Bi-parents? - Page 4

[GinaRae]

Originally Posted by majikfaerie

It took me ages to slowly see him in an "attraction" way, and I suspect that a large part of that was my body getting hormonal and wanting to make a baby
Actually, as soon as I was pg, I lost all interest in men... but by then it was too late! But I do love DH; he's just a funny guy, and a great father.

So to ask a personal question that you don't have to answer (obviously), do you have an active and enjoyable sex life with your husband?

[majikfaerie]

Originally Posted by GinaRae

So to ask a personal question that you don't have to answer (obviously), do you have an active and enjoyable sex life with your husband?

um, yeah, its a personal question, and I wasn't going to answer. But then I realised that the reason I didnt want to say is because... :


not really, no.

active; well, more like occasionally. sometimes we joke about being an old married couple that has a special day for it
enjoyable?
sort of, but unfulfilling : have I said too much?

[lil_earthmomma]

De lurking... sort of...

I come from an ultra religious family (I'm considered the hippy freak black sheep), but was always attracted to girls, and guys. I've never "done it" with a woman, but have come close. I stuggle with the monogomy thing and guilt, even though my hubby encourages me to explore my sexuality.

I love love love my hubby and have a great sex life and married life with him. He knows that I fantasize about women all the time (does this make me bi? I've never labelled myself really.)

I'm a young mama to one baby ds, with an amazing hubby who thinks it's hot that his wife likes girls.

Hope that I can post openly here now, as I feel that my ds should learn openness from the get go and have already learned great things here.

[majikfaerie]

lil earthmomma

[GinaRae]

Originally Posted by majikfaerie

um, yeah, its a personal question, and I wasn't going to answer....

I should probably say why I asked! I just wonder because I see my sex life slipping away, especially lately. He doesn't light the fire as much as he used to, but I think it's because it's been a long time since I had any other relationships.

Though I think right now it's part pregnancy uncomfortable-ness (is that a word?), and partly my weight, and the rest os for whatever reason he;s reluctant to have sex right now. I am too tired to find out lately, but he says nothing is wring but stress.

However, I do get bored with the sex sometimes and wonder what life will be like in another 5 years or so. Will I even be interested? I LOVE my hubster and want him to be happy, so I hope we can re-light the flame by then.

[heket]

Hi lil_earthmomma! You are certainly welcomed to post here.

Question for all, is this a thread you'd like to see continued from month to month?

[myjulybabes]

How'd I miss this little tribe? *waving* Hi all! Bi mama (well, technically speaking, but I prefer "queer"), married to a bi man. Technically we have an open relationship, but we've not really been pursuing anything outside the marriage since I've been pregnant, probably won't for awhile unless it just lands in our lap. Who's got time?

We did go to Pride this year, missed the last couple years because it was too hot for ds. In the past, we'd go with my lesbian friends and all hang out together...dh has been referred to as my "fag stag" before. This year, I thought we'd get the most odd looks because it was me, dh, both kids, and I was already showing...but nope. The gay marriage issue is getting so big, I think it's becoming more common for people who are straight, but "queer allies", or however you want to say it, to hang out at Pride and whatnot. So they probably figured we were just a gay-friendly straight couple, which makes me a little sad, but it's better than getting weird looks, KWIM?

We're not necessarily open about our sexuality with our kids because they're so young, but we do try not to reinforce the hetero norms. We don't assume they'll be straight, we talk in really simple terms about how the current marriage laws are unfair, try not to reinforce any gender stereotypes (though I admit, it's hard to resist the urge to buy pink frilly stuff for this baby!). Dd saw 2 boys kissing on a TV show, said "ewww gross!" and boy did she get an earful!

[dynamicdoula]

Originally Posted by heket

Married, with a significant other, single? Are you out there? I just imagine that there's some bi-mamas/-dadas out there. Pride comes and goes each June, yet being a married (to the opposite sex and) bi, I feel left out. My lesbian friends tell me its a phase or that I'm just naturally a cheater. I just don't feel comfortable telling anyone who's straight my true feelings.

Anyone else out there?

I'm bi an definitely between the worlds. It's been made very clear by my lesbian friends/acquaintances that I don't 'qualify' as anything more than a fence-sitter, really. And with bi women being so 'trendy' right now it really doesn't help my cause. Plus, I am happily married to a man with no desire to cheat (male or female, my needs are truly met in my relationship). It really discredits me as a 'queer' person. I tend to avoid queer culture because of it, honestly. I do feel left out as well.. not straight enough, not queer enough. It's irritating.

[majikfaerie]

Funny, I actually process a lot of guilt for not being a "pure" lesbian :

And I do get comments from old friends, when they realise I've gotten married and had kid, like "oh, so you've given up on women now?" :

As to this thread, I'd love for it to be an ongoing regular thing, but I'd hazard a guess that we just see how it goes, and if it gets too busy, then we start monthly/ weekly segments...

[genericmom]

I'd love for us to keep chattin here!

[dynamicdoula]

Originally Posted by majikfaerie

Funny, I actually process a lot of guilt for not being a "pure" lesbian :

Ah, don't take on other people's issues. You are who you are and that's lovely.

[dealic]

Let's definately keep this chat going. I am enjoying it a lot, even if work has prevented me from posting in a while.

[simplelah]

Just wanted to chime in on this one!

Bi mama with definite tendancies towards ladies here!
(Although, I did spend 4 years married to a man... hmm)
Nice to meet you all!

[astar326]

I agree that we should keep this thread going.
~Angel

[Sharlla]

Bi and poly, I'm not dating anyone right now. I just don't have the time and haven't met anyone.

[majikfaerie]

Originally Posted by dynamicdoula

Ah, don't take on other people's issues. You are who you are and that's lovely.

aww thanks:
I'm just a mirror

[lil_earthmomma]

aw... thanks for the warm welcome, I was scared that I'd come back to this thread and be bounced out so quick my head would spin. This is probably due to the fact that like so many others, my gay friends have tried to label me in negative ways. "it's just a phase" "your so young you don't know that you're gay yet" etc. :

Anyways, glad I've found a home, so to speak! Nice to meet all you loverly interesting people! :

[heket]

Wow, I honestly didn't think the whole "fence sitting" thing was so prevalent. : I just don't get it, I really don't. And I don't know why, but it feels so much more hurtful from the l/g community than if it came from the hetro community (I guess I just naively assumed that there'd be more understanding from the l/g community -- but then there's my problem. One should never assume... )

Who would've thought that being in the middle would be so hard? :

[dealic]

Originally Posted by heket

Wow, I honestly didn't think the whole "fence sitting" thing was so prevalent. : I just don't get it, I really don't. And I don't know why, but it feels so much more hurtful from the l/g community than if it came from the hetro community (I guess I just naively assumed that there'd be more understanding from the l/g community -- but then there's my problem. One should never assume... ) :

I think its because you think that one group that has to face discrimination would be more understanding of the discrimination of others, especially on similar topics.

But I agree, it hurts more from the queer community. I expect straight people to make assumptions. I never expected my queer friends to turn on me as if I were a traitor to "the cause". I guess I was mistaken when I thought the cause was being allowed to love who you loved, regardless of their gender...:

[dynamicdoula]

It comes down to privilege. Bi people have the 'luxury' of being able to choose socially acceptable relationships. I am white (ish) and in a legally recognized marriage with 2.5 children. What do I know about queer culture? What do I know about my rights being denied? What do I know about having my relationship judged and vilified by society? And I don't know, but I think that without these ties bonding it together, there would be no 'queer' culture, there would just be people in relationships. So maybe that's why I'm not included, because I don't have to struggle unless I choose to. That's my best guess.

Originally Posted by dealic

I think its because you think that one group that has to face discrimination would be more understanding of the discrimination of others, especially on similar topics.

But I agree, it hurts more from the queer community. I expect straight people to make assumptions. I never expected my queer friends to turn on me as if I were a traitor to "the cause". I guess I was mistaken when I thought the cause was being allowed to love who you loved, regardless of their gender...: