My kids wont eat ANYTHING!!!!!!

[AngieB]

My kids will not eat anything!!!! I HAVE HAD IT!!!!!!! I know all the advise about just fix healthy meals and let them eat what they like but they don't like anything. Even normal food that most kids like they don't. They don't like any type of pasta, nothing that is mixed together, they never eat sidedishes like rice, beans or potatoes they will only eat a few vegi's, they will pick at a salad, they don't like sandwiches, pancakes...the list goes on and on and on. The only thing they will eat is meat, mostly chicken and some steak and pork if cooked the right way. I can't afford to cook meat for every meal and I'm sick of eating the same 3 meals all the time. I try making good meals that they should like but They will not eat it and I end up dumping loads of food in the trash. Has anyone come up with a way of getting their kids to eat.

[Strong Mama]

wow your kids sound like my younger ds. he only really eats meat, sometimes pizza and rarely spagetti. meat meat and more meat and fries. i am sick of it too!

[bdavis337]

Here's where I don't meet the GD standards on MDC.....

If I make something and my 6 yo doesn't like it, he can wait until the next meal. I don't make special food. I don't deliberately serve things he hates but I also don't offer alternatives or break my back to make every meal one he loves. We had salmon patties, rice and peas the other night and he nearly flipped out. Took him 45 minutes, but he realized that if he didn't eat, he'd be really hungry until breakfast the next day. I don't force him to eat, but I don't go overboard to only serve his favorites either.

[RomanGoddess]

Originally Posted by bdavis337

Here's where I don't meet the GD standards on MDC.....

If I make something and my 6 yo doesn't like it, he can wait until the next meal. I don't make special food. I don't deliberately serve things he hates but I also don't offer alternatives or break my back to make every meal one he loves. We had salmon patties, rice and peas the other night and he nearly flipped out. Took him 45 minutes, but he realized that if he didn't eat, he'd be really hungry until breakfast the next day. I don't force him to eat, but I don't go overboard to only serve his favorites either.

Yep, that's my approach, too, with my almost-3 year old. What is not GD about that?

[AngieB]

Originally Posted by bdavis337

Here's where I don't meet the GD standards on MDC.....

If I make something and my 6 yo doesn't like it, he can wait until the next meal. I don't make special food. I don't deliberately serve things he hates but I also don't offer alternatives or break my back to make every meal one he loves. We had salmon patties, rice and peas the other night and he nearly flipped out. Took him 45 minutes, but he realized that if he didn't eat, he'd be really hungry until breakfast the next day. I don't force him to eat, but I don't go overboard to only serve his favorites either.

This is pretty much what I do, but the part that really bothers me is that they wont eat it, they don't care if they'll be hungry until morning and I end up throwing away soooooooo much food. It's such a waste I feel like not even feeding them. Sometimes as I dish up dinner I think whats the point I'll just be dumping it in the trash in about 10 minutes.

[North_Of_60]

Originally Posted by AngieB

This is pretty much what I do, but the part that really bothers me is that they wont eat it, they don't care if they'll be hungry until morning and I end up throwing away soooooooo much food. It's such a waste I feel like not even feeding them. Sometimes as I dish up dinner I think whats the point I'll just be dumping it in the trash in about 10 minutes.

Why would you dump it in the trash.

To reduce waste I would I only offer small amounts at a time. Like, a bite or two. Offer more as they eat it. What they don't eat can go in the fridge for your lunch tomorrow, or get frozen and used up later as part of another meal or as a quick dinner one night.

Try to plan "carry over meals", so that if you end up with a bunch of left overs you can re-create a new meal that is almost entirely different the next night. For example, tonight we're having grilled chicken and roasted veggies. I KNOW we're going to have left overs, so tomorrow I'm going to throw it all in the crock pot with some stewed tomatoes and pasta, and we'll have a sort of stew/soup/pasta dish tomorrow night. Throw in some garlic bread and dinner is practically done.

I would also get them involved in the shopping and cooking. Ask them what they would like, get them to right out a shopping list, let them help you pick out the veggies. SHOW them how to pick out veggies, teach them about food. "You can tell it's a good potato when...". Find jobs for them that include them in kitchen. I'm not sure how old they are, but using a safely peeler they could peel carrots or something.

Try themed meals - like a "mini" night. Mini carrots, mini meatloaves, etc. And you'd be amazed at how well you can hide a ton of veggies in a meatloaf. My daughter is on a meat kick right now, and I made turkey meatloaf the other night and it had carrots, spinach, zucchini, and red bell peppers in it. She scarfed it down.

Have a "restaraunt" night where everyone can take turns wearing an apron and serving the table. Be silly.. "would you like some pepper, mossier?" (Like the McCormick commercial ).

My sister was THE pickiest kid I've ever known, and this is what we did. Now though, she'll eat anything. ANYTHING! :

[maya44]

As a pp said, why in the world do you throw things out?

We serve family style. You have to ask for something to be put on your plate. If they don't eat much put a miniscule portion on the plate and then when they have finished that they can take more.

Anything not eaten can then simply be put in the fridge and put out another night.

So here's a typical meal:

Salmon
Rice
Salad
Bread
Fruit.

The next night for dinner you could make

Pasta
Cheese
Sause
Leftover salmon
Any left over bread and fruit

Believe me, all children will eat if they get hungry ennough. There is never a need for waste.

[LilyGrace]

I do the "fridge until next meal" take on it. I don't cater, but I'm not going to be cruel, either. If it's not eaten by next meal, then it's dumped. I also have a one bite rule. It's not as demanding as it sounds. We talk about foods we used to dislike and how many times it takes to try a new food to decide if you like it or not. I think I'm on the 77,999 time of trying peas, myself. Nope, still don't like it.

Kids cookbooks are great, too. They have a few Star Wars ones and Roald Dahl's Revolting Recipes (and Even More Revolting Recipes) and DK makes some great theme cookbooks. Once a month at least we try to do a special meal and have now started to try to plan a movie with it so we have a whole family fun night going on.

[bdavis337]

I save whatever they don't eat, and serve it again to myself or my husband.

Involving my oldest in the cooking process hasn't improved his picky eating habits one bit. He loves to mix, measure and pour, but he'll still turn up his nose at whatever looks, smells or feels different. So I find our best option to intro new foods or even just serve stuff he doesn't like is to keep it small. When I serve rice (which he HATES) I try to pair it with things he DOES like. So we might have chicken parmesan (his absolute favorite dish of all time), rice and carrots. He gets raw carrots, the rest of us eat the steamed carrots and we all get rice and chicken. A little bit of "give" makes my job easier in the kitchen, but we all end up eating the same meal so I'm not playing short order cook.

[bdavis337]

Originally Posted by cmlp

Yep, that's my approach, too, with my almost-3 year old. What is not GD about that?

In discussions waaaaay back when I've had in various parenting forums on mdc, a lot of mamas really took offense that I don't allow my children complete freedom of choice for family meals, or meals that I prepare when they either refuse to make a choice or aren't around during the preparation. I've been told it's not GD to "impose my feeding will" on my kids. :

[mamazee]

My daughter eats a lot of different kinds of foods, so I can't be of much help because I've never dealt with this problem. We have had her refuse to eat something we've prepared, and even food we know she likes. I put it in the fridge and tell her we can re-heat it if she gets hungry. If she doesn't eat it my husband generally will. There are a few healthy foods within her reach she can get when she wants, but not much variety - mainly just fruit. And if she gets hungry, I can get the food back out of the fridge and re-heat it. I don't make her taste things she doesn't like, though she will usually try something the first time she sees it - she even tried asparagus. But I don't think I'd force it. I really just try to not make food an issue at all. Also, my daughter eats a ton of food every day for a few days, and then almost nothing for a few days after that sometimes. Sometimes when she doesn't eat it's just a day where she isn't eating much, and she seems to have her system and it's working really well health and weight-wise, so I just work with it.

I think in your case what I would personally do is have a small number of healthy foods available within reach, and then cook what you want, and let them eat what is cooked or choose from the few available healthy foods they can get and (if necessary) prepare and clean up after themselves, but I wouldn't put any effort into making something else myself. I cook one thing and if it isn't eaten, people can get something else themselves. Eventually they'll get bored of the few available healthy foods and eat something else. But they won't starve if there's food available so I wouldn't sweat it too much. And I certainly wouldn't limit everyone else to "chicken cooked just the way they like it" all the time because that's all they'll eat. My mom did this with me - I was a terribly picky eater - and I lived on peanut butter sandwiches and apples for a couple of years. I am no longer a picky eater and no one forced me to eat things I didn't like. My parents were overly punitive and not great in some ways but this is one place where I think they did great - they said that kids have stronger taste buds but I might want to keep trying things every so often because as I get older there will be things that didn't taste good that start to taste good. And without being forced or pushed, I every so often tried things again, and I eat a very wide variety of foods now. But my mom never made two meals. I knew where the bread and peanut butter were and if I didn't like what she made, I could make a sandwich, so long as I cleaned up after myself.

I'm definitely on the "more relaxed" end of things, but you've got a good spectrum of responses in this thread, so hopefully you'll find some ideas that work for you. Good luck!

[crazydiamond]

I know all the advise about just fix healthy meals and let them eat what they like but they don't like anything.

But you're forgetting the other half of that theory: it's not your responsibility to make them eat.

By making only the foods they like (and thus getting sick of them yourself), you are making it your responsibility.

So, cook meals the family, in general, likes. Don't be cruel, of course, but don't go out of your way to try to please them. Put a tiny bit of each food on their plate. Don't comment about what they eat, what they don't eat, or anything. In other words, don't say a word. You can do a "one bite" rule if you wish. Otherwise, if they don't eat, then so what? They won't wither away to nothing by skipping one meal. And unless they have a certain few medical conditions, they will eat. Normal kids will eat.

I think by doing this, and following the other advice about taking them shopping and having them help in the preparation and service of the food, you're teaching them a healthy respect towards you, for all the hardwork you do, and for where their food comes from.

And by all means, definitely do not throw that food out! But I guarantee that if you serve only tiny bits, like literally one bite of each dish, there won't be much to waste if kids mangle it.

[North_Of_60]

Originally Posted by bdavis337

I've been told it's not GD to "impose my feeding will" on my kids. :

So then we end up teaching our children that mom's time is invaluable, and that her purpose in life is to be a servant and short order cook, preparing 3 separate dishes at each meal. It's not ecinomical or practical to shop for and cook 3 sepperate dishes at every meal. That's ridiculous.

Add me to the "prepare one meal and let them eat when they're hungry" camp.

Originally Posted by crazydiamond

I think by doing this, and following the other advice about taking them shopping and having them help in the preparation and service of the food, you're teaching them a healthy respect towards you, for all the hardwork you do, and for where their food comes from.

Exactly.

[AngieB]

Thank you for all the ideas. The reason I throw out the food is because even if they don't like the food they destroy the meal and no one wants to eat what's left. They pick it apart, chew it up an spit it out onto the plate, mix it together, spill things on it. Dinner is a nightmare.

This is my new game plan. I will fix the food DH and I enjoy (nothing to weird). I will give the dc choices for what they would like to put on their plate and then only give them a very small amount to try. If they don't eat it fine they can eat again at the next meal or snack time.

Ok next question....Here is an example. They like chicken drumsticks, so say I'm serving drumsticks, mashed potatoes and salad. The only thing they want to eat is the drumsticks and they could eat 4 or 5 of them each. I can't afford to buy enough chicken for them each to eat that many. So is it reasonable to say I have planned 2 drumsticks each and if you are still hungry then I guess you need to eat some salad or potatoes.

[mamazee]

Originally Posted by AngieB

Ok next question....Here is an example. They like chicken drumsticks, so say I'm serving drumsticks, mashed potatoes and salad. The only thing they want to eat is the drumsticks and they could eat 4 or 5 of them each. I can't afford to buy enough chicken for them each to eat that many. So is it reasonable to say I have planned 2 drumsticks each and if you are still hungry then I guess you need to eat some salad or potatoes.

Yes yes yes! Very reasonable.

[North_Of_60]

Originally Posted by AngieB

So is it reasonable to say I have planned 2 drumsticks each and if you are still hungry then I guess you need to eat some salad or potatoes.

Yep. I can't afford to buy my kid rib eyes every night, even though I KNOW she'd eat those. I usually offer her the least favorable items first, then give her the stuff she loves last. I find she eats the vegetables out of HUNGER, and then eats the meat because it tastes good. I find what she eats is much more balanced this way, otherwise she'd fill up on steak and then pick at the veggies.

[bdavis337]

QUITE reasonable. My son would eat nothing but noodles and cheese if that's all I put on his plate, but he gets a finite serving of the just about evertything, (cooking for 4 leaves little leftover most of the time) with small amounts waiting for "seconds" if he's made it through most of everything ELSE (and I always start with small servings, smaller even than I anticipate him to eat),

[UUMom]

I would start preparing much, much less food, just in general, and getting them involved in shopping and prep. They are old enough, esp your older ones. They can wash lettuce, slice veggies etc. I would put a small amount of food on each of their plates. For instance, 3 tears of lettuce, a cherry tomato or two cut in half, a cucumber slice cut in quarters, two strawberries, 4 grapes, a half of a potato, or even a quarter of a potato, 3 or 5 or 8 bites of chicken or whatever meat you have, depending on their age. There is *no way* I would be planning two drumsticks per kid when they don't eat. One is fine, and there is other food to sample. They can eat as much of the sides as they want.

It's not just your job anymore-- they need to participate in all aspects. Maybe they could even grow things in pots if you don't have a yard.

Stop making so much food, It only frustrates them and upsets you. Not to mention, you're wasting money. I know you didn't plan for it to be like this, but now it's got to reigned in.

[North_Of_60]

Originally Posted by UUMom

It's not just your job anymore-- they need to participate in all aspects. Maybe they could even grow things in pots if you don't have a yard.

Oh that's a good idea! Lettuce is painfully easy to grow (even I can do it!). As are cherry tomatos. You can get started plants instead of starting from seeds. They may like the idea of growing their own food, and then taking pride in eating what they've grown.

And I second the idea that even two drumsticks is way much. For small children that doesn't leave a lot of room for other things, even they did want them.

What about doing a craft project about food pyramids (make what ever pyramid represents your family's diet). They may understand the idea that they should eat meat AND vegetables AND grains, etc more if they can actually see it. Then at meal time revert back to the craft project (that is hanging on the fridge?) while you doll out ALL the food groups.. not just drumsticks.

I'm not much into the bribing thing, and since we were poor we were FORCED to sit at the table until we ate the hard earned food (and as a result I'm obese because I can't walk away from food on my plate), but in the case I think it might work to encourage eating a variety of foods before allowing them to choose what they want. For example, offer small portions of everything, and give them the opportunity to have a second helping of whatever they want IF they finish the first helping.

[siobhang]

best advice I once got.

You can't make a kid eat, sleep or poop.

PPs have excellent advice. And I think doling out small bits of food that can be eaten as leftovers is a great idea to save money. Big lesson to them is that you don't waste food. If they don't like it, fine, but food is not wasted. Someone else can eat it if they don't.

Good luck!