My kids wont eat ANYTHING!!!!!! - Page 2

[RoundAbout]

Originally Posted by North_Of_60

So then we end up teaching our children that mom's time is invaluable, and that her purpose in life is to be a servant and short order cook, preparing 3 separate dishes at each meal. It's not ecinomical or practical to shop for and cook 3 sepperate dishes at every meal. That's ridiculous.

Add me to the "prepare one meal and let them eat when they're hungry" camp.

Absolutely. After all I "impose my feeding will" on my husband He's not always thrilled with what I make (same for me when he cooks), but he doesn't turn up his nose at it and fix a sandwich instead. That wouldn't be polite and devalues the work of the person doing the food prep and cooking.

I only have a baby so no food issues yet, but growing up I was never forced to eat anything. However, a special "kid's meal" was out of the question. I had many a dinner of plain rice or bread because I didn't like anything else being served. Gradually I tried more stuff, and now as an adult I'm a pretty adventurous eater. I don't think that would be the case if my mom had made meals with only my favorites.

[mamarhu]

Please consider that your children may have sensory processing issues (http://www.sensory-processing-disord...checklist.html) For some kids, the smell, texture, or taste of certain (most?) foods is more than they can bear. My son has a short list of foods he can eat without gagging, but somehow he stays alive and pretty darn healthy. I am so relieved to have stopped fighting the mealtime war.

[North_Of_60]

Originally Posted by mamarhu

Please consider that your children may have sensory processing issues (http://www.sensory-processing-disord...checklist.html) For some kids, the smell, texture, or taste of certain (most?) foods is more than they can bear. My son has a short list of foods he can eat without gagging, but somehow he stays alive and pretty darn healthy. I am so relieved to have stopped fighting the mealtime war.

If a child has this problem, will they eat the food, spit it out, mash it up, throw it around, play with it, squish it, etc? Or is it just an avoidence?

[hippie_mommy]

You've gotten some great advice.

What has worked for us is:

• Family-style meals with at least one thing that I know they will eat (fruit or even something like applesauce is easy)
  
• A one-bite rule once they are old enough to deal with it, but only for one item. If we are having several things that they don't like or don't know, then they can just choose one thing to taste
  
• Having them help to prepare - this is a biggie! My kids are much more likely to eat something if they've seen what is in it. The big exception to this is for meals where I am sneaking food into them (green smoothies, veggies snuck into homemade chicken nuggets, etc)
  
• Introducing new meals and then re-using them often enough that they have a chance to get used to the taste. My son hated all pasta, but after enough nights of wanting breadsticks and needing to taste a bite of spaghetti, he changed his mind and now eats the spaghetti and enjoys it. This has happened to a LOT of our meals. He just needed some time to adjust.

Tomorrow night will not be a night that my ds will be pleased with... we are having bean enchiladas, and he is not a fan of beans. He will probably have tortillas and fruit, and maybe pick at a bite or two of beans. That's OK though. We've had plenty of meals like this that developed into meals that he ate. It just takes a little while This one is new to our rotation.

[LilyGrace]

Originally Posted by AngieB

Ok next question....Here is an example. They like chicken drumsticks, so say I'm serving drumsticks, mashed potatoes and salad. The only thing they want to eat is the drumsticks and they could eat 4 or 5 of them each. I can't afford to buy enough chicken for them each to eat that many. So is it reasonable to say I have planned 2 drumsticks each and if you are still hungry then I guess you need to eat some salad or potatoes.

Yes! Two things help tremendously around here:

1. tv dinner style trays. Meat/breads go in the small sections, veggies in the big one. They don't have to eat everything, just one bite, but if they would like seconds they do need to eat everything on their plate.

2. education, education, education! I found one of those silly Food Movers by Richard Simmons at our thrift store years ago. I laughed at it, and then thought - what if this could be made bigger? We always talk about the food pyramid, but it's not very visual and easily forgotten, especially for kids. I made my own poster kid-friendly version of the food mover and put it on the fridge. Everytime the kids ate something from that food group, they got to cover the picture. This helped keep things in perspective. After we got into better eating habits we ditched the poster but came up with other ways to keep us on track. Cereal was/is a popular food in the house, but one bowl can vary from 8oz to 16oz, plus 2 cups of milk. Half wasted, of course. Ziploc makes 8oz bowls, so I premeasure a box at a time, letting the kids be able to grab a bowl, pop off the lid, and add milk. No more wasted food (and a little bit more sleep time for mommy ).
Same with snacks - premeasured, thrown in the bottom bin in the fridge. If they are still hungry at any time they're encouraged to pick a different food group to eat so they're not downing 2-3 bowls of cereal or 6 packs of cheese. It's more balanced and teaches them everything in moderation.

[bdavis337]

Something else I wanted to add here - I recently sat down with my 6 year old and we wrote up a "table manners" list. We brainstormed all the things that we value when we sit down to the table, things important to both he and the adults, and we wrote them in a short list, I think 8 or 9 items. They include simple things like washing hands before eating, sitting quietly in the chair, trying 1 bite of everything before deciding if you like it, and being respectful about the food (not complaining if you don't like it). We review it whenever it seems that the family table/meal isn't goind smoothly, and it's posted up in the kitchen where we can all easily see and read it from the table while we're eating.

Recently, I was unhappy with the way a meal had turned out, and grumbled about it all through dinner. I was quite roundly chastised by my son - "MUMMY! Stop complaining about your dinner and eat a bite, or you'll have to wait for breakfast!"

[mistymama]

I don't know if anyone else has mentioned it, but you might want to read up on Sensory Processing Disorder.

My son has it and would seriously starve himself before he would eat most foods. People always say, "If they get hungry enough, they will eat" ... not true with SPD.

Anyway, a local occupational therapist recommended a book called Just Take A Bite, written by an OT specifically about resistant eaters. It's wonderful, and even has plans for involving your child and getting them to go through the sensory steps to accept and eventually taste a new food. It's done playfully, with no force or coersion.

I'm very excited, we are going to start the program just as soon as I can get the supplies I need and my gameplan in place. Currently my son lives off PediaSure and snacks and I hate it.

[amj'smommy]

Originally Posted by mistymama

I don't know if anyone else has mentioned it, but you might want to read up on Sensory Processing Disorder.

My son has it and would seriously starve himself before he would eat most foods. People always say, "If they get hungry enough, they will eat" ... not true with SPD.

Anyway, a local occupational therapist recommended a book called Just Take A Bite, written by an OT specifically about resistant eaters. It's wonderful, and even has plans for involving your child and getting them to go through the sensory steps to accept and eventually taste a new food. It's done playfully, with no force or coersion.

I'm very excited, we are going to start the program just as soon as I can get the supplies I need and my gameplan in place. Currently my son lives off PediaSure and snacks and I hate it.

Who is the author of that book? That sounds like it might work for my older ds (PDD) very picky eater.

[mistymama]

Here is the link to the book on Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/Just-Take-Bite...3998773&sr=8-1

I honestly can't say enough good things about it.

[TAC]

One thing I have always done, serve bread at dinner. No it's not the single most nutritional thing, but most kids will eat a slice of bread and butter. If they have their two drum sticks and are still hungry but don't like what is left, let them have a slice of bread.

Also, let them choose what and how much to put on their own plates. They can serve themselves what they want and leave out what they don't. If there are only 8 drumsticks for four people, explain how many they each can have and let them pick the ones they want and place it on their own plate. If they don't want potatoes, they don't have to put any on their plate.

Food and feeding is all about control. Let them have as much control as they reasonable can. This is what is for dinner, you can control whether or not you eat and what you eat at the table.

[North_Of_60]

Originally Posted by mistymama

I don't know if anyone else has mentioned it, but you might want to read up on Sensory Processing Disorder.

My son has it and would seriously starve himself before he would eat most foods. People always say, "If they get hungry enough, they will eat" ... not true with SPD.

I've asked this once already, but I'll ask again. If a child has SPD, will they do this:

Originally Posted by AngieB

The reason I throw out the food is because even if they don't like the food they destroy the meal and no one wants to eat what's left. They pick it apart, chew it up an spit it out onto the plate, mix it together, spill things on it.

I don't know much about SPD aside from what's been posted here, but when I first read that quote on page 1, it sounded like neither children respected the food on their plates or the effort of preparing it (hence the suggestion to get them involved in meal preparations).

And if mom will cave in (for lack of a better explanation) and serve them what they want, it's no wonder they "play" with their food (mixing it up and pouring stuff on it) - because they'll eventually get something they do like. Also hence the suggestion to offer one bite at a time.

I mean, I hope it's not SPD, and I suppose it wouldn't hurt to be evaluated, but this just screams "I'll play with my food until mom feeds me something I like".

[mistymama]

Sorry, I didn't see where you asked the first time.

Actually, one of the sensory steps towards actually tasting a food is touching/playing with it. So yes, my son does play with his food sometimes, and that's actually a very good thing. More often than I can count he'll try something and spit it back out .. not on his plate, I've taught him to run to the trash can.

Some SPD kids wont tolerate the food anywhere near them. But my son will. It varies so much from kid to kid.

[mistymama]

Oh, and I did want to add that having your kids participate in food prep is a GREAT idea.

My son is always more likely to taste or try a food if he's had a hand in cooking it with me.

[North_Of_60]

Originally Posted by mistymama

Some SPD kids wont tolerate the food anywhere near them. But my son will. It varies so much from kid to kid.

That's what I was curious about, thanx!

[Marcee]

My son Barrett was a good eater until he saw those stupid pediasure commercials where the kids would say "I dont think I like Broccoli" and was sure that kids were not supposed to eat that kind of stuff. That was 3 years ago and I am proud to say that 2 days ago HE ATE BROCCOLI! And it was his own choice and he liked it. So they do come around. (Of course he still wont eat peaches, or plums, etc... only Bananas and apples, but we are making progress!)