midwife stress

[cicely_m]

So, a few months ago, I drove all around the area interviewing midwives. Found one I absolutely loved ("Midwife A"). When I got my BFP, I called her and set up an appointment. Which is next thursday.
However, in the interim, there have been some complications with my insurance. Basically, she's out of network, and thus I have to pay $1000 up front, plus 30% of any costs of care. Which could be batrillions of dollars. Which we can't afford.
So I called the insurance company, and found out that there is one midwife covered in our network (Midwife B). Unfortunately, she was the one I didn't like, while interviewing. Still, she's covered, read: free. Actually, she's in a practice of 4 midwives, so it could be that I quite like the other ones. I made an initial appointment there, and called to cancel the appointment with Midwife A.
That point is when I began writing this email, and the high mark of my stress.
But when I called to cancel, the lady at Midwife A's office told me that they would just "write off" the 30% of costs, and I wouldn't have to pay anything over the original thousand. This brings it back down to the realm of feasibility. But has anyone ever heard of this? I mean, where does the money go?

So, here's where I am:

Midwife A: expensive, far away (45 minutes), but I like her a lot.
Midwives B: free, closer (20 minutes), but I wasn't comfortable with the midwife I met there.

Input?
Thoughts?

[Dea]

I think you should go with who makes you happy. To me $1000 is worth peace of mind and really liking your caregiver. However different people have a different value system.
I hope it works out for you though!

[mom3b1?]

Go with your gut. In the long run $1000 isn't much, compared to having a birth disaster caused by trying to work with people who make you uncomfortable. If you like all the others in that practice, remember they choose to work with the one you don't like so they must agree with her practices to some degree, and you probably won't have a lot of control over who attends your birth.

Kiley

[Mary-Beth]

A good midwife is worth every cent you pay, even if it is difficult to pay it.


You could go and meet the other midwives at Midwife B's place and see but then keep in mind you'll still be dealing with Midwife B and she may be the one on -call when you have your baby.

So, I'm leaning towards Midwife A.

[nolonger]

Look at it as an investment in your body, your child's health, and your relationship with the child. If you wind up transferring because of complications caused by interference (or even just your own fight-or-flight reaction to having and unpleasant person at the birth), you could endanger your breastfeeding relationship and formula costs well over $1,000.

I am going the UC route, but if I weren't, a good midwife is one of the few large expenses I would not hesitate to put on my credit card and just deal with paying the interest charges, even if it wound up being many times the actual cost.

That probably won't even be necessary, since the midwives I used with my other pregnancies were very good about working out a payment plan that I could afford.

[cicely_m]

Yes, the $1000 is totally worth it; we've already talked about that....
But what about the distance? Is 45 minutes (without traffic) too far to drive when you're in labor?

[flapjack]

Highly unlikely, with a first. I'm not pretending it's going to be a comfortable drive but the chances of you not making it there in time are slim (unless, of course, you're actually a character in a soap opera.)

[g&a]

I'm not in your ddc, but have a little perspective. Where I live a midwife is $3300 plus $500 if you want to use the birth center. No insurance companies will cover it. Doctors and hospitals are free. To me $1000 isn't much for peace of mind, if she is the best midwife for you, assuming you can scrape that together.

g,

[BinahYeteirah]

bs"d

I agree with everyone else. It is very important to hire the midwife you like best. Maybe if you loved all the other midwives in the practice, it would be fine, but still. Many midwives are flexible with payment. They know that insurance doesn't always cover much and want to make it possible for women to have a homebirth if that's what they want. With my first birth, my midwife told me that she would accept as payment whatever the insurance company paid her. She was just starting a new homebirth practice (although she had a lot of experience in a birth center), so that's part of the reason she was willing to accept so little. I think it's pretty typical for midwives to work with you on payment plans and/or do creative billing. There are ways for the midwife to bill that help her get the max. money out of the insurance company. For example, billing more for the services than she actually charges, or apportioning the charges per visit so that it fits the reimbursment limits of that particular insurance company. I don't know if that is considered dishonest, but I have the impression that doctors do it, too.

[smokeylo]

Work out a payment arrangement of any kind with Midwife A. Your care provider is key and you shouldn't compromise because of cost -- I am sure she will make it work for you! Stick with your instinct on her!

[mom3b1?]

Cicely,

Birthing in the car is highly unlikely, but it's much better and safer than birthing anywhere with someone you are not comfortable with. If you are really worried about not being able to get there fast enough just prepare for a car birth, knowing it's something like one in a million that it could happen. I always feel less scared about stuff if I prepare, even if I know that it'll never happen. By prepare I don't mean anything elaborate, maybe put a few towels in the car and skim through "Emergency Childbirth" by White. Makes me sleep easier. If it doesn't make you sleep easier to prepare in that way, don't waste your time.

Kiley