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Would you have said something? - Page 4

Poll Results: Would you have said something?

 
  • 48% (122)
    Yes, I would have said something to the mom.
  • 16% (42)
    No, I would have kept walking.
  • 24% (61)
    I'm not sure what I would do.
  • 11% (28)
    Other.
253 Total Votes  
post #61 of 231
If the mom were even halfway looking, then no. If she was carefully studying the melon display looking for a ripe one, then probably.

"oh, angel, does your mama know you've got that on your head?"

Anyway, I'm kind of with thismama on the relative actual danger of plastic bags. I've let my baby crinkle one in her hand, and you'd be amazed by how many people seem to think it can jump out and strangle a baby, yk?

I mean, I wouldn't stick it in her CRIB and close the door, obviously, but sure, I'll let her sit there in the cart and crinkle it in her little fist.
post #62 of 231
I would say something to the mom.........along the lines of "Did you realize he got ahold of a bag?"
post #63 of 231
Quote:
Originally Posted by meowee View Post
Yes I did say something to the mom. She said "I have 6 children and they've all survived."
meowee, i just wanted to say i'm sorry that mom was so snarky to you. maybe she was having a bad day, but i don't think you were out of line to point out that her child was playing with plastic bags. if it was okay with her she could've just said, "thanks" and gone on about her business. people are rude sometimes, but who knows what the back story was.
post #64 of 231
of course I'd say something if the bag was on the child's head-to the mother. My daughters HATE when other adults try to parent them-and rightly so. And I'd be fine if the mother chose to fling some snark at me. But I know I'd probably be able to do it in a way that wouldn't make her feel defensive.
post #65 of 231
My brother used to love playing with plastic bags. Once he was messing around with one and he was pulling it over his face and pulling tight with his fingers when he took it off. He inhaled a piece and was choking. We didn't even realize what was going on, he just stopped talking, there was no choking sound because the plastic was at the back of his throat. Our babysitter came back in the room, I told her he was ignoring me and she took one look at him, scooped her fingers in his throat and when that didn't work sucked it out. She ended up sucking it into HER throat and choking a bit before she was able to get it out. He was ok but if she had been gone a minute longer, he probably would have died. And all without a sound.

That said, I am not paranoid about choking. But when it comes to plastic bags, if a person is watching every move the child makes then sure, they're fine. If the child is working a piece loose with their fingers (which was the whole reason my brother liked to play with the bags, apparantly that was fun to him) and then sucks on it or pulls it over their head... Not good. I don't let my kids play with plastic bags but I let them play with toys with small parts. To each their own. But I surely wouldn't just pass a child being allowed to do this and say nothing. It would be like walking by a child playing with a knife, I just could not say nothing.
post #66 of 231
I think there is a far greater chance of a kid choking while running around with food in her mouth, which I see all the time and nobody bats an eye.

Plastic bags really don't scare me that much.
post #67 of 231
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alkenny View Post
And if you get offended by it, I think that's YOUR issue for getting offended that someone was looking out for your child. I wouldn't be judging you as a parent AT ALL, that's your own issue.

Sorry, just my take on it.
YES. What you just said times twelve.

Frankly, when other people say "Don't judge me," know how I translate that phrase? "Don't make me feel guilty about my bad choices."
post #68 of 231
Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipse View Post
But if I'm standing right there - why is it your business to tell my child what they can or cannot do? If I had a problem with it, I surely would have said something to my child. If your goal is to change my mind about the safety of allowing my child to do something - talk to ME about it. :
Yeah that. I would have gone beserk if someone would have said something to me, if I was standing right there. I can't stand being judged. I'm the mother and I know what's best for my child at all times. I know their capabilities. It's MY biggest pet peeve.
post #69 of 231
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meg Murry. View Post
YES. What you just said times twelve.

Frankly, when other people say "Don't judge me," know how I translate that phrase? "Don't make me feel guilty about my bad choices."
since thepost that you are responding to is in response to something I said, I want to make sure you read what I said about it. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...7&postcount=51

I said it would annoy the crap out of me if someone told my child to stop doing something when I was right there and clearly supervising. Say whatever you want to me - leave my kids out of it.

Am I the only one with kids that are very sensitive to being "corrected" by other people, no matter how nicely it's done? Particularly if it is something that I have told them it's okay to do, my oldest is likely to have a complete meltdown over it.
post #70 of 231
I have nothing valuable to add, but did anyone else see the Family Guy where Stewie is in the grocery cart trying to fit the bag over his head? But because his head is huge and football shaped he can't get it on? Funny stuff.
post #71 of 231
Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipse View Post
See, this would have annoyed the crap out of me. Maybe I don't have the same danger radar as other moms, but it drives me crazy when other people tell my kids to stop doing something because they might get hurt, if I'm standing right there watching him. If I have a problem with him doing it, I'll let him know. If you think I don't know he's doing something, or you have some special knowledge as to why an activity is dangerous that you think I don't have - fine, tell me. I'm the mom.
I agree

Funny timing for me. I have a daycare toddler that quite often comes in clutching a plastic bag with a dinky car or two in it. Today he put the bag over his head and played peek-a-boo with me in it.
My first reaction was 'oh eeek, plastic bag on childs head, he is going to die' Then I rolled my eyes at myself. We played peek for awhile, then I put a knot in the top of the bag so he could not pull it over his head any more.
I can only play peek for so long and it seemd ignorant to ignore a warning I had heard all my life, even though it did not seem possible for him to suffocate in his palstic bag, and I did wonder if the danger was real or percieved. I have a mom that thought everything was a danger and I grew hearing 'be careful' and 'watch out' and 'you can't do that' and 'danger'
So I went threw life proving her wrong, and now I am an anxious adult

I think I would have not passed judment and kept on going. Well after saying hi to the kid, babies are cute and I like to wave and say hi.
post #72 of 231
Quote:
Originally Posted by marybethorama View Post
But I will admit that things like standing in shopping carts and plastic bags scare me.
oh-oh the standing or not standing issue of shopping carts
post #73 of 231
Was he leaving it on for periods of time that were long enough to cause suffocation?

I highly doubt it would have hurt him with his mother and other people right there watching, unless perhaps he was leaving it on his head for a minute or more at a time.

I would have said nothing. If the child had put it on and left it there for an alarming amount of time then I would have said "Oh sweetie, I think that's long enough!"

As for the bag ripping, unless he was biting it or clawing it, I really don't think that the produce bag would have just ripped sending a small piece flying into his mouth. And if it had been a grocery bag with tabs, I'd have just casually said to the mom "Hey, I am NOT gonna berate you for letting him play with the plastic bag" *friendly grin* "But I just wanted to mention that you might wanna check it for those lil plastic tabs first, because they come off easily and are a real pain in the butt if they get in baby's mouth!"

I agree that sometimes don't judge me does mean don't make me feel guilty for my bad choices. But there are some choices that are bad to some, good to others. I wouldn't feel guilty if someone judged me for letting my son play with a produce bag, even if he put it on his head and took it off. I would just feel like they were being hypervigilant. Sometimes don't judge me means hey, maybe I do care and just see it differently than you. So far my son has little interest in plastic bags, but if he did put one over his head for a few seconds, I'd probably have laughed, took it off, and let him repeat the process as long as he wanted.

I let my son stand in the shopping cart, too. Why? Because I am right there and trust myself to notice and catch him if he starts to fall out. But more importantly because I trust him not to do anything that would cause himself to fall out and because I believe he is capable of standing there without toppling out. I feel that I am more qualified to make that judgement than anyone else being that I know my child, who has been standing in carts for over a year now. He did fall out of a cart once. Scared the crap out of me. But it was the SEAT he fell out of, while he was strapped in with that pathetic excuse for a seat belt. I understand when people mention something, worry that he might fall out, etc., but I still find it annoying. I've been told time and time again that he was about to fall out, only to turn and look and see that he was nowhere near falling out. Once or twice I've felt the need to take action, just in case. But usually I just have to say "Nah, he's fine. He's got good balance." I do try to watch him very carefully when we're moving though. He has this weird thing where he likes to sway back and forth and make the cart weave...so I often am keeping one hand on him just in case!
post #74 of 231
I probably would say something, either to the parent, or to the child. If the parent made the choice to be offended by it, it's their problem, not mine. I'd rather know that I tried to intervene than have an accident happen and know that I didn't do anything.

For the people who let their kids do stuff that other people think is dangerous and don't like it when other people comment about it, what happens if your kids are climbing up on things or jumping over things, and they injure another child in the process? Would you roll your eyes then? Because if I'm in a situation where I see a child doing something where there's a good possibility that they're going to hurt themselves or another child, then I'll say something. I've seen way too many playground accidents where someone was doing something that their parents didn't think was a big deal, but someone else's kid ended up getting hurt because of rowdiness/rough play/climbing/etc.
post #75 of 231
Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipse View Post
My issue wouldn't be someone saying something to me. My issue would be someone taking it upon themselves to tell my child to stop doing somethign with which I thought was okay.
:

As in the case of the concerned parents at the playground... if you think something my ds is doing is going to cause him to break his neck, run it by me. Don't tell him that what he's doing is dangerous. He generally knows what he's capable of.

Quote:
For the people who let their kids do stuff that other people think is dangerous and don't like it when other people comment about it, what happens if your kids are climbing up on things or jumping over things, and they injure another child in the process? Would you roll your eyes then? Because if I'm in a situation where I see a child doing something where there's a good possibility that they're going to hurt themselves or another child, then I'll say something.
At 6 1/2 yrs, ds has yet to hurt another kid with his stuntman behavior. He has hurt himself, but nothing that's required a trip to the hospital. I prefer the confident stuntboy he is now to a kid who's afraid to do or try things because they might be dangerous. While he'll swing from tree branches off the top of the playhouse outside, he has the sense not to jump off the roof of our actual house. So really, unless he's about to jump onto someone else (which has yet to happen), leave him alone.
post #76 of 231
Quote:
Originally Posted by anubis View Post
Well, I for one think the plastic bag suffocation scare is way overblown. I mean, what are the chances of a kid actually getting killed that way? I believe it's somewhere between getting hit by lightning and being eaten by a grue. I mean, you have to be deprived of oxygen for quite a few minutes before damage is done. If the mother's right there, I'm sure she'd notice once the kid went unconscious.
You can be eaten by a grue anytime it's dark! One should never underestimate the dangers of the grue!
post #77 of 231
i can't even read the whole thread because this is exactly the kind of thing that scares the ever living be jeeebers out of me.

yes i would absolutely say something and yes i would be absolutely grateful if someone said something to me.
post #78 of 231
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
At 6 1/2 yrs, ds has yet to hurt another kid with his stuntman behavior. He has hurt himself, but nothing that's required a trip to the hospital. I prefer the confident stuntboy he is now to a kid who's afraid to do or try things because they might be dangerous. While he'll swing from tree branches off the top of the playhouse outside, he has the sense not to jump off the roof of our actual house. So really, unless he's about to jump onto someone else (which has yet to happen), leave him alone.
Yeah, that, basically. If one of my kids is about to hurt someone, or is in truly imminent danger of hurting themselves (like, I dunno, running full speed into traffic), I wouldn't have a problem with someone stopping them. Or if my child is trying to go up the slide while another child is going down, I wouldn't have a problem with someone asking them to wait. But if someone said "you should never go up slides! that's so dangerous! slides are for going down! you will hurt yourself! I bet your mother doesn't know you're going up slides!" - well, that's what I'd have a problem with.

I don't let my kids crawl all over other kids or do things that could hurt other people. But I feel like, most of the time, they are the best person to decide what they are physically capable of.
post #79 of 231
If DD did this and I didn't notice I would want someone to tell me, whether or not I do something with this knowledge is an entirely different question. I am trying to do away with plastic bags though so that wouldn't be an issue for us.

(Just thought I'd inject a little NFL into this conversation for giggles)
post #80 of 231
There are things I am ok with and things I'm not ok with. Just because I don't care about some things doesn't mean I don't care about others. If my kid is in danger of hurting himself, others, or property or being ridiculously annoying, he has to stop.
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