Q re home births and siblings

[lawyermom]

I want to have a home birth but am not sure what to do with my DD (will be 4.5 yrs). She is really really sensitive and I do not want her at the birth - she's freaked out by loud noises, for one thing! But I don't want to send her far away either, and our parents are both out of town.

HB moms with kids: what did you do? Send her to a friend's?

(Cross posted in I'm Pregnant)

[mom3b1?]

I was very worried about my eldest when I had my first homebirth. He was 4.5 at that time. He is very sensitive and is very easily upset by loud noises. It turns out that he is in the Autism spectrum with Asperger's Syndrome. He gets more than the usual amount of freaked out by loud noise, it totally sends him into autism mode.

Before the birth I worked with him. I looked for somewhere to put him, and his 2yo (just barely two at the birth) brother. I practiced some of the noises I thought I might make at birth with him and encouraged him to make the noises too. We read a lot about birth and babies, and talked about what would happen.

In the end the boys were fine during the birth. I'm sure my eldest would not have been if I'd not explained it all to him so many times before the birth. If I could have sent him to visit friends or family I would have, but I couldn't. It was fine anyway.

Kiley

[lawyermom]

I really like this idea, of practicing sounds ahead of time. I think she would love that! Thanks!

I am going to give some thought to this...not sure DH would be on board, but maybe it's less scary than her waking up one morning and discovering and mommy's gone to the hospital??

[lyttlewon]

Have you tried showing her any birth videos? DD will be 4 in September and is also very sensative to sounds. I have been showing her birth videos. The birthing the baby part absolutely doesn't bother her she thinks it is cool. Yesterday she was asking why the moms were making noises and I said sometimes it is uncomfortable when the baby comes out and she was fine with that.

I plan on having her there with someone responsible for her. I don't know who that is yet. My mom will be there but she doesn't act like she wants to be the one to watch DD. I need to ask my MIL. If push comes to shove I will have my mom do it whether she wants me to or not :

[Lolafanana]

How young is too young to be present for the birth?

My dd will be just a little over 2 when dc2 is born and I really don't know whether it's appropriate. I don't want to freak her out. She's very protective of me.