Hi all -
Another bi momma here whose DP is a woman and we have a one-year-old son. I've known myself as being attracted to the person, rather than the "equipment"
since I was about 14 years old, and have only wanted to be in a relationship with one person at a time so far in my life. I was very out as a bi woman for a long time, and still will say so when people assume I'm a lesbian ... but I really prefer to ID as "queer" rather than bi (and actually my "lesbian" partner prefers to call herself queer, too).
I don't really like how the word "bi" re-enforces the socially prescribed binary gender system, and I really try my best to be a trans ally. Plus, being queer is what feels right to me now, though I'll still say bi if that is what i think will make the point I need to make in a given situtation (e.g. making sure the person knows I am attracted to more than ONE gender, and/or if I am in a situation where using the word "queer" will not be understood in the positive way that I intend it). On a side note - I find it funny that my and DP's gender expression are much *more* different, even tho we both ID as women & female, whereas my (male) former partner and I dressed & expressed our gender in much more similar ways even though we were different genders. I love that gender and sexuality is such a fun, messy, complicated, sacred thing!
I'm glad to see such a diverse representation of bi-ness here ... people like to assume so many things of bi folks and the reality is - like every identity or community - we are quite a wonderfully varied bunch!