Baby showers--one for every child?

[GranoLLLy-girl]

I was just wondering about this. I had a baby shower (well, my husband's work threw a wonderful 'party' and invited me and then my girlfriends had one and then my aunt did one for family only--but all three were for the same child). I did not have a baby shower for baby number two (my ds).
But now I've been invited to several baby showers, all are second or third, and in one case a 'fourth baby' shower--one because the woman who invited me said that 'this time it's a girl, so the mother needs new stuff' (which I think is a tacky reason to have a shower); for one of the other showers I was recently invited to the reasoning was that the siblings will be four years apart so it's OK to have a shower for baby number whatever.
What is the standard on baby showers these days? I always thought you had one for the first baby and after that, it was in poor taste--is this not so anymore? Am I old-school on this?
Is it like weddings now where the bride can wear white even if it's her fifth time down the aisle?
Any thoughts?

[WhaleinGaloshes]

Thinking on what is in good taste for baby showers seems to vary a lot by region and culture. In many circles, having multiple showers baby after baby is expected and greatly anticipatied.

Like you, I'm a one-shower-per-lifetime girl myself (for both baby and bridal showers, you get one of each.) I do think that's kind of old-school.

But hey, if people want to throw you a party, why say no?

[A&A]

Each child deserves to be welcomed into the world with a party.

[JamesMama]

Originally Posted by A&A

Each child deserves to be welcomed into the world with a party.

That, IMO

[katheek77]

I've heard that it's ok to have close friends and family for a second shower, but it's tacky to have one of those "invite everyone you know" showers for a second baby.

I kind of belong to the one-shower (bridal, baby, etc.) school of thought. I've got no problem with a baby welcoming party, but a baby shower is more to "shower" the *parents* with necessities for a baby. Which you would presume they will keep for future children.

Then again, I also think it's kind of tacky to register for much more beyond the basics for either a wedding or baby shower. Do you really need six pages of stuff for a baby??? :

[adtake]

I've always thought if the kidos were a bit apart, maybe 5 years, another shower is okay. Or if the mom has all one sex then another one..maybe...

I agree that same sex close toghther shower for every baby is tacky.

[sunflowers]

My family is from the old school, too. One baby shower. Ever. I would really have appreciated one for my dd, though. There is a 13 year gap between my kids and much of the stuff I saved from DS was no longer usable (his car seat for example).

Our family does do Baby Welcoming parties, though. It's usually a very casual and fun party for everyone The gifts are optional but tend to be small things, as they should be. Everyone loves to see the new baby!

[limabean]

Originally Posted by adtake

I've always thought if the kidos were a bit apart, maybe 5 years, another shower is okay. Or if the mom has all one sex then another one..maybe...

I think so too. I know a mom who had 2 girls, thought she was done having kids and got rid of all her baby stuff, then got pregnant with a boy several years later. She asked us whether it would be tacky of her to have a shower, and I told her no, then went to her shower and brought her a nice gift.

For myself, I don't want to have another shower when I have another baby, but I don't mind when other people do.

[lovbeingamommy]

Originally Posted by A&A

Each child deserves to be welcomed into the world with a party.

This is my thought EXACTLY. Thank you for this post!!

[Alkenny]

I'm old-school thinking too, one shower *unless you are remarried/repartnered and having a baby with that person* or there's a big age difference between the kiddos.

Yes, every baby deserves a party, but I think baby showers are more about getting 'stuff' than celebrating a baby's birth. That just may be my take on it though.

[2lilsweetfoxes]

An alternative we would do for the second or subsequent babies (that were close in age/same sex/same partner) would be a diaper sprinkle or a casserole party. We would still have the fun and play the games. People would bring pretty much whatever--clothes if first was a boy and second a girl, boxes of diapers, baby wash, etc.

[Nature]

Why must everything have so many social "rules"? Blah.

If you have people who want to give you a shower the 4th or 15th time, then enjoy it! Its a celebration! If someone invites you and you think its OMG tacky because you have a zillion social rules yourself, then just don't go.

I've had a baby shower for all three of mine. They weren't elaborate things, but they were with family and friends and made the day special for me.

[cjanelles]

I was given a baby shower for all three of my kids.

I did not ask for the showers. They were thrown for me by close friends or relatives.

My first and second children were 4 years apart, a boy and a girl.

My 3rd came 10 years after my 2nd...and after I'd thought I was completely done having kids. So, the baby shower was a genuine blessing.

I'm a believer that it is always tacky to expect ANYONE to give you gifts, but that it is perfectly acceptable to enjoy a baby shower/celebration/luncheon/party for each new baby. In our circle of friends and family, it isn't so much about the presents as it is about the gathering of loved ones...and frankly, I can't think of one person who would be invited to a shower-type party for me or mine that wouldn't want to buy or make a gift for us...so, I don't think anyone would be faced with the dilemma of "Geez, didn't I just buy them a baby gift two years ago?" problem.

[mamazee]

I'll vote for first child only. A baby shower isn't to welcome a baby into the world - the baby isn't even usually born yet when the shower happens - it's to buy stuff for a new mom. The idea is that new moms don't have any baby things yet, and also that new moms are often younger and therefore often not as financially settled and might need more help. Maybe a birthday party for a baby if you want to welcome a new baby into the world would be cool. But a shower? I think it's pretty tacky to have them for later kids. I didn't even have a shower for #1 because we were older and financially very stable and didn't need help buying anything, and the people who would have been invited would have had to struggle to buy us stuff. But we did invite people over to see the new baby, and a few of them brought small gifts.

[Peony]

Originally Posted by Alkenny

I'm old-school thinking too, one shower *unless you are remarried/repartnered and having a baby with that person* or there's a big age difference between the kiddos.

Yes, every baby deserves a party, but I think baby showers are more about getting 'stuff' than celebrating a baby's birth. That just may be my take on it though.

My thoughts as well.

[swimswamswum]

Originally Posted by Alkenny

I'm old-school thinking too, one shower *unless you are remarried/repartnered and having a baby with that person* or there's a big age difference between the kiddos.

Yes, every baby deserves a party, but I think baby showers are more about getting 'stuff' than celebrating a baby's birth. That just may be my take on it though.

I agree completely. This is how my family does it. One shower, lots of celebrations for new babies (baptisms, birthday parties etc.).

[AngieB]

I like the idea of having a blessing way for the mother for baby #2 or more.I know that a lot on MDCers don't like this term but I don't know what else to call it : . That way the pregnancy and birth can be celebrated and the mom to be can have a special day, and no one has to buy a bunch of baby stuff that the mom really doesn't need.

[limabean]

Chiming back in because I was thinking about my friend who is pregnant with her 3rd boy. So far, no one is doing a shower for her, but she had one for her first, then a smaller party for her second (no gifts, but we each scrapbooked a calendar page for the new baby's scrapbook so that she'd have a headstart -- her MIL thought of that, and I thought it was a great idea!).

I do kind of feel like we're ignoring this third baby a little. Maybe I'll organize a ... not "shower," because I do think those are about supplying new parents with the necessities, but maybe a tea party or something just to celebrate this little one the way his big brothers were celebrated.

[boigrrrlwonder]

Originally Posted by mamazee

I'll vote for first child only. A baby shower isn't to welcome a baby into the world - the baby isn't even usually born yet when the shower happens - it's to buy stuff for a new mom. The idea is that new moms don't have any baby things yet, and also that new moms are often younger and therefore often not as financially settled and might need more help. Maybe a birthday party for a baby if you want to welcome a new baby into the world would be cool. But a shower? I think it's pretty tacky to have them for later kids. I didn't even have a shower for #1 because we were older and financially very stable and didn't need help buying anything, and the people who would have been invited would have had to struggle to buy us stuff. But we did invite people over to see the new baby, and a few of them brought small gifts.

I don't know if that's true. No one threw me a baby shower for my first kid, and it was *because* I am young and not financially stable - people generally agreed that I shouldn't be encouraged keeping the kid. I ended up getting most of my baby stuff from charity or from people from church after I had her, so I still received the help I needed, but it wasn't the same. I'm really hoping for my second child (who I won't have for a very long time, but that's another matter) that someone *does* throw me a baby shower. I feel like I really missed out, not having people around me to share in the excitement of being pregnant and going to have a new baby.

[mamazee]

Originally Posted by boigrrrlwonder

I don't know if that's true. No one threw me a baby shower for my first kid, and it was *because* I am young and not financially stable - people generally agreed that I shouldn't be encouraged keeping the kid. I ended up getting most of my baby stuff from charity or from people from church after I had her, so I still received the help I needed, but it wasn't the same. I'm really hoping for my second child (who I won't have for a very long time, but that's another matter) that someone *does* throw me a baby shower. I feel like I really missed out, not having people around me to share in the excitement of being pregnant and going to have a new baby.

Well that sucks, and was incredibly judgmental, and was just plain wrong.