Does anyone feel sad about the good school things your child misses? - Page 3

[littlemizflava]

the good out weigh the bad and there for i never look back there really is not anything i sit down and say that my DC's are missing out on i see so many bad i dont even see any good from schools

[UUMom]

Originally Posted by littlemizflava

the good out weigh the bad and there for i never look back there really is not anything i sit down and say that my DC's are missing out on i see so many bad i dont even see any good from schools

Exactly. I don't sit there and weigh anything-- I love what we are doing.

However, when the question comes up, or my ds is jazzed about a particular something , I think of those energetic folks, and wish my hsing children (and even me, as an asult) could get a piece of this particlur groups' energy, at least part time.

I've often wished I hadn't observed or experienced what I have. It would make this wounderful hsing journey just that much more simple.

[Mariposa]

i think the only part that i personally would have missed is being in marching band/concert band. who knows if my DDs will even want to do that. not even sure if they can participate in our school district. it is soo far away and laws could change.

[Needle in the Hay]

Originally Posted by heket

Isn't it sad how a PS needs to do that to survive? I almost equate it to prostitution. :

What is really strange to me is that the houses that are being built within that school district just keep getting bigger and bigger, then when the school wants a millage passed people vote no. They did that for the library millage too.

[Needle in the Hay]

Originally Posted by clane

I think most of us reaching out to share these concerns are the same who will reach out to groups and set up the events we feel will help or interest our children develop to their full potential.

I'm sure that will be the case and your kids will have so much to choose from. We don't have many homeschoolers around here but my DS particpates (with a little organizational help from me) in a journal we create with other homeschoolers around my his age.

Also, where we live the public schools don't do much in the way of music, sports (besides gym class), etc. You find that in the communties. My DS will be able to pursue any passion he has (within reason--I'm imagining him at age 8 asking to learn to paraglide...) so I find that not being in school he can do more, not less.

[HikeYosemite]

I see plusses and minuses to school and homeschooling, so I do struggle with those feelings as well. When all my kids were young and we were pretty much out of touch with the local school community, I was very satisfied with homeschooling and our quiet little world. Now that my kids are getting older and my son needs more social contact (our homeschool group has only 2 other kids his age who attend rarely)--and also seems to respond better to other adult teachers--he really wants to go to school, and we are ready to let him. Right now he really needs a wider social base than our homeschooling situation is providing him. We'll see whether he decides it's worth the price of more stress, testing, homework, etc.! This past year, he participated in a neat homeschooling drama troupe; however, most of the people were very conservative young earth Creationists--this seems to be true of most homeschoolers around here, but not of us--so in most homeschool groups we struggle with feeling like outsiders.

We hear about lots of neat programs and social activities at the local schools, and we have started to be a part of these communities through other activities (sports, etc.)--though, as homeschoolers, we are again rather like outsiders. I know that these communities are far from perfect, and I prefer our methods of learning at home, our flex schedule, and many other things; but I see good things happening at school as well.

My youngest wanted to attend 1/2-day kindergarten this past year, and she had a phenomenal teacher who enriched her life in many ways. She said she likes being at home, but she also very much liked being at school--she preferred being able to do both. I do wish we could pick and choose to do the good parts of school and homeschool as well!

Originally Posted by Heavenly

There were a lot of problems about school when I was growing up (being teased/picked on, being bored, having to ask to go to the bathroom, etc) but there were a lot of parts I loved too. Sometimes I feel really sad for my kids that they aren't going to get to experience that. And sometimes I really wish I didn't homeschool but I have it so ingrained in my head that school is bad that I can't put them in school. I have even spent time researching schools, imagining my kids going there. Does anyone else feel this way?

[annethcz]

I also fall into the camp of having mixed feelings about homeschooling. Although I feel it is best for my kids right now, I would be okay with them choosing to go to school when they're older.

One of the biggest things I feel like we miss out on is the sense of community. Although I usually love the things that Miranda has to say, I disagree that most schools are a pseudo-community. Going to school truly did provide me with a sense of community. I formed many close relationships with my peers, got to know some of my teachers pretty well, and simply felt like I was part of the the community at large. I had a huge sense of nostalgia when we attended the 4th of July parade this week. When I saw the school marching bands, the cheerleaders, the athletic teams, the clubs- I did feel some pangs of regret that my children don't feel a part of their community *in that way.*

I do acknowledge that there are ways to participate in communities without participating in the schools. My kids can participate in private art classes, music lessons, sports programs, clubs, etc. But now that we've been HSing for a few years, it does feel a little redundant to have things like HS prom and HS sports leagues and HS band, when all of those activies are easily available in our community/neighborhood at the public schools (as opposed to driving to a bigger city for HS activities).

Although I'm mostly happy with our decision to HS our kids, I'm increasingly open to sending my kids to the local democratic charter school when they're older.

[BoobyJuice]

I also see the positives and negative of school. We homeschool because I believe it lets kids learn at their own pace and explore their own interests. I hated being done with English in five minutes and then having to sit there but never understanding Math, even at the end of the period. I like that instead of doing worksheets about animals, we just go to the zoo.

I don't worry about them missing art or music. We take classes in visual art, dance and drama. When my son wanted to play violin we go him lessons. Everyone swims and does gymnastics. Next week is a week-long soccer camp at the Y. We pay way too much for classes but it is what my kids want to do and this way I don't feel they miss out.

I feel that I can easily exceed the math, science, language arts education they'd receive at school (Arizona usually ranks 49th in education) and can exceed the arts, physical education. What I can't replace is being surrounded by 20+ children everyday. Seeing the same children day in and day out. We have struggled for a couple of years with this and are continuing to; our very social eldest child would love to be with kids every day. We live in an enormous, sprawled city. Someone you like at art class may live 45 minutes away. We've lived here 2.5 years and he still hasn't really made his own friends. Seeing the same kids everyday would really help him meet his need to be around children. That I can't replace.

[hsmamato2]

nope- all the good stuff can easily be found elsewhere....social time with peers, playing on the playground,joining a town sports team, forming a band from local kids outside of school or at a local school of music- going on awesome field trips- even creating some learning co-ops if your kids like learning some things in a group,like a science club,or whatever they love- but I am a die hard homeschooler......I love it!

[Heavenly]

Thanks for all the input. I really appreciate all the points of view. My children are adamently opposed to going to school at this point so its not an option. I will never force them to go when they don't want to. I think I will be willing to consider it if THEY ask to go and I feel they are ready to do so. I would be sending them to Christian school and there are some good ones in the area. I do think homeschooling is best but if they are wanting to go to school I think they need to have that chance to see how they feel about it. I am talking at like 11 or 12 years old though, not 8.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by mamasgirls

The little pagents, pulling the school supply list and having her choose a backpack, lunchboxc etc.

My kids have had so many more opportunities to do cool things because of the freedom of homeschooling. They get to pick and choose how they spend their time. There really are *more* options for homeschooled kids.

They have backpacks and lunchboxes (which come in handy for their various activities) and they select their own *not back to school supplies* each fall. They think it is a lot more fun to pick their own new stuff than follow some else's list.

[3momkmb]

Sometimes...yeah.

But then if I really look at what we are doing I realize it at least equivalent if not better then what PS would offer. My kids can play sports, take classes, be in plays and even do show and tell (our homeschool group does 3-4 of these a year!). Academically they are way better off now as well.

The only thing they really *miss* is being with kids 5 days a week, 6hrs a day, 9m a year and experience has shown me that it doesn't really make difference for my kids. Both of them have more (and truer) friends now then they did in school. In or case, quantity does not equal guality in terms of relationships.

As my DD has gotten older (she's 13) I've noticed that she seeks out more peer interaction. Even though she's extremely introverted, she really enjoys being with her peers and so we make it a point to see that she does as often as she likes and is feasable. The thing I notice is the *peer* to her doesn't mean 13yo, 8th graders. She is happy *hanging* with kids from 8-adult as long as she has something in common with them. She just as happy talking books with the 19yo fellow helper in the childcare room as she is talking about Rupurt Grint with her 14yo girlfriend. I mention this only because I know I always worried about getting her enough peer interaction, thinking I'd have to dig up 8-10 13yos for her to do things with. It hasn't turned out to be the problem I thought it would be and we certainly didn't need school to do it!

[whimsy]

This is something I am really struggling with as well. My girls are 14 and would be starting high school this fall.

I was one of those people who remembers high school fondly. But if I REALLY let myself think about it, there was such an intense pressure to "do well" like my whole life depended on how well I did in high school. So I made sure I was involved in EVERYTHING and I was chronically sleep deprived and stressed.

By my senior year I had burned out. I quit almost everything and started missing school (by body was exhausted and needed to rest)

And now, 15 years later, I have no desire to attend reunions or anything like that. I have a couple of friends that I still see. I've found that it didn't matter at all if I was on the varsity cheerleading squad, the student council and VP of our class in real life.

I don't think it helped me either. The only thing I learned was to measure myself by someone else's yardstick.

[rmzbm]

NEVER! And I am someone who LOVED school.