now is right. I wanted that for my children and for my husband who is the sweetest spirit, even more so now. Coming back into the church I really began to feel the sting that comes with disobedience. Where once the sacrament was just something you did on Sunday it started to take on a deeper meaning as I began to truly understand its symbolism. Each Sunday that I had to watch the tray pass me by without being able to partake of a blessing I had taken for granted I longed more and more for that spirit I had turned my back on.
There is one blessing I neglected to point out earlier- the blessing of inner peace obedience to the Lord brings. When you know you are doing what is right there is that something that keeps your spirit at ease and calm even through the most troubled times, because in the end you know you are doing all that matters.


The Prophet closed his message with a hope for all of us that really touched my heart. He said:
“May we be willing and obedient, that we may eat the good of the land. May we place our trust in our Father in Heaven, to go forth with willing, subdued hearts, that we may be worthy of his blessings.”

**close with my testimony**

k, let me have it.

[Stacymom]

Oh Maggie, I haven't been around in a long time, but I couldn't read that and not say thanks. It really, really touched me tonight- there were some things that you wrote, along with scriptures and quotes that I really needed tonight. Good luck on Sunday, I'll be thinking about you.

[Leiahs]

It's a beautiful talk!! I *loved* reading it. Thank you for sharing it! It touched me and reminded me of things that are important...especially making sure my will is aligned with Heavenly Father's will. Doesn't matter if what I'm doing is something I think/believe strongly to be right or not - it needs to be what Heavenly Father wants me to do, otherwise it's not going to bring me any blessings or inner peace. So thank you again, it's a wonderful talk

[DucetteMama21842]

Yeah... I agree. It's a true blessing to follow the commandments and divine instruction from the prophets Heavenly Father sends us. We are truly blessed when we do as He and they would have us do.

[RasJane]

Thank you, Maggie. I really needed to read that message right now. I need to read it again and think on it some more.
I have no critiques. It is fabulous the way it is. Good luck with it tomorrow.

[sbm1001]

Sorry I did a post & run. Things have been nuts around here lately, but I do want to respond to a few things.

I'm certainly not hate-mongering, by any means. I just don't get people who think porn is okay for a 15 y.o. to look at. Well, okay, I really don't think it's okay for anyone to look at. I feel badly for those whose lives it effects & am incredibly angry at how it's effected my life.

Patriarchal blessings....I've had 2 myself (I'll explain in a bit) & I've ordered one for my dh who lost his. Here's a link to the info I found on lds.org....... http://www.lds.org/churchhistory/archives/pbinfo

I ordered it & it came within a few weeks. No problemo.

My patriarchal blessing was given when I was 25. I had been inactive for many years prior to that. Anyway, I went in for it & was contacted about a month later by the patriarchs wife, letting me know I needed to come back in because the recorder failed & didn't get most of the blessing.

I went back in & found out the only part it recorded was my lineage. The rest was blank. I remember the patriarch asked me some questions about what I remembered about the first blessing. The second blessing felt & reads like it was completely standard (uninspired for me). I've always wanted to get a third one, but have failed to ask. Maybe I will some day.

There's more. I'll try to post later.

Shannon

P.S. This is a great thread!

[brightonwoman]

Originally Posted by magstphil

no way! and you can't make a photocopy or anything, apparently. i guess i need to frame mine and keep it under lock and key.

why can you not make a copy?! (I did!) I made one shrunk down and laminated and i keep that in my scriptures, and I made one spare that I keep in my journal.
I think the important thing is to keep it private and personal...but I've never heard that you can't make copies for yourself!!! (It was my seminary teacher who made the small laminated copy for me!)

jenni