I am soooo confused about this situation right now and could really use some advice and opinions if anyone has any. I'll try my best to keep it short and concise. Basically, DD's father and I were never married. We lived together at my father's house while I was pregnant, but after DD was born I realized that the reason that he was always sick was that he was snorting oxy-contin and morphine and he actually stole half of the bottle of Tylenol 3s that I was prescribed by the hospital. I told him to leave. Since I have known him (almost 3 years) he has been fired from 8 jobs, according to him none of these were his fault.
He barely pays child support, hasn't worked now for at least 6 months, lies compulsively, and lives on his father's back porch. He writes me really insulting and strange letters through e-mail, and doesn't seem to take any of this seriously. He calls or e-mails me once a month or so asking to see dd. His mother told me that he was diagnosed schizophrenic, which makes a lot of sense, but he won't admit it and thinks the psychiatrist was wrong. Now, here's where I am getting really confused. We never set up any sort of custody or visitation arrangements in court. We went for the child support and that was it. So, how much do I owe him and what exactly should I be doing? He has no car or driver's license, so cannot come to get dd (a blessing, IMO) and I really don't feel comfortable leaving her with him alone. SO last week I decided that I would offer to meet him at the park the next time he called asking to see her. We went on Sunday, and I did some school work on a bench while they played. But he is so odd and has no concept of what is appropriate and I really don't feel comfortable being at the park with him either. He was playing really wildly with dd, who is only 21 months old and he was running all over the play area. He was pushing her on the swing and then pretending that it was hitting him in the face and falling on the ground, yelling in pain. Of course he wasn't really hurt and now dd thinks pain is hilarious. Really that is minor compared to other things about him.
Anyway, this all kind of came to head today. Last night his mother (who is relatively nice and reasonable) called me to invite dd and I over to swim with her today. I said yes and called her today to let her know we were on our way. And he answered! And then he mimicked me as he handed the phone to his mother. I felt completely set up. She apologized and said that she didn't invite him over, but come on...What do I need to do? My mother is convinced that I can get free legal aid, go to court and have him declared an unfit parent. I think she's dreaming. She's really worried about what would happen if I died. I did go to see a lawyer about a year ago (which cost a whole lotta money I didn't have) and he said that I was best leaving well enough alone, because this state (FL) is very father-friendly and the judge would likely give the moron lots of visitation and just tell him not to do drugs during a visit.
Do I have any options at all? I know that I'm not being resentful towards him and imagining that he's worse tha he is. He's pretty bad. On different occasions at his father's house, when I have brought dd over in the past, he has let her eat dirt in the backyard and chew on his toothbrush. And that's just the stuff he told me. I would really appreciate advice! Thanks!
He barely pays child support, hasn't worked now for at least 6 months, lies compulsively, and lives on his father's back porch. He writes me really insulting and strange letters through e-mail, and doesn't seem to take any of this seriously. He calls or e-mails me once a month or so asking to see dd. His mother told me that he was diagnosed schizophrenic, which makes a lot of sense, but he won't admit it and thinks the psychiatrist was wrong. Now, here's where I am getting really confused. We never set up any sort of custody or visitation arrangements in court. We went for the child support and that was it. So, how much do I owe him and what exactly should I be doing? He has no car or driver's license, so cannot come to get dd (a blessing, IMO) and I really don't feel comfortable leaving her with him alone. SO last week I decided that I would offer to meet him at the park the next time he called asking to see her. We went on Sunday, and I did some school work on a bench while they played. But he is so odd and has no concept of what is appropriate and I really don't feel comfortable being at the park with him either. He was playing really wildly with dd, who is only 21 months old and he was running all over the play area. He was pushing her on the swing and then pretending that it was hitting him in the face and falling on the ground, yelling in pain. Of course he wasn't really hurt and now dd thinks pain is hilarious. Really that is minor compared to other things about him.
Anyway, this all kind of came to head today. Last night his mother (who is relatively nice and reasonable) called me to invite dd and I over to swim with her today. I said yes and called her today to let her know we were on our way. And he answered! And then he mimicked me as he handed the phone to his mother. I felt completely set up. She apologized and said that she didn't invite him over, but come on...What do I need to do? My mother is convinced that I can get free legal aid, go to court and have him declared an unfit parent. I think she's dreaming. She's really worried about what would happen if I died. I did go to see a lawyer about a year ago (which cost a whole lotta money I didn't have) and he said that I was best leaving well enough alone, because this state (FL) is very father-friendly and the judge would likely give the moron lots of visitation and just tell him not to do drugs during a visit.
Do I have any options at all? I know that I'm not being resentful towards him and imagining that he's worse tha he is. He's pretty bad. On different occasions at his father's house, when I have brought dd over in the past, he has let her eat dirt in the backyard and chew on his toothbrush. And that's just the stuff he told me. I would really appreciate advice! Thanks!
