Originally Posted by GalateaDunkel
But I would be absolutely heartbroken if she signed on as a lifelong, permanently financially dependent, traditional "homemaker." That is actually what I originally planned for myself, and I had bought into all sorts of scary ideology about how it's the best thing - drank the patriarchal Kool-Aid, so to speak. Having a daughter changed all that for me. My self-respect as a woman may have been low enough to accept limitations for myself, but not for my kid!!!!!!! I want her to know that she can do absolutely anything she wants to do, and I feel that in order to do that I have to model it by pursuing a career of my own once she gets a bit older.
Now see, it seems as though you drank the political feminist Kool-Aid.
Some women do feel that the best thing for their family is for the woman to be the full-time, at-home caretaker. And you know what? That's just fine.
Being at home full-time is a ton of work. There are women who view that as their career. That career is just a valid as any career outside the home.
I highly doubt these women have low-levels of self-esteem.
Women can do and be anything they want to be. However, the whole "we must model that by working outside the home" idea is crap, IMHO. What may happen instead is the child feels that a real job is NOT really taking care of kids. The kid might feel as though he/she really isn't that important (after all, mama doesn't have any self-respect because she "just" stays here with/for me).
If mama wants to work outside the home and the child-care arrangement is working well for the child, great. However, in no way should a woman feel that if she does NOT work outside the home she's setting a bad example for her kids. That sentiment devalues the hard work of fulltime "at-home" motherhood.