Relief and a question

[CMcC]

So, I've had a lot of communication problems with a particular client. I suspected she had changed her mind about having a doula. Well, got the email today (13 days before her due date) that she had changed her mind. Honestly, I feel relieved. I've learned a lesson in commitment and communication.

The thing is, since I started being a student doula, I've attended 2 births. As for the other "clients".... One client bailed before the first official meeting (papers and phone calls were made, though). One client bailed after first meeting. And now this one bails...but I've spent 6 hours of face-to-face time with them. I gotta wonder if the problem might be me. Am I tryng too hard? Am I expecting too much out of them? I just don't understand how someone can settle for something that they say they don't want.

Anyone have any wisdom to impart?

[JunipersMom]

Why dont you send them all a sort of form letter that states something like this, but worded better etc...:

All answers annominous and confidential to help me better serve mothers. Please return in provided envelope. Thank you in advance.

1. Do you feel information pack had good information...
2. Were you questions answered....
3. Were fee's reasonable and described well...
4. If I was a doula at your birth, did you feel supported etc..
5. If you decided not to hire me, what was the reasoning...

The only way you'll know is to ask.

[channelofpeace]

Are you doing births for free? Sometimes student doulas choose to do their certifying births for free because they aren't experienced yet. The problem with that is then clients tend not to value their service as much as if they had actually paid for them. True, you might not have a ton of experience, but you are spending your time, effort and energy. If you aren't charging anything for these births, i would start, IMO. It doesn't have to be some huge sum. Perhaps you just ask they buy some good books for you to have available for a client lending library or other thing that might help with your education/ training. You might be new, but you are still valuable.

Hope this helps

[tlcdoula]

Originally Posted by milkydoula

Are you doing births for free? Sometimes student doulas choose to do their certifying births for free because they aren't experienced yet. The problem with that is then clients tend not to value their service as much as if they had actually paid for them. True, you might not have a ton of experience, but you are spending your time, effort and energy. If you aren't charging anything for these births, i would start, IMO. It doesn't have to be some huge sum. Perhaps you just ask they buy some good books for you to have available for a client lending library or other thing that might help with your education/ training. You might be new, but you are still valuable.

Hope this helps

I totally agree with this. I have known many newer doulas who have had this very same problem and in almost all cases it is because they are doing the birth for free. If you put even a small amount of money or value on your services they will value them as well. Plus, people do not like to lose money or possessions so if they pay they tend to take it more seriously and tend to not back out as easily.

I am sorry this is happening to you!!! I also liked the idea of the questionaire so that you can get an idea on what is going one.

[CMcC]

Yes, I am doing this for free. But I can't charge anything because I'm getting my training from local certified doulas and midwives. We have an understanding that I get free training now, first 10 births I do for free, then after I am certified....the local group gets a small percentage of my doula fees. So charging just isn't an option for me.

They always tell me the clients who want a free student doula usually are the most difficult because they aren't invested (financially and aren't normally as committed). So I guess this is this case....again.

Will run the questioneer by my mentor.... it would be a good idea to get some feed back.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

You could always go a different route for certification, or not bother with certification.