Give me strength

[crystalalene]

I need some encouragement...

I want a homebirth. I strongly feel that it is what is right for us for every reason (you all know) but DH doesn't want to have to pay out of pocket, even for a short time. I will find out this week if insurance will cover the fees, but that is after the birth. The mw wants payment up front (which I understand is normal) so we'd be in a tight spot for a few months and 'gambling' on the ins company to come through.

Does anyone have any resources about decreased incidence of ppd with homebirth? I don't want to go through that again and I am scared of having this baby because I am afraid it will be like it was with my daughter. I feel as though the comfort and control at home will help me to feel better after the birth.

Am I off base? Why does it have to be so complicated and stressful? And why don't men 'get it'?

[wwisdomskr]

, Mama.

I know that you are much less likely to suffer ppd with a homebirth. I'll try to dig up some of those stats for you.

But, as I'm sure you know...it's not a guarantee. I was sure that I wouldn't suffer from it again because I had a beautiful homebirth. When it hit me around 3 weeks pp, I was devastated and had an even harder time reaching out for help.

I've had homebirthers say to me "no way you had ppd. Homebirthers don't get ppd." Ouch.

Birth trauma and ppd are different. ITA that birth trauma contributes to ppd...but the absence of birth trauma doesn't guarantee that we won't get ppd.

We're planning our 2nd homebirth, and paying completely out of pocket and not expecting any reimbursement. We used some home equity and if we hadn't had that option, we would have taken out a personal loan. It's that important to us.

I'm going to work with our ND to try to prevent the ppd this time...but, also preparing for the very real possibility that I may experience it again. I am scared...but trying to channel that into building the support structure that I need.

Hope this helps. Take care.

[sibelius]

the only time i ever had ppd was after my first vbac homebirth! ppd has more to do with hormone levels than anything else, right? so how would the environment affect that, unless there was some birth trauma like the pp suggested?
i hope things work out for you. i'm sorry i have no good advice, because i am in a similar predicament.

[sibelius]

just noticed that all three of us are due in november!

[aylaanne]

If you're predisposed to PPD, then having a traumatic birth experience will only make it that much more likely that you'll develop it with this baby. So if having the baby at home will make you feel safer overall, then you should stay home. If your DH is worried about paying for it, and the insurance company says they'll reimburse you, why not get a small consumer loan and pay it off with the insurance? You may want to look into the homebirth resources listed in countless threads to help convince your DH that it's worth the cost.

I am so traumatized by the births that I witnessed (just witnessed!) in the hospital that I refuse to consider it as anything but a last resort. Since I myself am predisposed to panic and severe depression, I think birthing in that environment is just asking for trouble. No amount of money is too much to avoid the almost certainty that I'd have a panic attack in the hospital.

As for your worry about PPD, I think now is the time to start seeing a therapist, because the fears you have about postpartum can seriously influence the way your birth plays out. Also, starting to see someone now ensures that they'll have a better idea of your baseline if you do start to get depressed after the birth, and they'll have a more comprehensive history to work with. Plus, you'll have built a trust relationship beforehand, instead of having to deal with depression AND trust issues at the same time.

Good luck.