I thought of a good example here. In this month's Mothering, there is an article about a mom who had PPS and who needed help. That was a much more severe situation than the OP, but still, it is someone who was out of control and needed help. The article didn't say she was a bad mother - it said she was a good mother who needed help. Then she got the help, and things were better. This is how I see this situation, on a smaller scale. The mother has a problem with rage, which is not uncommon. She is a good mother who needs help getting that problem under control. To tell her she doesn't have a problem isn't any more useful to her or her children than it would be to tell a mom with PPS that she is just suffering from "a little road bump" and she'll get over it with a glass of wine.