Baby showers--one for every child? - Page 2

[sonrisaa29]

I think it depends on where you live too. I lived in Texas for a while and it seems that most people I knew had one for every child. Now I live in PA and you get one and that's it.

[marybethorama]

Originally Posted by Alkenny

Yes, every baby deserves a party, but I think baby showers are more about getting 'stuff' than celebrating a baby's birth. That just may be my take on it though.

Those are my feelings too.

[lilyka]

I am a firm believer that every child needs to be celebrated and welcomed and deserves a party. But I have never been a fan of the invite hundreds of people and make a registry parties. Around here showers are usually just a fun afternoon thing with cake and punch and small gifts ($5-$15 range) and people would likely be giving the happy family anyway.

[treqi]

Originally Posted by A&A

Each child deserves to be welcomed into the world with a party.

yup

showers aren't all about getting stuff

[*Aimee*]

I feel that baby showers are more for the moms and not for the kids. I had a baby shower with my son but I wont be having anymore when I have more kids. Instead we're going to wait until the new babies are a month old or so and throw a party for the baby. People can bring gifts if they want, or not, just more laid back and about celebrating the baby.

[DBassett]

I have an honest question- why is it tacky if someone else throws you a shower for your 3rd, 4th, or whatever child? I'm not understanding how it's tacky if YOU didn't ask for it...

I DO however think that it's tacky to throw your own shower, even if it's for your first child. I feel like it's asking for a hand out.

That being said, I've had 4 "showers". With DS #1, I had 1 shower and only THREE people showed up. : With DS #2, MIL had a shower for me entirely too close to my due date so I was extremely uncomfortable. StepMIL had a shower for me after the baby was born (He was only a few weeks old so I was in NO condition to go to a party but did anyone ask me?? Of course not) bc her family doesn't get along with MIL's family (they did the graduation party for DBF the same way. They separate everything) My mother couldn't attend either party and badly wanted to so she threw her own but she lives in NY so I couldn't attend lol. She video taped it for me and she and her guests had a BLAST. My mom came to visit and brought gifts from the shower with her. So I had 3 showers with 1 kid and I didn't ask for any of them. Tacky? No. I think emphatically not.

With future children, I plan on throwing my own parties but they will be welcome baby parties to be thrown when *I* feel like it. The invitations will have a nice little blurb reading something about how gifts are NOT expected or necessary but if they'd like to bring a gift, that's fine. It's going to be to celebrate the baby though since well, I've got tons of stuff and don't really *NEED* anything. I had blood pressure issues with my last son when people came to visit me so we'll see if these welcome baby parties are even possible when the time comes.

I still don't think it's tacky if someone else opts to throw you a party. I honestly don't understand how in the world someone could consider it tacky unless you threw it for yourself. I mean like I said, if you didn't ask for it then YOU didn't ask for gifts. I agree thought that 6 page registries are tacky! BLECH

[limabean]

Originally Posted by treqi

showers aren't all about getting stuff

I kinda think they are, or at least that's how they originated -- to shower the mom-to-be with all the stuff she'd need for her baby. I think if people want to throw an expecting mom a party to celebrate her pending arrival, but don't want the guests to bring gifts, they should definitely call it something other than a "shower."

[gmvh]

Originally Posted by A&A

Each child deserves to be welcomed into the world with a party.

I completely agree. This subject - baby showers - is still kind of a bitter point with me. We have twins and they are our only children and we don't plan to have more. We had no baby shower and my mother, in particular, didn't think it was a big deal even though she had one (or two) for each of her three children. I wasn't concerned about getting stuff, I just wanted to celebrate with people that we were having TWO babies! It still makes me very sad that no one had any energy or enthusiasm to work something out. I will say that things were complicated by the fact that none of us live near each other, nor do my folks live where we spent most of our growing up years (so no hometown to return to), nor do my husband's parents. Extenuating circumstances, I know, and it would have been nearly impossible, but no one even tried. Makes me want to cry right now thinking about it.

Excuse my personal pity party. A party for every baby is my vote, be it before or after the birth, gifts or no gifts.

[cutekid]

Belly Blessings

My very Natural and AP group has started a new tradition called a "belly Blessing". Rather than having tons of pastel decor, and horrid shower games, the group gets together and empowers the woman. The two -three hour blessing starts with a list of things that the mom specifically needs. I could be that she need a water hose for the birthing pool or essential oil, or maybe she does need baby clothes. The list isn't your average baby shower register that for sure. The gifts are put on a table to be admired by the guests but they aren't passed around the room. The focus of the belly blessing is the mother to be.
Everyone arrives with homemade goodies, specific to the moms tastes. If she wants steak, the guest bring it, if she's vegan each and every dish is vegan.
Then the blessings part. Blessing starts by putting the mother to be at center stage. She is pampered with massages, and pedicures...whatever she wants while each guest tell how birth and motherhood has empowered them. Our blessing we give the mother a necklace with beads that represent each guests pregnancy and motherhood. The necklace is to be worn while in labor, to help the laboring mother to focus on her abilities to give birth naturally.
We have a few more belly blessings coming up in the next few months, one of the moms wants a belly cast, another wants a body massage for a professional.

My own baby shower was a bust. My friends at the time showed up hung over and with stuff they thought I needed. They couldn't remember how to spell my name on the shower registry. I made the mistake of saying that my DS's nursery was going to be in Winnie the Pooh, next thing I knew..EVERYTHING that was given to him was winnie the pooh. But ti was fun, some of my family may have learned too much about my dorm life days.

Denise

[waiting4it2snow]

Originally Posted by cutekid

My very Natural and AP group has started a new tradition called a "belly Blessing". Rather than having tons of pastel decor, and horrid shower games, the group gets together and empowers the woman. The two -three hour blessing starts with a list of things that the mom specifically needs. I could be that she need a water hose for the birthing pool or essential oil, or maybe she does need baby clothes. The list isn't your average baby shower register that for sure. The gifts are put on a table to be admired by the guests but they aren't passed around the room. The focus of the belly blessing is the mother to be. Everyone arrives with homemade goodies, specific to the moms tastes. If she wants steak, the guest bring it, if she's vegan each and every dish is vegan. Then the blessings part. Blessing starts by putting the mother to be at center stage. She is pampered with massages, and pedicures...whatever she wants while each guest tell how birth and motherhood has empowered them. Our blessing we give the mother a necklace with beads that represent each guests pregnancy and motherhood. The necklace is to be worn while in labor, to help the laboring mother to focus on her abilities to give birth naturally. We have a few more belly blessings coming up in the next few months, one of the moms wants a belly cast, another wants a body massage for a professional. Denise

How Lovely! Just, what a wonderful tradition,



I don't think "tacky" should be applied to baby showers, it's just so judgmental Hopefully there are people in the mom's life that will do what the mom wants, whatever it may be. My homeschool group threw a baby shower for me for #3 and I was really relieved - we had given away all our stuff when we moved cross-country and we were really, really broke - I got a lot of garage sale and goodwill items, and it was SUCH a relief - I had no baby clothes before the shower and I had no idea how I was going to come up with the money for them, so I was very blessed by the shower.

And conversly to that kind of situation, maybe a mom doesn't need a shower for every kid, and maybe a shower seems to be about just getting "things" but emotionally, it comes across as a celebration for the baby, and every mom should feel their baby is celebrated - how sad for those who have missed out on that - listen to how it still hurts them in this thread.

Like the belly blessing tradition above, if you don't want to bring "things" - bringing something that nurtures the mother - even a certificate for a massage - would be greatly appreciated, I'm sure - and perhaps convey more of your values in a positive supportive way.

[liberal_chick]

I'm in the "every baby gets a party" camp. Even people who save stuff from one baby to the next will need some new things. In my family, no one ever goes out and registers for subsequent children, but we always come packed to the hilt with diapers, new clothes, baby wash, blankets, etc. We live for baby showers, though. Any excuse to get together.

[lilyka]

Originally Posted by limabean

I kinda think they are, or at least that's how they originated -- to shower the mom-to-be with all the stuff she'd need for her baby. I think if people want to throw an expecting mom a party to celebrate her pending arrival, but don't want the guests to bring gifts, they should definitely call it something other than a "shower."

Even while it is not all about gifts it is still so fun to bless the mom and baby with something special. Be it a pack of diapers, onsies, a meal, or whatever.

[mommy2abigail]

We plan to have a 'welcome baby' party for our 2,3,4,ect children. We really dont need anything, I make all the cd's, we co-sleep so no crib, ect, and we dont use bouncers, swings ect. We really do want people to come and enjoy food and fun. For my dd's shower, my friends planned it, but I made it clear that my only request was that it be at a park and that all the kids be invited. It was a beautiful day, lots of friends and families playing at the park. I dont think there is anything wrong with a party/shower/blessing for each baby. I think it's wrong to 'expect' gifts, but that holds true for any occasion, birthday, wedding, shower, not just for a baby shower.

[dallaschildren]

Originally Posted by A&A

Each child deserves to be welcomed into the world with a party.

Most definately. ITA.

DC

[newcastlemama]

My SIL is about to have her 2nd girl in 1.5 years and just had another shower. She registed and everything. I thought the etiquitte was 1 shower? Unless you moved, got rid of all your stuff...My mom thought she was done having kids and 7 years after her last---suprise!...so someone threw her a shower because she had given all her baby stuff away.

I had a shower with #1 and I do not feel right about having one again. If someone said they wanted to throw me one I would delcline. I don't want people to feel obligated to give me gifts everytime I decide to have another child. I do think a new baby party is fun though. The Baby Blessing cutekid described sounds wonderful also.
With my shower I did have my mom know that gifts were optional because I really just wanted to see everyone and hang out.

I also think a baby can be very welcomed and loved without a party though too.

I think multiple showers can be financially hard for people too in my age group because everyone is just starting out. There are brides that have multiple showers (one big one, a lingerie one) and then wedding gifts on top of that...I just think this kind of stuff can get out of hand.